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#7882 - 10/27/19 09:16 PM Why I don't trust findoms about anything
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
So, a woman actually gets attacked and posts pics on Facebook to publicize the fact she thinks the police have failed her... The Daily Mail picks up the story and publicizes it in England.

@$&+#@&$+#@ "findom" woman who goes by @ameliagoddessx on Twitter steals the pics and posts this tweet claiming it was her that was attacked and it happened at a cashmeet with a sub.

Financial Domination is a valid kink...

FemDoms who do it as part of their repertoire, do it with the same level of integrity that they do all other FemDom activities...

Randomly meeting some guy you don't know SHOULD always make you take precautions regardless of whether it is in a kink context or not...

However, shit like this (and hundreds of other scammy things) make me immediately disrespect the entire findom community and all women who act like that is what FemDom is about. I absolutely hate everything to do with them because their f'n bullshit makes life much more difficult for all client subs (finsub or not).

For no valid reason, other than trying to make money off of the sympathy of others (mostly finsubs, of course), subs are painted by this shit as dangerous and having something mentally wrong with them. Something we, as male subs, all have to fight against constantly. Even real Pro Dommes who have never had a problem or incident, see shit like this and make their protocols even more difficult for us out of fear of something that they fear could happen to them because "it happened to this woman".

Yes, I am ranting and I don't want this to turn into another debate about what are valid safety protocols, but it is hard for me to express how angry I actually get when I see shit like this. I hope this woman gets rapecancer that spreads to her bones and all her organs which causes her unimaginable pain for the rest of what I hope is a short miserable life.

Asp







p.s. for those of you that don't know... "rapecancer" is not a real thing, it is a placeholder used for whatever the worst thing that can happen to you is without actually naming something that might trigger someone who has gone through that experience.
_________________________
Asp


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#7883 - 10/27/19 09:20 PM Link to original story [Re: AspX]
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
_________________________
Asp


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#7884 - 10/27/19 10:29 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Kevin_Hayes Offline
Artisan

Registered: 09/30/19
Posts: 66
I will say this, there's an argument to be made that some of these men are emotional cripples and these Fin Doms thrive and prey on them. An argument can also be made that we're all responsible for ourselves yadda, yadda as if to justify the shitty actions and thievery of some of these dubious Dommes. I'm not lumping them all into one category but there are some shitty ones out there. Then there are the men who pose as Fem Dommes online and rip people off.


Edited by Kevin_Hayes (10/28/19 12:02 AM)

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#7885 - 10/28/19 12:57 AM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1277
Loc: Atlanta, GA and Romania
Wow. That's about as low as a catfish can get.

Originally Posted By AspX
However, shit like this (and hundreds of other scammy things) make me immediately disrespect the entire findom community and all women who act like that is what FemDom is about. I absolutely hate everything to do with them because their f'n bullshit makes life much more difficult for all client subs (finsub or not).


They make it hard on legitimate ProDomme's too. But don't get me started on that . . .
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

Main website: www.mistressayn.com
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Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn

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#7886 - 10/28/19 04:27 AM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: Kevin_Hayes]
AssSniffer1999 Offline
Artisan

Registered: 12/11/18
Posts: 97
Loc: Connecticut
Originally Posted By Kevin_Hayes
I will say this, there's an argument to be made that some of these men are emotional cripples and these Fin Doms thrive and prey on them. An argument can also be made that we're all responsible for ourselves yadda, yadda as if to justify the shitty actions and thievery of some of these dubious Dommes. I'm not lumping them all into one category but there are some shitty ones out there. Then there are the men who pose as Fem Dommes online and rip people off.


This is what really gets me.
It's not just the catfish findoms who I dislike, men or women who use findomming as an opportunity to run scams, but even the "legitimate" findoms I can't exactly stand.
Maybe it's just play that I can't understand, but you'll see many of them brag about the fact that they can get guys addicted to dropping hundreds of dollars at a time on them, ignoring any of their other financial responsibilities. Brag about the fact that they can get these guys to come back even when they've "given it up" like a bad addiction. And these are the supposedly legitimate findoms and pro-dommes who tweet about their findomming.

It's also just a massive turn-off in general to see dommes begging for money every other tweet, but maybe that's just me.

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#7889 - 10/28/19 07:11 AM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AssSniffer1999]
Kevin_Hayes Offline
Artisan

Registered: 09/30/19
Posts: 66
I with you on all that you mention. There is one in particular who always gloats about Her "accomplishments" and money etc. Now She is doing what could be considered begging because hard financial times to what extent I truly don't know but enough to be asking for money in some sort of fund raiser way that I think should be illegal. I put "accomplishments" in quotes because I don't give a fuck what anyone says, when one sells sex or sex work, the playing field is not level to that of other careers. The entitlement a lot of times isn't either. Sex sells, everyone knows that. I know there's overhead in the BDSM business but the hourly rate is on the level of lawyers and doctors and I seriously doubt the training, schooling, hard work doesn't equal what they have to go thru.

I see some Ladies who work hard at it and are very ethical and I admire them for it, but again, the playing field is not level and that's life, right? I could get into the 10s of thousands of dollars I spent on my education and equipment for pursuing my passion as a career and the pay has in a lot of ways, gotten worse. I've complained about this before on max and I got to a point in my life where I got tired of hearing myself complain about something that will not improve, so I started another business and I'm even working on a 3rd business in addition to my 1 st business, being a musician. Anyway, I got a little off track as I usually do. Lol! A.D.D. perhaps! Lol!


