Originally Posted By spike4848
I looked at Fetlife Classified quickly and it was mostly male doms looking for female subs or rarely a female domme looking for a 20 to 30 year old sub. I am an active, healthy and young looking 50 year old. Is there any hope for me to find someone?


Hi, Spike.

Here's the reality about finding a "lifestyle" Dominant woman:

The numbers are against you.

While I think there are more Dominant women than people realize, they're not all going to be kinky. And those that are may not be into *your* kinks. Then, those that are may already be in a relationship. Those that aren't have to be looking. And then we need to look at what those that looking are looking for. Relationship? Play partner?

So, let's turn this into some imaginary and not real statistical numbers. We'll use 100 because it's easy. We'll assume that the women are heterosexual in some capacity.

100 women
40 are Dominant, in some capacity (i.e. they may be switches)
20 of those are kinky, in some capacity
8 of those are single
5 of those are looking
4 want a more serious relationship
1 wants a play partner

Now, let's look at the men.
100 men
40 are submissive, in some capacity
32 of those are kinky, in some capacity
20 of those are single
18 of those are looking
8 want a serious relationship
10 want a play partner

When comparing the two you can quickly see that you have a 10 men looking for a play partner versus 1 women. Again, this is hypothetical and not based on real statistical data.

That 1 woman has her choice of 10 guys.

Gentlemen, you have competition. Desire is not enough.

I can tell you that just trying to find a woman online who wants to play with you or date you is going to have worse odds than if you actually make an effort to meet someone in person.

So, find your local groups. Go to munches and play parties. Meet people. Befriend them. And maybe you will be able to find someone who will *consider* playing with you.

Can you see why the professional Dominant is so vital to the fabric of our society? wink


Edited by Mistress Tissa (12/20/23 12:31 AM)