subjohn, good question. More than a decade ago if a Mistress asked for a reference and you asked a previous Domina you served for one, sometimes the answer was, "Why do you want to see HER?"

Today this is standard practice for any legit Mistress. I'm dedicated to only one Mistress now (and session rarely). But four or five years ago when this started and I was seeing new Dominas. If I needed a reference I would contact two Mistresses I knew to see if they would be willing to provide a reference. THEN I'd contact the Mistress for more information, scheduling, etc.

The two Mistresses, still active, real pros and nice people, are now based in California and rarely travel to NYC where I lived at the time. That, for me, avoided the awkward question. Good luck!