This is not an idle question. I mean it. I know we engage in bdsm conduct because we want to do so, but do we also seek to find a Lady whose conduct of Her sessions with you/us is actual frightening? Does She hit you physically? Does She abuse you in any other way, i.e., risking your habits becoming publicly known if that is a risk to you? What makes You afraid? I personally have always been confident of a healthy bdsm relationship with the Dommes I saw repeatedly, but I also know that starting anew has risks and uncertainties. Has anyone had a really bad experience which he would be willing to disclose, discuss.