This is a struggle that I've seen a lot of men face. I feel strongly that it makes a man a better husband to get his kink out here and there. What are the options? To be cranky and distracted or jeopardize a healthy marriage by trying to push kink onto a vanilla spouse? The money aspect, I can understand. For a married couple on a budget, a little splurge here and there doesn't seem to be a bad thing as long as you encourage her to do it too. Perhaps, surprising her with a trip to the day spa or whatever it is that she enjoys?