Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
I always find it to be a turn off when prospective subs go on about how they aren't really submissive. Long explanations about how in control they are at work or how they are such in charge guys, just makes me want to hit the delete button. But . . . I try to be understanding and explain they are not unique (which I am sure many of them don't really appreciate) and that's one of the main reasons professional domination exists. It's just irritating that 1. They think I/We have never encountered anyone like them before and 2. They act ashamed of having submissive fantasies and desires.


I think those kinds of people are trying to reconcile their desires with who they believe themselves to be. Generally, I'm not bothered by this because I feel compassion for people who are just trying to understand and explore their identity.

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Sometimes I feel like they are throwing down the gauntlet - "You are going to have a tough time making me submit because I am so naturally Alpha.


This kind of bratty behavior is uninteresting to me. If I get that attitude when someone requests a session, I usually ignore them.

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Question to other Dommes: How do you deal with these prospective clients? If any of you have "the magic bullet reply" that doesn't offend, but doesn't let them go into the session thinking they are so much more alpha than your other clients, I would love to hear it.


It depends on my assessment of where the person is at.

If the cognitive dissonance is expressed as condescending or hostile behavior toward me, then I pass.

If the person seems angry but more at the desires than directed at me, then I offer counsel to them. I explain that people can explore submission but still be a dominant person. I usually refer them to an article I wrote in which I discuss this. They usually feel better after that because they feel understood.