Originally Posted By AspX
Honestly, I was thinking about that when I was posting that reply... Which is why I enjoy these kinds of conversations, because it makes me examine things rather than just live with it. So thank you Mistress Tissa.


You're welcome. smile

Originally Posted By AspX
being a sub actually already feels like I am playing a role rather than it being my natural state. But, it still feels real to me. If, instead of sinking into my subbiness I have to be something else it just doesn't click.


Power exchange and the psychology thereof is a passion of mine. I could talk at length about what might be going on for you, but I'll keep it brief.

If being submissive feels performed, they it's likely you're either not finding the right conditions by which you can naturally relinquish control or you actually aren't really interested in submission.


Originally Posted By AspX
The other explanation is that when I submit ... I tend to lose the ability to talk when I do have to do so, it actually takes me further away from subspace rather than pushing me towards it. So, role play... which usually involves active interaction and acting... thinking and talking... just engages parts of my brain that get in the way of where I want to go while playing.


The conditions by which someone feels submissive (or Dominant) and moves them into sub- or Domspace can be very specific to that person.

Roleplay is something that can come very naturally to some people. For others, it can be a very awkward and uncomfortable -- to the point of being a turn-off.

You mention interaction and acting. It often does involve that, but it doesn't have to. I can be a "kidnapper" and demand silence from you the entire time. You can just slip into the fantasy, have your subjective experience, while I more demonstrably embody my role.

So, actual issues here may be that speaking interferes with how you understand and experience your own process of surrender, and that you may just need to do very particular types of roleplays.

There's also the possibility that what you understand "submission" to be and what it actually is are at odds.


Edited by Mistress Tissa (02/14/19 03:26 AM)