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#7900 - 10/28/19 04:01 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Kevin_Hayes Offline
Artisan

Registered: 09/30/19
Posts: 66
Thanks, you just explained to me what I already know but I appreciate the effort. I disagree with you saying it far exceeds what a lawyer spends on their schooling business etc. There are exceptions but more often than not, this isn't the case from what i've seen in my 28 yrs in the scene. It just ain't the truth. Also, the education a Doc, lawyer or skilled pro musician will more often than not, far exceed the hours a Domme will put in to develop their craft, profession etc. Again, there are some exceptions. The other parts of what you wrote basic "Life 101"( which I don't need a lesson in) which is basically saying life isn't fair. That, I will agree with. Again I will say, I got tired of hearing myself complain about the sad state of the music business and started another business. Life goes on. I have some Fem Dom friends who are super bright, very hard working driven individuals. I also have known a lot of charlatan fuck ups. Same goes my the musicians I've known over the years.


Edited by Kevin_Hayes (10/28/19 08:29 PM)

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#7903 - 10/28/19 06:01 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
alex Offline
Artisan

Registered: 07/05/19
Posts: 57
Loc: NYC
I know that most people don't like findoms, and I'm not trying to change anyone's mind about that.

But there are women in that scene who have been around for a long time, and who always operate under the same, stable, identity, with their own photos, etc.

Not only did this woman steal the photos, her name seems to have been selected to make people think she's another woman who is in the findom scene, and who has been in it for a long time.

I don't think we'd judge more traditional BDSM dommes by what someone who stole a famous woman's identity did. I think that's what's going on here.

Obviously, most of the people on this thread dislike findom, and I'm sure there are good reasons for that. But this particular story doesn't seem like the best argument against that scene.

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#7904 - 10/28/19 06:39 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: alex]
AspX Offline
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1028
Loc: Detroit
Originally Posted By alex
this particular story doesn't seem like the best argument against that scene.



I disagree (although I totaliy respect you and your opinions)... I think this story is the logical conclusion of the way that findoms advertise and act on social media. On the other hand, I 100% agree that many are actually good people who care about the finsubs they take on.

On Twitter you will see me interact and joke around with several who I know... in addition my most intense and personal relationship with a Domme (who absolutely owms a piece of my heart forever) was actually with a FinDom who was very prominent in that scene several years ago (although our relationship had no more to do with financial domination than any other boyfriend/girlfriend relationship does).

However, almost all the things that I think are having a negative effect on D/s in general and Pro Domination specifically come from findom attitudes towards men that they spew all over social media, the fake ass rules they make up and call it FemDom when it isn't, and the fake shit that findoms put out there in regards to their lifestyles and how much they get paid.

This activity has leached over into the FemDom world in so many negative ways because younger Dommes think that findom is actually D/s itself rather than a fetish within it. On the flip side, and I believe this is part of Mistress Ayn's unspoken rant in this thread (that I have actually heard), it has had a very negative effect on younger subs who also have to be retrained by FemDoms into understanding what power exchange actually is about.

My rant is about the culture and the public face of findoms, not necessarily who these established women actually are as people because in that, I totally agree with you.
_________________________
Asp


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#7905 - 10/28/19 07:39 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1289
Loc: Romania
Originally Posted By AspX
On the flip side, and I believe this is part of Mistress Ayn's unspoken rant in this thread (that I have actually heard), it has had a very negative effect on younger subs who also have to be retrained by FemDoms into understanding what power exchange actually is about.


YES!! And traditional FemDom's aren't helping the situation either. Many Dommes I know and respect have now jumped on the findom bandwagon and are offering cash meets and other findom activities and that muddies the water even further. If I had room in my Twitter profile I would add "I don't do cash meets and I am NOT a findom" but I have more important and positive things to say with the limited character profile.
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

Main website: www.mistressayn.com
Content site: www.aynrules.com
Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn

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#7906 - 10/28/19 07:41 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1289
Loc: Romania
Far be it from Me to interrupt your shit. And if you stick that tongue out at Me one more time, young man, I am going to chop it off.
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

Main website: www.mistressayn.com
Content site: www.aynrules.com
Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn

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#7907 - 10/28/19 07:43 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: MsRoseWoods]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1289
Loc: Romania
I keep trying to write an article about Financial Domination for my own blog and everytime I work on it I go down this negative rabbit hole and just give up. *sigh*
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

Main website: www.mistressayn.com
Content site: www.aynrules.com
Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn

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#7908 - 10/28/19 07:58 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1289
Loc: Romania
Very well said, asp. There is only one thing I would add . . .

Dommes can't work (bill) for 8-10 hour days, 5-6 days per week. Yes, I charge what a middling attorney charges per hour while I am in session but he/she can bill that for many more hours a day than I or any other Domme can. First of all there is not the sustainable demand for that many session hours and physically and (especially) mentally it can't be done. Personally I start to feel the mental fatigue at about the 3 hours per day mark, sustained. I might be able to "blow it out" and do 25 hours in one week, but I couldn't (or at least wouldn't want to) do that the next week or the next.

If anyone questions this or wants me to elaborate, just say the word.
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

Main website: www.mistressayn.com
Content site: www.aynrules.com
Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn

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#7909 - 10/28/19 08:13 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: Mistress Ayn]
buffalo Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 357
Loc: USA
I don’t question that at all. I find it very interesting and understand that sessions are intense for the Domme as well as the sub but the Domme has the added responsibility for the safety of the sub and has to remain in control of everything. If you could elaborate more it would be appreciated.
_________________________
And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo

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#7910 - 10/28/19 08:14 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Mistressnumber1 Offline

Occasional

Registered: 06/20/19
Posts: 35
Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
I keep trying to write an article about Financial Domination for my own blog and everytime I work on it I go down this negative rabbit hole and just give up. *sigh*


I believe findom is to Female Domination what Lumpfish roe is to Caviar! grin

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#7911 - 10/28/19 08:19 PM Also [Re: AspX]
Kevin_Hayes Offline
Artisan

Registered: 09/30/19
Posts: 66
In reagards to you implying that I was conflating Pro Dommes and Fin Doms, what part of this did you not get? " I'm not lumping them all into one category but there are some shitty ones out there"

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