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#13177 - 01/31/21 02:20 PM
Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema
[Re: jacky b]
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Enthusiast
Registered: 08/15/19
Posts: 247
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i've been torn by this forever! Want to be a faithful partner, and as i couldn't bring SO over to the kinks i like, what can i do? Guilt, guilt, guilt! i also get the feeling that "vanilla women" who find out a male is submissive, look at them as a "wimp" and not a sexy & strong man they'd want to be with and/or get turned on by.
Any thoughts would be welcome, and would sure like to live without the guilt. I feel you on the guilt. And if its any consolation i am guessing a lot of us do. I try to justify it by saying this is something i really need and when i look back on life i will be happier that i did it. It doesnt relieve the guilt but it helps to rationalize it for me. These are tough conversations to have with a partner and in many ways has led to me staying single. I have found that a kink friendly professional therapist can help with those feelings. I too have fought the perception that submissive men are wimps. Nothing wrong with that if that is your thing. But i enjoy filling what many would consider traditional male roles even though i an submissive. Things like cutting down trees, working on cars, and staining decks. I also work very hard to provide financially in a relationship. Im no pushover either. Ive been involved in a few long term relationships with pro dommes. Im an equal partner in the decision making even i am still the submissive. That to me leads to be viewed as sexy and strong even if i am submissive. It doesn't work for everyone but it works for me and the women i do this with.
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