Ive had several dommes over the years tell me that dating is difficult.
Jealousy, finding a partner who approves, doesnt want to change their career choice etc all tie into it.

That is always sad to hear.

Most have also told me they would enjoy kink in a relationship but dont want to be a lifestyle domme to a real life partner. Perhaps its like the chef who doesn't want to cook at home?

In my opinion, not at all. It is like a chef you likes to enjoy her own kitchen but doesn't want to come home and cater a banquet. A lot of people, including clients, like fetish "Play," but desire to have a traditional life. 24/7 isn't for everyone. Some of us just want to get our freak on now and then.

My current Domme says she doesn’t want to date and that she is meeting her emotional, physical, and financial needs through work. She is young and perhaps that is true for now but i worry she is missing out in a relationship long term.

It changed for me. When I was a young and very busy dom there was simply to time or desire for dating. I was having so much fun at work that, for years, I didn't miss it. When I started missing a relationship, I became more open to dating and ended up in long term serious relationship with someone I had meet as a Club Dom member. Hopefully, your dom, too, will just naturally start dating when it is right for her.

From what i hear from my female friends dating men in general is a complete nightmare of weirdos both in vanilla and kink life. (I dont know what is wrong with us men)

I can't imagine what it would be like to be meeting people through dating sites, even taking the prodom aspect out of it. It isn't just you men who are weirdos. One of my male friends has been dating through meeting people on sites for a few years now. He's met some really cool ladies...but, some of them....whoa....there have been a few nutty ones, to the point that it like something you'd see in a comedic movie.

I do have a very cool pro relationship going on right now.

That awesome. :-)

I dont know why i never considered dating in the fetish scene. Perhaps it was a lack of confidence or knowledge. When i was younger i didnt have the maturity to pull it off anyway. I think a lot has to do with the fact that i wanted some kink but not 24/7 and didnt know how to communicate that. Its probably one of the biggest misfires of my life.

You'd be surprised how many scene folks want the same thing, both women and men. A couple of my friends have been talking about starting a dating site that is specifically for people who want kink in their life but not to the point that it defines the relationship. I was skeptical of what kind of people it would draw. But, when you look it at from the point of view that there are goofballs in every crowd, maybe it will work and even be a viable option for prodoms.