I've been thinking a lot this year about my first few BDSM sessions "in a land long ago and far away" - 1974 Manhattan. I found out about the scene via Screw Magazine and its escorts listing as a college kid. I began to check out the BDSM section and there was a mature, "exotic" (turned out to be Jewish) domina whose small ad and black & white pic turned me on. I hadn't had a date in a year or so. I nervously called the ad. She answered and spoke so assertively and in such a sexy manner I was transfixed. We talked about the role play I'd like. I made an appointment.

Without giving a "blow by blow" experience the hour or so I spent with this woman was an education. She was late 40s, I was 21, and she taught me things I'm turned on by even today. She enjoyed herself with me in ways, she said, "Don't ever tell anyone what I did." LOL!

There was no script, no anticipation that we would do "this or that." It was extemporaneous, like a jazz rift. I acted like she hired me to entertain HER, and it was a wise lesson. That's how I approached every session I've ever had. For 90, 95% of the sessions I've had with that approach, you get as much or more, than you give... and you both enjoy yourselves.