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#8543 - 12/01/19 05:15 PM Re: BDSM as therapy... BS or real? [Re: Kneel4Her]
The Thomas Online   content
Addict

Registered: 10/20/15
Posts: 430
Originally Posted By Kneel4Her



I've recently had that thought and was a bit confused by it. Interesting that it is a common fantasy... I wonder why that is.




Good question. Off the top of my head I am going to guess that it has to do with the Punishment Vibe. I will point out that it is a cliche in spanking fiction which makes it seem easier to accomplish than is the case.

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#8563 - 12/03/19 05:34 PM Re: BDSM as therapy... BS or real? [Re: AspX]
Mistress Tissa Online   content

Addict

Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 683
Loc: Philadelphia
Originally Posted By AspX
Several Dominants with psychology degrees or backgrounds have started to frame sessions in a therapeutic context. Below is an article from The UK about this practice:
BDSM as therapy


It's important not to use "therapeutic" and "therapy" synonymously.

You can be stressed, have sex, and feel better afterwards. That's therapeutic.

You can have a problem, such as a trauma that created lasting psychological effects, and see a person who consciously applies treatment modalities with the goal of transforming those effects. That's therapy.

So, yes, anything we do can be therapeutic, including kink. But that doesn't make it therapy.

Can it be therapy? I think it's possible. The problem is that one's healing process can easily be undermined by making it erotic (you're practically asking for transference, for one). It's why ethical regulations in the professional practice of psychology say you can't do the sexy with your patients.


Quote:
as a sub, I have always felt BDSM was sexual rather than therapeutic and when I start hearing a Domme talk about healing crystals and Shakras in conjunction with this "therapy", I admit to internal "eye-rolling” at the discussion.


Why roll your eyes, Asp? If you aren't interested in how people may use their sexuality as a means to heal then simply disregard them.

Quote:
So, my question to the board is whether this idea of including elements of BDSM into therapy is a valuable use or just Dominants trying to feel more legitimate than they do if it is classified as just "sex work"?


The truth is that it is valuable to people. It may not be to you, or others reading this, but using BDSM as a tool for healing has created tangible change for people.

And as far as trying to legitimize sex work: I personally like to somewhat normalize the erotic trade, reduce the fear and stigma around it, and find ways to help people relate to it. I believe this will help get certain activities decriminalized.

One way to do this is to get people to understand that what sex workers do isn't just tits and dicks and fucking and cum (or whips and chains and whatever else people think we do), but it includes companionship, intimacy, acceptance (sometimes radically so), and even forms of love. Sure, for some it is just getting off, but I bet that most people -- especially those who are more serious participants -- would say that it's helped them feel better in a multitude of ways.


Edited by Mistress Tissa (12/03/19 05:35 PM)

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#8565 - 12/03/19 09:54 PM Re: BDSM as therapy... BS or real? [Re: Mistress Tissa]
junglebeast Online   content
Addict

Registered: 06/15/19
Posts: 424
What "sex workers" do should be decriminalized. I have made love to many of the women I have paid to see, and in many instances it didn't focus on "tits and dicks and fucking and cum (or whips and chains and whatever else people think we do)" as you so eloquently put it, Mistress Tissa.

There is an obvious need for sex workers of all types in society, thousands of years ago and today. It is part of the human condition.

I have paid for the privilege to meet and experience ladies who would be considered by the outside world escorts, massusses, BDSM dominas, escort/dominas, female bodybuilders... you name the classifications. I met plenty. More than my share. All of them, in their own ways, were physically gorgeous. I walked out on a few. I got a bad vibe. The overwhelming majority were nice people, many with a great deal of empathy. (Maybe because I always turned to more mature ladies, mostly over 30 years old and beyond, who had experienced the world.)

This is a very intimate line of work. A barber, hairdresser, nurse or doctor is pretty intimate, but BDSM? Escort or fetish work? That jumps the shark. If you do the experience correctly you are opening up your soul to the lady. And, if you put yourself in the mindset that you are there to pleasure Her, she may open up part of her soul to you.

We need wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, grandparents, etc., etc. but based on history we need sex workers. They provide a service that fulfills a need, dare I say a therapy, that makes the world function such as it is. To continue to have sex workers demeaned and put in the shadows is bad for them and bad for society as a whole. Just sayin'...

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#8566 - 12/04/19 04:30 AM Re: BDSM as therapy... BS or real? [Re: Mistress Tissa]
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
Originally Posted By Mistress Tissa

The truth is that it is valuable to people. It may not be to you, or others reading this, but using BDSM as a tool for healing has created tangible change for people.

And as far as trying to legitimize sex work: I personally like to somewhat normalize the erotic trade, reduce the fear and stigma around it, and find ways to help people relate to it. I believe this will help get certain activities decriminalized.

One way to do this is to get people to understand that what sex workers do isn't just tits and dicks and fucking and cum (or whips and chains and whatever else people think we do), but it includes companionship, intimacy, acceptance (sometimes radically so), and even forms of love. Sure, for some it is just getting off, but I bet that most people -- especially those who are more serious participants -- would say that it's helped them feel better in a multitude of ways.


As usual when we converse, we are in agreement in general but it is splitting hairs and language where we disagree. I don't despute the psychological benefits that many experience through BDSM play. It is tangible and real.

My issue is with those who try to make D/s about therapy alone to justify, or elevate, what they do above those who do it for the purpose that most of us session for. I believe that is because they don't see value in D/s as a valid sexual orientation abd therefore need this kind of thing to validate what they offer.

That is where my problem (and eye rolling) comes from... Not as a questioning of the healingb power of BDSM play in certain situations.
_________________________
Asp


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