Wow. I don't know how you did it. Frankly, there aren't many Dommes that could have written the inner workings of the scene and their mind this articulately (myself included) - and I don't even think English is your first language, if I remember correctly.

Yes, I get it that every Domme won't resonate with every aspect of it, but the article largely "gets it".

And finally, someone actually said it correctly:
"Moreover, if my hourly rate may seem so important, it is precisely because I cannot work like this for eight hours a day."

I've seen Dommes engage the question of why rates are set where they are and they usually talk about risks, overhead, etc. but seldom does anyone address the elephant in the room. If I do 10 hours of sessions in a week, I am exhausted and can't keep up that pace. Yes, we may bill the rate of an attorney but we can't pad the bill with a 50 hour work week. Then there is the longevity issue. We have to set back money for retirement and investment. On top of that there are self-employment taxes, health insurance, etc - all of which we pay fully because we are self-employed. At the end of the day, most Dommes aren't living like most professions that bill at $300+ per hour. So the resentment of "you bill what my doctor bills and you didn't go through 6 years of medical school" is moot. I would love to shout that to the roof tops.

Maybe the best paragraph of all is this one:

"Even among the clients I accept to welcome, it is not always easy. There is the one who starts to grumble when giving me his envelope at the third session, thus sending me a message. This other man, a little too lonely, who thinks I am his partner and sends me many messages, drunk from finally finding acceptance from a woman. Or, the director's cut version of this client, so insecure that I have to overreact so that he hears that yes, I want to see him again, and that no, he hasn't "disappointed" me. The submissives with whom the session goes well, then will send me an e-mail even more precise than a thesis in nuclear engineering to tell me (order me?) their expectations for the next session, if not to tell me what I didn't do well enough in the last one."

Then the following paragraph about the ones we really like that end up ghosting . . . Spot on.

The only thing that really didn't resonate with me was the lack of social acceptance. Maybe it's because I became a pro at an age where I was less concerned about what others thought. Maybe it's because I have surrounded myself with kinky friends. I got the most flack from family and oddly enough - BDSM lifestyles - but in the end I chose not to care.

I am going to reveal a bit about myself here by saying that I don't know how anyone does this job without a supportive significant other. I know it's most client's fantasy that we are all unattached and therefore available, but really, why would we be? If we are so damned fantastic and desirable, why wouldn't some equally desirable person have already snagged us? An escort once told me that the hardest part of the job was going home and being alone. I died a little inside when she told me that.

Anyway, kudos to you on an excellent article. That degree of understanding should make you a wonderful client. I would love to experience that if you ever make it to Atlanta.
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Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

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