Edited by Kevin_Hayes (10/28/19 07:15 AM)

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#7890 - 10/28/19 08:30 AM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: Mistress Ayn]
MsRoseWoods Online   content

Enthusiast

Registered: 06/17/19
Posts: 271
Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
Wow. That's about as low as a catfish can get.

Originally Posted By AspX
However, shit like this (and hundreds of other scammy things) make me immediately disrespect the entire findom community and all women who act like that is what FemDom is about. I absolutely hate everything to do with them because their f'n bullshit makes life much more difficult for all client subs (finsub or not).


They make it hard on legitimate ProDomme's too. But don't get me started on that . . .


Mistress Ayn, I'd love to see you get started on this topic!

Sometimes I think if I see another cam girl, stripper, wannabe porn star, or third rate baby Domme, begging for someone to pay their supper/bar bill on Twitter. I'll throw myself off the West Cornwall Covered Bridge!

Reason number 6543900000000 why I hate Twitter. mad
_________________________
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

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#7893 - 10/28/19 11:36 AM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: Kevin_Hayes]
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
Originally Posted By Kevin_Hayes
I know there's overhead in the BDSM business but the hourly rate is on the level of lawyers and doctors and I seriously doubt the training, schooling, hard work doesn't equal what they have to go thru.


First of all, let's not conflate findom manipulation (which is a skill.. just a very scummy one) with Pro Dommes and sessioning. The amount of equipment, location & travel expenses, advertising, knowledge of both the human psyche and the physical body that the top of the class Pros build over time easily rivals or exceeds what a lawyer does by taking an extra few years of classes, doing so internship and passing a bar exam at the beginning of their career.

The barriers to entry are much lower, but explain how a lawyer must limit what they eat and how they work out constantly in order to maintain a model's body? How they have to scramble against soceity to even advertise for business... Working hundreds of hours on social media only to have Twitter/Instagram/Tumblr randomly shut down all their work by closing their account. How a lawyer has to pay by the hour or the day to even have a place to work unless they build their own place, which can be raided and everything seized under bs RICO laws.

But, in all honesty, that has nothing to do with the hourly rate. Social workers and teachers have to have as much training as a lawyer to be certified in some states and make nothing compared to them. Anyone can do plumbing and charge $125 an hour, but in order to actually have a legitimate business as a plumber you have to spend years in apprenticeship and tens of thousands of dollars in equipment. How much these people want to make for their effort at getting the proper credentials and having the right equipment doesn't matter.

Is a pro baseball player worth $40 million a year based on the amount of training they did? Are models, actors or rock stars worth what they make based on how much "training, schooling, hard work" they did before landing those choice gigs? Hell no... the difference between a musician who has a real job to pay their bills and a rock star who lives in a mansion is a combination of inspiration and luck, not how much practice and work they did.

For Dommes, its not that sex sells, its about the free market and what matters is what someone is willing to pay someone for their skills. Just like every other field. A Domme can ask for $1000 an hour and if she can convince someone to pay that, then she is worth it. If a Domme only changes $75 an hour, then that is what she is worth (and can probably make more than a teacher or social worker for the same amount of hours). Do you think lawyers and doctors all charge the same rate or that their rates are based on their training? Nope... Its based on what they can get for their skills... Same as all the Dommes we know and love around here and elsewhere (even the scummy-ass findumbs).
_________________________
Asp


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#7895 - 10/28/19 11:38 AM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: Mistress Ayn]
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn


They make it hard on legitimate ProDomme's too. But don't get me started on that . . .


Yea... But that's Your shit and i was being selfish and ranting about my shit instead :p
_________________________
Asp


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#7897 - 10/28/19 01:31 PM Re: Why I don't trust findoms about anything [Re: AspX]
Kneel4Her Offline
Regular

Registered: 10/06/19
Posts: 104
Loc: GA
Originally Posted By AspX
Originally Posted By Kevin_Hayes
I know there's overhead in the BDSM business but the hourly rate is on the level of lawyers and doctors and I seriously doubt the training, schooling, hard work doesn't equal what they have to go thru.


First of all, let's not conflate findom manipulation (which is a skill.. just a very scummy one) with Pro Dommes and sessioning. The amount of equipment, location & travel expenses, advertising, knowledge of both the human psyche and the physical body that the top of the class Pros build over time easily rivals or exceeds what a lawyer does


I think your entire post is spot on Asp, but especially knowing the human psyche and knowledge of the physical body. That is a skill and talent that cannot be underestimated and should not be under valued. Having read about Dommes and experiencing a Domme who are adept at understanding the human psyche leaves me awed. Most days I dont understand people or why they do what they do!

I saw the Twitter post you linked and what she is doing is just sleazy. Unfortunately there are bad apples in every career field. The plus side here is you can do your research and with all the resources on the Internet, you can choose wisely. Spend the time doing research and I would bet 98% of the time you'll find a legitimate professional.

I personally do not understand FinDom as a fetish, but to each their own. This seems to be an area where the importance of doing your homework is paramount. To me, seeing someone on Twitter call subs losers and muppets while demanding these same subs pay their lunch bill is obnoxious. I'm confused as to why anyone would give away their hard earned money to someone who seems to be nothing more than a spoiled brat. Her words and actions do not come across as humiliation, but as mocking denigration towards people. As for what she did, she's a sorry excuse for a human being, and definitely not worthy of being called a Domme.

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