I realize that most people probably aren't going to agree with me here.

But when people started making femdom porn (before my time), they were basically making a representation of things that people did together, or maybe that some guy wanted to do. So maybe there'd be a movie about corporal punishment, or ball busting, or boot worship, or whatever.

I know that there was a little cheating to make it more intersting -- the scenes tended to be more extreme, and sometimes ball busting (or whatever) looked more severe on camera than it really was.

But it was still rooted in at least the idea of people being together and doing something together. And this was underscored a bit by people who would post, sometimes, about wanting filming slaves for videos, or whatever.

The clips that come out of a site like HumiliationPOV are different -- they're mostly of women looking at the camera telling the viewer that he sucks. A lot of times they plug into the reality of what's going on -- that the guy is a loser who gets off watching clips exactly like the one he's watching now.

One set of videos is about face to face interaction, and even if you're afraid to do it yourself, it's still sort of aspirational -- you sort of think, boy, I wish I could do that.

The other set of videos is about the act of watching videos -- they tell you, this is who you are, this is your life, you should lean into this, by buying all of my videos and sending me money.

Again, for me, the big divide is between a scene that's organized around the idea of face to face interactions, vs. a scene that's organized around the idea of isolation and disconnectedness.

Early on -- I think this must have been in the late 80s -- I started to see a domme regularly. And it was like, she was cool with, and enjoyed, all of this stuff that I had been keeping secret, that I was ashamed of. And it was like -- there was nothing wrong with her, she was really beautiful, and very smart, and she had a great education. So it was sort of this liberating thing.

I don't feel like this other stuff operates in the same way in people's lives.

Or, at least, not in mine.