I was wondering if anyone here has seen the film Hustlers, and what they thought of it, if they have.

I kind of feel like the film comes from a women's perspective, and that my take on it is sort of beside the point. I had a fairly strong reaction to the film, but I think that part of the film's overall message is that it's time to tune out perspectives like mine, and focus more on other perspectives.

But, you know, I'm going to give mine anyway.

The main take I have is that the film demonstrates how wide the gulf is between sex workers and clients, and how much genuine animosity there can be between the sides. The men in the film are stupid deeply misogynistic, and the women are basically amoral and exploitative.

This raises many obvious issues for me, a lifelong customer of the sex industry.


Another thing that's kind of specific to me, and affected my take on the film, is that nothing in the film seemed sexy at all.

A lot of people have talked about how the film shows sex work as labor -- that's how it came across to me. I guess it pierced the fantasy bubble. But that played into the first point I made above. There wasn't really anything appealing on the screen -- just a bunch of awful people trying to feed off of each other.

The last thing, which I guess is also kind of specific to me, is that I think the film has given me a new way to explain financial domination.

The film says, basically, this is what sex work is like for many women (I don't think it means to say it's that way for all women). For the customers in the film, that reality is denied, and a fantasy is eroticized.

I think it's too much to say that financial domination eroticizes reality. But the fantasy that is eroticized in findom seems to be closer to reality, at least the reality depicted in the film, than the fantasy the club's customers eroticize.

I mean, financial domination is really sort of saying, the picture of the world of sex work in the film is accurate, and that's what we're going to eroticize. Normal customers in the club deny the manipulation, they pretend the interest and affection coming from the women are real, and they eroticize that fantasy.

In findom there's no pretense that the woman likes you, or that she's not trying to manipulate you. And the contempt the women in the film have for the men they interact with isn't hidden, it's put out in the open. "Hey, this is who you are, and you are, in fact, awful -- that's how I see you."

So it is a kind of end game for my long history as a customer in various contexts. And once you're at that point, it's kind of weird -- where do you go next? Do you just keep doing it, or do you get sick of it and quit? Can you quit? Etc.

Interesting topic. I haven't seen the film or, worked in a strip club. My "Impression" has always been that strip clubs are like casinos. It is all about how to get as much money out of the clients as possible. They guys must know that. It is like me walking into Dave and, Busters or, even taking my kids to an amusement park. It is all about how to get customers to spend as much money as possible. Actually, I'd feel more respected in a strip club or, pretty much anywhere else, than dealing with most airlines.

As far as how this would apply to what I do know, which is professional domination, I tend to think that attitude is rare. Is it there to one degree or, another? Of course. Would a prodom have a lasting career if she did not have genuine regard for her clients? No. Would a client who seeks to take advantage of a prodom's time and, have disingenuous intentions be welcomed back? No. In fact, they'd be branded as "Wankers" and, fall short on the list for all prodoms in the area to session with. So, there is more respect in this line of work than others, be it airlines, strip clubs, ect.

As for the findom, this is something I've never actively practiced. I've been asked on numerous occasions but, could never get my head around it. I did a few sessions once with a man who wanted it to be very clear how wealthy he was. That was a real turn off. He obviously wanted to dangle a carrot in front of a woman's nose and, challenge her to outsmart him. That just wasn't fun for me. As I have heard it from a few of my clients who dabble in it and, a few of my findom friends, it is basically paid for entertainment. If a lady is up for the game and, some of them really seem to enjoy it, I don't see the harm to anyone. It isn't as if the women are seeking out vanilla men to exploit. The men are seeking them out and, I'd guess that after the session, they are onto pizza and, football with their friends. Again, this just comes from a spectator's perspective.

Hmmmm...I've had no desire to see this movie but, you have my curiosity up. Would you say that it was a well put together, quality movie?

Hi alex,

Like Cheyenne I had no desire to see this movie but I might just see it this weekend after reading your post. I had never really thought about how FinDomme and strip clubs were similar. I think you nailed it.

I have never stripped but have known several ladies that danced for an extended time. One of them had to medicate to do it and was a true hustler in every form of the word. I worked with her for years incorporating her into MindFucks where we went to a strip club and she was great at what she did. I just always had to watch my back (and the client's) where the money was involved. Another lady was really the opposite. She told me how hard it was to do her job and that she had to take "breaks" from it. She was sweet and sensitive and sober. Both women had one thing in common. They both hated men and didn't care who knew it. Both told me that men say the most hateful things (mainly body issue things) to them while working. It's like men act out and feel they can say anything because they put a few dollars in their garter.


From the other perspective, I once knew a very wealthy guy who would spend thousands in strip clubs. It was a real addiction with him. In one weekend he spent $30 in a NYC club - and didn't have sex. He hates women. He and I didn't get along for very long.

Anyway, my point is that I think strip clubs are at one end of the spectrum when it comes to the attitudes that the client and the provider have for each other. Domination is at the other. Unless you are talking about financial domination, which in many ways seems fueled by hate as well.

Obviously there are exceptions. I know a woman that danced during a financial rough spot. She was/is married, didn't do any VIP work and had a supportive husband to come home to. She did it for less than a year and looks back on it without regret or animosity. She loves men.

I think it is well put together, and worth seeing.

There aren't that many movies about sex work, and I think this one will probably end up being one that people refer back to.

The thing is, my take on it is my take, and fairly different from many other people's takes. In particular, it's quite different from what many women say about it.

Here's an essay about it that takes a completely different view:

https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifesty...as-a-sex-worker

One thing that I think is central to the film is the women really are in it together, they have very strong connections to one another.

Another thing, which makes it go down better, is that all of the victims were supposed to be Wall Street guys who supposedly engage in lots of shady activity of their own. So there's sort of a Robin Hood angle to it.

When money is the Mistress, it just isn't fun.

About a week ago I got a fairly long from a friend. One of the topics she brought up was she had just seen Hustlers and thought it was "really good" and thought I might like it. I have known this woman for 23 years. I met her in a strip club. It is possible to get to know the real person involved in sex work. This one does not hate men (she married one a year ago) and is not a drug addict/alcoholic.

There are other strippers I have gotten to know very well. On Domina M's Board I had a breakthrough in coming to accept my sadistic side due to an experience with a stripper

omina.ms/~domroot/thebuzz/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=5979#Post5979

Turns out she wasn't the only stripper who liked to get spanked LOL. There was a very interesting stripper who was very much a switch. She claimed to have to have worked at a NYC dungeon for half a year then decided she could earn more as a stripper. We started doing things in the club's "champagne" room but eventually started sessioning outside the club which let us expand the menu of activities. I got to know her extremely well and not just the kinky stuff.

Strip clubs though have been in a secular decline for over a decade unlike findom which is growing like weeds.