Originally Posted By wllwrk4spankings
I've always been drawn to the therapeutic aspects of BDSM. The possibility of catharsis, letting go of stress and hurts, and the post-session feeling of peace and contentment has always been present for me (to greater or lesser extent).


When I initially became more seriously involved in BDSM, it was about exploring my body and mind and what was hot and sexy and fun and got me off, but as time has gone on I have became very aware and appreciative of it's therapeutic qualities, and that I personally have and continue to use it as a form of therapy, just like any other kind.

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Having said that, I am aware there are cautionary markers: if you feel burdened by something that consumes you, professional counseling may be more appropriate.


I very much agree. While there are a few of us Dommes who have actual psychological education and training, most do not, and are not equipped to handle more than some general counseling.

Even for those of us who might be able to sit you down and provide therapy, it's in your best interest to see someone who you do not have an erotic relationship with. When this is a component of a relationship it can create what's called "transference" (and for Dommes the complement is "counter-transference") which can affect perception and motivation and mess up your healing process.


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Also, I don't want to contribute to the perception that those involved in BDSM are somehow psychologically damaged people who are simply acting out neurotic behavior via paddles and whips.


While it's true that there are people involved in BDSM who are psychologically damaged and abuse others, it's no different that in any other subculture -- including "vanilla".

Plenty of vanilla relationships have deeply traumatized people acting out destructive and criminal behaviors. So do people in corporate settings. And construction. And fast food. And medicine.

Humans are often emotionally damaged in some form, and many of them aren't involved in BDSM. So the whole attempt to say that an interest in BDSM says something about your character or morality or life experience is projection not fact.


Edited by Mistress Tissa (07/30/19 09:16 PM)