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#5258 - 08/14/19 04:44 PM
Re: Changing times and changing attitudes
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Occasional
Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 38
Loc: Southern U.S.
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Mistress Ayn-
I think the blurring of lines between professional domination and full-service sex work has been in effect for quite some time...and before SESTA/FOSTA. The "lumping" together of various offerings on such venues as eros.com seems to have reinforced this. And with this phenomenon has come the tendency of *some* men (I hope a minority) to view Mistresses as a commodity.
Add to this the rise of Instadommes, and the ready availability of fame for any lady who dons leather boots, grabs a riding crop, and poses "for the 'Gram." Unsolicited DMs and catfishing schemes directed at male submissives contributes to a cynical attitude (unfortunately).
What's the way through this? As I reflect on my own involvement in BDSM, I cannot help but recall applying for my very first session over 20 years ago: the application process was basically a series of short-answer essays. There was no "check the box" deal where you select, a la carte, the stuff you want Mistress to do to you. There was no "rate on a 1 to 10" your favorite activities.
What did this do? It puts the onus on the submissive and established the D/s dynamic immediately. I certainly understand why many Mistresses use the newer, check-the-box forms: it cuts down on blathering, novel-length emails and time wasters. But the unintended consequence is the approach of *some* men who view applying for a session as somewhat akin to visiting a sushi bar, pulling out the tiny pencil, and circling how many California rolls he wants.
Long story short: Mistresses should put their collective stilettos down and perhaps take a cue from the "old way." We're here to serve *You* ladies, not the other way around. And, if I'm sincerely interested in giving myself to a Mistress, I shouldn't feel inconvenienced by the bar being raised in the application process.
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