I'm sure we've all had crushes on people we know we shouldn't. But, by seeking out a Domme that looks like her so you can role play what it would be like to submit to her seems an unlikely way to move past this fixation. Instead, it may lead to a reinforcement that could turn into obsession.

Second, in my not so limited experience, there is not much of a correlation between a woman's behavior in the public sphere and their predilection for the D-side of DS. Women who act "spoiled and pampered" (as you put it) or seem to exhibit more stereotypical Domme traits (e.g. assertiveness, condescension, superiority, commanding nature) in the public sphere may or may not have an interest in BDSM in their private lives. In my experience, fantastic Dommes are just as likely to be fun-loving, kind and considerate in their day-to-day interactions outside a scene or life-style relationship as they are to exhibit those stereotypical traits.

For example, in high school (eons ago) I sought out and dated the most controlling and prone to anger woman I could find. After dating for a while and during an intimate setting I worked up the courage to ask her to dominate me. She had absolutely no interest and she commanded me to be normal. It was mortifying, lol. Strangely, we did stay together for a while.

My point is that it's easy to project your desires onto someone you're attracted to.

My advice would actually be to find a fantastic Domme who looks nothing like this woman. Develop a strong Ds connection with her based on her own merits so that you can get over your crush and not risking making a family situation weird.

Best of luck.