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#7192 - 10/03/19 02:14 AM
Code Words
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 2279
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How do you feel about them? I don't see there as being a right or, wrong way to keep an eye on limits and, safety in session. It is different for everyone and, every situation.
For me, I stopped using code words early into my career as a ProDom. This came about after a young man had driven over 3 hours for a two hour session. He went into detail about how he is into corporal punishment but, no dom had ever gone hard enough with him. So, we had, what I thought was the best session I had done, to that date. No skin was broken. There were no raised welts. But, it was intense. Throughout the session, I would lean into his ear and, whisper just how much I was enjoying punishing him...and, I truly was. After the session, I expected him to be ecstatic. To my surprise, he was really upset. He said it was all he could do to keep from punching me and, that I had gone way too hard. I asked him why he didn't use the code word. He said, "I didn't want to be a pansy and, you were enjoying it. I wouldn't have felt like much of a man if I cried uncle." My heart just sank. I encouraged him to come back and, see me for free. Of course, I never heard from him again. I felt so bad about it and, hoped it wouldn't discourage him from exploring scene play. Shortly after, I made the decision not to have code words and, use open communication instead. For me, it worked like a charm. This seemed to put my subs and, me more in emotional touch. And, it didn't make someone feel as if they were in a match not to cry uncle.
I'd love to hear other's thoughts and, experiences with code words and, limits.
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