Just to re-confirm, you're asking about everyday life encounters -- "lifestyle" femdom rather than for-pay.

It is interesting that you've encountered so many people that separate femdom and sex in lifestyle. For me it's been the opposite: sex and femdom are almost always intermingled in lifestyle. That does not mean that the domme doesn't have a choice as to whether there will be sex, and what type. And chastity often features in lifestyle, which means the sex will more often be him servicing her. But sexual interactions are virtually always part of lifestyle femdom IME, and also in my experience, this complete separation of the two is much more common to pro dommes and pro domme clients

I am very much in this mode. I feel femdom and sex are two intermingled things, like a tapestry. For me, pull out either thread, and the tapestry falls apart. Asking "if you had to choose one, which would it be" just doesn't compute for me; it has to be both, and I've never had to choose between them, except with pro dommes. That's the reason why, even when I'm looking for for-pay rather than lifestyle encounters, I only sometimes choose pro dommes, but more often choose femdom with FBSM providers, strippers, and in the past few years I've been enjoying exploring the sugar scene with femdom sugarbabies (this is an awesome dynamic and has attributes of both lifestyle and for-pay, and the femdom is definitely sexual)