MsRoseWoods,

You have touched on an important and challenging issue. How subs and Dommes communicate is key to a fruitful experience for both.

I recall my very first session and wanting to communicate well, but not having any idea of what I wanted, despite research because I had no experience and didn't know myself. I knew what I thought I wanted, but that's different.

What impressed me about your post was that the sub in your case seemed to have some experience. This increases his responsibility in the communication process.

As one in the submissive role, I wrestle when communicating with not topping from the bottom, or demanding more than appropriate and sharing needs. That balance can off either because of the subs style of communicating or the Domme's perceptions and sensitivities.

Experience helps both parties get it right.