Hello broom,

Unfortunately this is an industry that has a low bar of entry. There are no education requirements, no certification and usually no boss to make sure you punch the clock or maintain a standard. That is part of the appeal to many Dommes. For the sub that means you have to do more homework and bear a greater burden of selection, communication, etc.

That doesn't mean that a lack of professionalism should be tolerated. Unless you are an emotional masochist, move on and find someone that respects your time and your feelings. If a Domme is routinely ignoring emails, not returning calls, cancels repeatedly, then she is not treating you or her craft professionally. If you were treated that way by your doctor, lawyer or personal trainer, would you tolerate it? If you weren't paying for the session and we were talking about lifestyle play, that is a different animal, but once it becomes transactional a certain level of professionalism and courtesy should be expected.

Originally Posted By broom
don't leave me hanging saying your going to check your calendar then i never hear from you.


I would say that is a bad sign if you are emailing. She should have her calendar in front of her. Advice - move on.

Originally Posted By broom
do i follow up? maybe they forgot? how soon do i send a follow up email? how may times do i send an email? once? twice? i request appointments weeks or months out. how long do i wait before looking elsewhere? if someone waits to respond for weeks or months, am is still obligated to honor that request?


To answer your specific questions, I can only answer for myself but I would guess most serious pros would give similar answers. If you haven't gotten a reply from an email within 48 hours, write again and follow that up with an alternate communication - phone, text, social media, etc. There have been a few rare circumstances where a specific person's email didn't go through. (eg - There was a time if you had a verizon.net email account, your emails didn't reach me.) If you don't get a reply from all of that - move on. Don't take it personally - just assume she is not behaving professionally and that you probably missed a bullet.

I don't mind setting appointments weeks or even a couple of months out - but I also know my schedule pretty far out. That is not the case with Dommes that travel a good bit or do this part time. My suggestion would be to reach out 3-6 weeks prior to your visit and be willing to go ahead and put up a deposit. Again, if you don't hear back move on. If she emails you back days or weeks later - either ignore it like she did you - or politely tell her you have already booked with another Mistress. That is up to you, but you have no obligation to book.

Please note that different Dommes have different modes of communication that they prefer. I prefer email, do not text, do not answer my phone unless I know you and do return voicemails - promptly. (All of this is outlined on my website.) For me, promptly means the same day. I usually check and answer emails multiple times a day. The only exceptions are if I am in an extended event or it's the weekend. When I go on vacation, I set up an auto responder.

I hope this helps, and like buffalo said, it's pretty easy to spot the Ladies that are truly professional and at the top of their game. Choose one of them and you will less likely be disappointed.
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