I was wondering if others have any aspects of BDSM play or certain specific activities that they love but hate at the same time. Something that you are powerfully drawn to but find very challenging or even unpleasant while they are happening?

For me it's having a session continue after I am brought to climax and being forced to endure until I am able to be aroused again. I'm one of those people for whom enjoyment of BDSM play is directly connected to sexual arousal and for whom that enjoyment evaporates instantly with orgasm. The times I have negotiated a CNC component to a session to allow for this to happen have been very intense. The anticipation leading up to the session is all consuming and not long after the memories become very erotic. Even the second portion of the session after 'recovery" seems somehow more intense and vivid. Yet, while it is happening, it is very much a "what the hell was I thinking" sort of thing.

I know I'm going to hate that part of the session and yet I keep getting drawn to it. Anyone else have experience with this sort of dichotomy?