Hello Mistress.

Subs know they have to pay for sessions, phone calls, texts, emails as individual commodities. If they don't get that they'd have to pay for them as part of a generalized experience there's no help for it....

I deal with the financial aspects of sessions as early as possible. I'm more comfortable with dommes who use deposits so we can get the noise out of the way and get to the fun stuff.

With this kind of scene, an immersion, the set-up is everything. No point having the Mistress wonder if you're serious about something that will be time-consuming for her. So pony up early.

So here's my process...

I'll usually have a Mistress in mind. Someone I have been thinking about. She's mature, established. We line up on key points. (I'm very interested in exploring consensual nonconsent, forced femme, and bondage is my debilitating drug of choice). She's articulate, sane, and has that streak of fiendish glee about Her.

If She's in the NYC area, that's ideal. If She travels here, it needs to be more than once a year so we can pick up the thread later if we choose to. A well set-up c/nc session can be revisited multiple times like any well-constructed story.

Next, I'll come up with a scenario that will provide a narrative thread running through the entire engagement. And an idea of what sets in motion. Possible session dates (I like one at the beginning and one at the end with a mind-fuck in the middle; typically my chastity keys are taken after the 1st session and not given back until the 2nd). I'll also share some thoughts on other communications (voice, text, email).

So here's the first hurdle. I will reach out to the Mistress I am leaning toward and ask her to read and consider the above. For which I'll propose a fee - which is solely for consideration. There is no obligation beyond that. Nor is the consideration fee part of a deposit. That is handled separately later.

Dominatrix think-time is a service, even if a session never happens. So I treat it like one. I am asking Her to marshal Her experience, wisdom, imagination and intelligence to think over the bat-shit crazy idea I am proposing. I make it clear that "no" is a perfectly good answer and that I would prefer that if She felt in any way uncomfortable.

If... we move forward, there's the matter of the session deposit and the "immersion" fee. She will define the immersion. Whatever combination of assignments, intraday demands, calls.... I don't want to know too much about it once ground rules are set. IE, don't call my office and say "Can you put that whore future pet on the phone." She sets the fee for the immersion She intends. That plus session deposit are covered simultaneously through whatever electronic vehicle She uses. After that, it's game on.

I am fortunate in a number of ways. I can spend the entire event in chastity without a key if She chooses. (Which is likely.) I work independently a great deal of the time. So I can field this sort of text message. "Go to the men's room - if they still let you in there for some reason - and take a picture. I want to make sure you are wearing the pink panties and stockings I told you to put on. You know what will happen if you aren't...." And so on...

Does it cost more than a session? Yes. But it doesn't cost more than the sum of its parts. And there are peaks that a session alone can't hit. At least not for me. Moments of being truly vulnerable to someone you can't really control. (And if She is all you thought She was, someone who knows how special this is for you to experience and wants to give you the full impact.) A dungeon without walls. A session you can't simply go home from and compartmentalize.

To look at cost another way, a couple of sessions are cool. A few emails are cool. A wicked phonecall or two is cool. You're comfortable paying for all those. Why not once, even if only once, connect them all to a single story line and live it out?