Because of my interest in cnc, I'm pretty aware of that aspect. In other words, it's fair to wonder - do I seek a predator/prey scene because I want it to trigger/excuse a resentment or loathing for women; to make Her be the predator so I can hate her for it.

I don't feel anything of the sort. But the Mistress is right to wonder if I do. CNC can be incredible (as you would know). But only if everyone involved is there to explore rather than to validate some ugly notions of the other. (I have been on the receiving end of those notions as well; live and learn.)

I know some guys don't like deposits. But I really won't see anyone who doesn't take deposits. More think-time goes into it to work out basic chemistry and yes's, maybe's, and definitely not's. And to let each other feel confident that we are both coming at this from a fairly good place.

I will normally start by proposing a non-refundable think-time fee. If the session never happens, so be it. But it's not foot worship. She has to spend some time thinking about it, planning it, and considering the person inquiring about it and his motives. Assuming that should be a free service is wrong on every level.

As to our recent ship in the night, it never seemed that the veneer of respect went very deep with him. Some people think they want to be understood, but what they really want is attention and indulgence. People who wait til you're done speaking to be polite rather than because they are listening to you. He was one of those. His communication will always be asymmetrical. When it didn't go his way, the facade of mutual respect fell away like a kabuki mask. Because there never was any actual respect. Just some social convention that could be discarded at a moment's notice. As it was.

I don't at all envy Dommes for having to suss out who's kink is mixed up with smoldering anger and resentment. It's woven into my scene approach though.