HA!!! Fooled another one...


Sometimes when I try to make an analogy, it does confuse things so I apologize for that but let me try again in a more precise way. Outside of here, others messaged you and here is what occurred:

1. You made statements in the thread about starting your own video production company (with no experience)
2. People, amateur or professional, had tips and ideas on how to make what you were doing better
3. You acknowledged those ideas, integrated them into your thoughts and (I hope) thanked the people who DM'd you

In the thread, here is what happened:

1. You, as an amateur, asked for help in getting video opportunities
2. The Dommes, as seasoned professionals, replied with tips on how to make what you were trying to accomplish including their own methods for bringing in subs
3. Instead of acknowledging those ideas and integrating them into your thoughts (agreeing with some, rejecting others as you did with the DM's), you tried to discuss alternatives to the things that the Dommes said including questioning whether their tried and true methods were correct.

My statement about false equivalency was when you tried to draw an equivalency between the two situations by stating that you were open-minded and accepted the suggestions from others but the Dommes did not. Which is factually accurate but that doesn't mean the context of the open-mindedness was the same. In the DMs, your context was of someone just thinking about starting out and listening to ideas to sharpen your own. In the thread, the Dommes context was of experts who were already providing you with information and you, as an amateur questioned their methods.



Let's take this idea forward. Walk into a Morton's or a Ruth Chris Steakhouse (or any other successful high-end restaurant with a well-established menu) and suggest that instead of hiring chefs with degrees from culinary institutes they could just use a line-cook from McDonalds that night. After all its just beef and if the service doesn't work out that night, no biggie because it just cost them one night.

Or, go into an Art Gallery and suggest that instead of them showing pieces from well-established artists that they have studied and found to be of the quality they desire to let you and some buddies throw some paint on a canvas and see if it sells.

Or, instead of having auditions to play a homeless guy in a major motion picture you suggest to the producer to just grab that guy off the corner because he actually is homeless.

Would the Restauranteur, Art Gallery Owner or Movie Producer be "missing out" because they are not open to the random suggestions of someone with no experience in their industry and who doesn't understand the personal business model that has made them successful at what they do? As a t-shirt once said, "Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out your head".

Could the McDonald's fry cook make a proper steak? Sure, its possible. Could you and some buddies make "art" that actually sells in an art gallery by making random splotches of paint on a canvas, yea... it could. Could the homeless guy on the corner turn out to be the next Samuel L. Jackson (who was homeless at one point, I believe), its possible.

However, each of these businessmen (like Domina M and Mistress Ayn in this thread) have tried different ideas in the past (some of which may match your suggestions exactly) and found the right formula for them. So, when an amateur starts throwing suggestions around to someone in that position, it is insulting. That is just human nature.



This is D/s... since when did fairness for a sub become a thing?

I understand you were trying to have a conversation and make that point, but you were doing it in direct response to them so it seemed like you were questioning the way they did business. Sometimes a person's reaction is just in the way things are phrased. If instead of responding to them with the statement, you had started a different thread asking if anyone knew of Dommes that would be willing to try you out as a video slave under the circumstances you desired then I think it would have had a very different outcome.

As for businesses needing to be "fair", that is in the eye of the beholder. I will change gears to a different analogy/situation that I feel is relevant and hopefully it will not confuse the situation further. One of the Dommes that I have had a long-term relationship with had a policy that she would never see anyone without a deposit. She was adamant about that. At that time, I didn't do deposits because it really wasn't feasible without revealing personal information (this was many years ago).

She traveled to the area on tour and I saw her ad. I contacted her and the deposit thing came up. I explained my reasons for not doing that and apologized for taking up her time. As it turns out, I got amazingly lucky because someone had just cancelled on her for the time in question and she had sessions around it already so she decided "WTF" there was really no risk if I didn't show up, so she relaxed her policy. However, that was purely her decision based on her circumstance and not because I was negotiating or claiming a deposit wasn't "fair" for me.

You may take the point of this to be that because she was open-minded and decided to take a chance, she ended up with me as one of her long-term subs (debatable whether that was a good or bad thing for her, but that is another discussion ). However, my point is she had all the power and control in that situation so she could have just said no. What is "fair" to each party in that situation is irrelevant, it is whether you are willing to hold firm to your established protocols and principles or to negotiate on a certain point. For my own reasons, I wouldn't have deposited even though it was perfectly "fair" for me to do so. For her own reasons she wouldn't have accepted the booking, even though it turned out to be a good decision for her to do so, if her circumstances didn't dictate that she had nothing to lose. Therefore, the best outcome in this situation turned out to be the one that wasn't actually fair.



Now we are seriously veering off-topic and into deep philosophy, so I will dip my toe into it (I, like you, enjoy discussions like this). We come at things from very different starting points. I agree that humans are driven by selfishness but I don't separate the greed you hate in others from the selfishness you showed in your business. Both the business owner who won't hire someone when they don't need more workers to get the job done and you hiring someone who needs a job even though you don't need another worker are acting from the same sense of self-interest that motivates all of us.

The difference in my philosophy starts with motives. The "bad" business owner is motivated by profit first and foremost. Since that is their motive, it is in their self-interest to keep their costs as low as possible while charging the maximum amount of money they can get for their goods and services (this is known as capitalism). However, your motive wasn't purely profit driven. Instead, it was to help people out while making a living for yourself and your family. Therefore, your motive was to make yourself feel better by helping these other people who needed a job. It was just as selfish to do so because it was in more in your self-interest to give than receive.

The outward impact to those around you is very different but the human motivation behind it is exactly the same in my opinion. That is self-interest, and therefore selfishness, in the decisions we all make on a day-to-day basis. The problem with the world as you put it, is a base misunderstanding that having and receiving once your needs are met is actually more in your self-interest than the unfathomable gifts you actually get by taking care of others (here we go with Maslow again).




Hey, I've got no problem with that. If I was ever to appear on camera (and I have had many, many opportunities that I have turned down) then I would never have paid anything so I am totally on your side on the actual issue and the validity of what you think is fair. In fact, I never even planned on being behind a camera until the Domme I mentioned earlier decided that I should run her camera while sissified and with weights hanging from my balls that "I better not let clank together and ruin her content".

Talk about being motivated to learn how to shoot with a steady hand...