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#2416 - 07/05/17 08:23 PM Re: Mistresses and Memoires [Re: Mistress Ayn]
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
When you say "what the legitimate expectation of the sub was when they agreed to the session", I think it's safe to say no one expects their session with a Domme to ever be made public.


If I am asked to write a review of the session, I expect it to be public fodder since I am doing it. When I ask a Domme for a reference, I expect that our activities are somewhat public. I also have had conversations with Dommes after sessions were over where I told them that it was ok to talk about our session with others if they want.

In all of those cases, I don't actually have that as a legitimate expectation since I have given consent in different ways to discuss session activities with others. Now, you are speaking of a published book to the public at large versus conversations within the BDSM community so I can see the difference. However, I can tell you that as long as it didn't cross my very hard limits about personal information and instead was just about some funny or sexy dungeon story (or even about how Mistress Ayn actually fell for me on a deeply emotional level based on my performance as a sub... which we all know is incredibly likely to happen) then I would have no problems being part of a book like that.

I know when I help to train new Dommes, I always tell them that mentioning how much she enjoyed some aspect of a session on Twitter (or her website) that the sub would recognize as themselves is a great tool for getting repeat business. It is thrilling to be acknowledged like that for most subs and I can imagine it would be even more so in a book.
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#2419 - 07/06/17 12:13 AM Re: Mistresses and Memoires [Re: AspX]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1277
Loc: Atlanta, GA and Romania
Originally Posted By AspX
If I am asked to write a review of the session, I expect it to be public fodder since I am doing it. When I ask a Domme for a reference, I expect that our activities are somewhat public. I also have had conversations with Dommes after sessions were over where I told them that it was ok to talk about our session with others if they want.

In all of those cases, I don't actually have that as a legitimate expectation since I have given consent in different ways to discuss session activities with others.


Ahh, I get the distinction now.

Originally Posted By AspX
However, I can tell you that as long as it didn't cross my very hard limits about personal information and instead was just about some funny or sexy dungeon story (or even about how Mistress Ayn actually fell for me on a deeply emotional level based on my performance as a sub... which we all know is incredibly likely to happen) then I would have no problems being part of a book like that.


That would need to be in the genre "fantasy" because everyone knows I am a callous bitch that couldn't possibly love anyone except Myself. laugh
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#2420 - 07/06/17 04:04 AM Re: Mistresses and Memoires [Re: Mistress Ayn]
AspX Online   content
Sage

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1026
Loc: Detroit
Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
Oh Asp, I think I love you.


Ahhh.. fantasy...
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#2434 - 07/10/17 10:54 AM Re: Mistresses and Memoires [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Sissybuttslave Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 11/27/15
Posts: 203
Loc: Atlanta, Ga
Dear Mistress Ayn, i am interested to read the comments of those who disapprove of memoirs when session info is shared but identities are protected. i think we ALL agree that identities should be protected. Part of the outrage is like so much other anger that we see now - Real discussions cant be undertaken on important subjects such as Race, Immigration and Gender Issues. the implication is disagreement with a certain stance = hatred! i am assuming the commenters are not the actual subs that were referenced in the memoirs, and that they are the unaffected, but outraged victim class that is enabled by anonymously commenting on the internet......(so says the guy that is anonymously commenting on the internet :-) ) i am very interested to read some of these memoirs- can you recommend the best?

ASPx- Back on Twitter? ! Great to see, i will follow you!
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#2439 - 07/10/17 06:31 PM Re: Mistresses and Memoires [Re: Sissybuttslave]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1277
Loc: Atlanta, GA and Romania
Hello sbs. Yes, I would assume the detractors were not actual subjects of the books, but "concerned bystanders" that wouldn't want their details made public. Much like wolf on here, that said dungeon details should never be made public, even if identities are protected. I asked him to elaborate because I find that attitude fascinating and would like to know his reasoning, but has never responded - which doesn't help his side of the argument.

I have only read two. Between the two the second one listed was the best. Neither was stellar.

https://www.amazon.com/Whip-Smart-True-Story-Secret/dp/B00BFQCJRU
https://www.amazon.com/Concertina-Loves-...book+dominatrix
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Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

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#2442 - 07/10/17 09:37 PM Re: Mistresses and Memoires [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Sissybuttslave Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 11/27/15
Posts: 203
Loc: Atlanta, Ga
Thank you Mistress Ayn! Much appreciated!!!!!!!
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