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since the actual equivalent situation would be if you met the DMd suggestions with ways that the person who provided them to you should do things differently.


AspX, you are very articulate and detail-oriented, and I very much appreciate your clarity of thought and your intelligence. But I fail to understand the above words. Can you please re-phrase?

As far my understanding goes, the people who DM'ed me are not working with me and have not ever worked with me in any kind of team or collaborative way -- and yet, I have been open to their suggestions. To put it less harshly than I did in my previous post, anyone who is not open to suggestions and is convinced that their established order is the best is, well, potentially missing out, sometimes a lot! I can stretch my imagination and list all the ways people have lost so much by NOT appreciating or supporting me -- and I am referring to my life in general. Now, some of those people look back and regret it; but, it's too late now.

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Domina M and Mistress Ayn both came into this thread to help YOU with suggestions, as well as providing you knowledge of their process, and you met that with statements about how THEY should "improve".


No, this is only partially true. Yes, it was their intention to help. I will agree with that. But my suggestions were not directed towards them in particular. They were general suggestions for anyone who demands a tribute-paid session as an "audition" when a security deposit makes much more sense. It may be true that they perceive no need to do this because they are able to find subs willing to do things according to the established order, but that does not make it fair. If fairness is irrelevant, then I personally will have no part with such businesses and individuals. Other people can do what they want. Regardless of others' opinions, I personally DO place value on an no-mask slave (as Domina M herself apparently did years ago). I also place a huge value on fairness and ethics in any business.

When fairness and ethics are irrelevant, then that is rooted in selfishness -- which, you cannot deny honestly speaking, is a major contributor to all of the planet's problems. The "what's in it for me" question continuously raised is a valid one, but what I contest is the fact that the vast majority of people ONLY think of their own benefit with no regards to the other side.

There are very few people on this planet who think like me. This is actually something for me to be proud of, regardless of the tiny frustrations occasionally caused by being the "black sheep". I believe that service-to-self should be balanced with service-to-others in a voluntary (non-coercive) way. Let me give you another example. Years ago, I had my own small business in a nearby town. I used to hire people sometimes even when I didn't "need" any more staff. Why? To support them because I was able to see that they were struggling to find jobs. How many people can say that honestly? Usually, businesses say, "Sorry, but we don't need additional staff at this time" but then they put up a big "Now Hiring" sign when and only when they need people. Those people who I hired, by the way, still remember me with love over a decade later. smile

I think this selfishness is animalistic, and unfortunately humans have not yet evolved much beyond this. I am aware of the truth that separation is an illusion. You and I are as separate as your right hand is to your left hand. But the hands have lost consciousness of their mutual connection (via the body between). That is how most of us live our lives -- in the illusion of separation. This illusion has a very useful purpose; it allows us to experience life from an individual finite-awareness point of view, and also allows us to express Infinity in our own unique way. If this illusion was not there, subs would not have any desires to be dominated, nor would dommes have any desire to whip a sub -- and this would affect our relationships as well. BUT, the awareness that separation is but an useful illusion is so uplifting. I actually have fun with it.

I no longer fight "enemies", but rather, whenever I oppose anyone about anything, I am merely playing with the rest of myself. This offers a very peaceful feeling.

I know it seems I am getting way off topic, but I just wanted to express myself. I'm actually having fun right now arguing with you -- not to annoy you, but simply to engage with you (another aspect of myself). A like-minded woman who is a student of the same spiritual school I am of, greeted me on Facebook recently by saying, "Welcome, my mirror!" She gets it!

I used to feel like pressing the gas pedal and hitting the brakes at the same time because I perceived a "conflict" between my spiritual interests and Femdom interests. I even thought about giving up Femdom back in 2013. But I'm still here. Now, I see no conflict. I see my submissive desires and submission to dommes as a valuable expression as any other.

With all this said, even selfishness is a type of expression. So I guess it's all fair in the ultimate sense. But I personally do not resonate with some ways of doing things. I have never really fit in and now, I don't even want to fit in! LOL

Also, I very much resonate with the policies of businesses such as American Mean Girls who require a $100 security deposit. There are few others as well, mostly in the western part of the United States.

It's getting late, but soon I will be posting my appreciation for three dommes in a separate thread. I believe this is a big deal, and so I'll talk about it.