Wishing doesn't make it so. Learned that a long time ago.

While I have some problems with the idea of BDSM as a hardwired "orientation" I don't go to the opposite extreme and view it as a taste anyone can grow to appreciate.

"When i tell both men and women in my personal life about my interest in BDSM. Its met with a neutral response at worst but most often interest in how to get involved. And many people tell me they wish they could do something like that"

In my experience things are more complicated. I have noted in several threads that I am a switch. I have played from both sides over the years. One thing I have discovered is that among straight women there seem to 4 groups of roughly equal size:

1] Those who are either doing it already or constantly fantasizing about it. However 3/4 of this group are subs

2] Those willing to do it in order to indulge a lover

3] Those not willing to do it but are not judgmental. Sometimes they say things like, "that's cool but it's not for me".

4] Those who get upset when they learn that you are into it.

As for straight men there are a lot of what I like to call "weak tops" They indulge in some occasional maledom activities but only as a secondary adjunct to spice up vanilla sex acts never as a substitute. Men who are submissive are fewer in number but their kink is often as strong if not stronger than their vanilla desires.