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#1541 - 06/24/16 12:59 PM
Re: Consensual Non-consent: Giving Up Safewords
[Re: wllwrk4spankings]
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Regular
Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 127
Loc: California
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I've always understood the "I have NO control" appeal of no-safeword play, but also thought that this was a pretty cut-and-dry issue: YOU are responsible for your own safety, and if you relinquish that, you deserve whatever happens, dummy.
As so often happens, life is more shades of gray. In fact, I never had a safeword with my mistress, who I serve in a lifestyle capacity. I mentioned to her early on that "we forgot to set up a safeword", she smiled and told me I don't get one, and that was all it took for me to just give up my earlier principle of "safeword required, no exceptions". But, I have two things goings for me:
1. I'm expressive and she's intuitive. When I'm reaching my limit I make it very obvious, and she stops, and that's that. So, even though there isn't a formal safeword, there IS a particular behavior that I display that always causes her to change the play. Consent-wise, it serves the exact same function as a safeword; psychologically, it still "feels" like I don't have a safeword, and that's thrilling.
2. My pain limit is moderate at best, so even if she were a little slow recognizing the signs (which she never is), I tend to have a lot of room before any real physical damage is caused. Some of you guys do edgier/riskier activities and have higher/riskier pain tolerances, so don't have the safety margin I do.
Edited by Swordfish (06/24/16 01:00 PM)
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