Of course I am referring to the type of fantasy where the male is raped (not doing the raping). Rape fantasies are common among women. So common that there has even been some research into them. Not so with men - at least that I am aware of. A simple Google search brings up male fantasies of committing rape and you really have to dig to get to the FemDom rape or male/male rape fantasies.

So I want to put it out to the males on the board::

Have you ever had this type of fantasy?

If so, would you live (or have you lived) it out in a session?

The conclusion I came to in reading about female fantasies of rape is that they are driven by two basic premises: 1.) the female is turned on by the idea of being so sexually attractive to a man that he cannot help himself. He has to have her, even if he has to force himself on her and 2.) society has made females so repressed that they find it liberating to have the choice of engaging in sex with a total stranger taken from them. It's also important to note that most female fantasies of rape do not involve pain or violence beyond the act itself and the men are either attractive or shadowy figures that one could imagine might be attractive.

I doubt that male fantasies of being raped stem from the same things but I would find it interesting to see what does drive them. I have done these types of sessions before and the overall theme is humiliation by being used in a degrading way - not "you Ladies find My ass so sexy you just gotta have it". Although I could see a bit of the "anal sex is so taboo I have to be tied up and have it forced on me", which is similar to one of the motivations of women. Any thoughts?

Spankings are not uncommon in bodice rippers (or so I've been told )

You may find this interesting: http://ravishu.com/forums/index.php?board=11.0 Or not

You are focusing on strap on play. If it happens while I am thoroughly restrained I guess there is a little bit of a rape element to it but it's secondary at best and there is no roleplay accentuating it. More important to maso me is that it be painful (I once made a Domme laugh by telling her, "It would be icky if I enjoyed it.") Bonus points if I sense that the Domme is genuinely enjoying doing it.

However if we expand the definition of rape to mean "coerced sex" I will admit that I sometimes fantasize about being "forced" to orally satisfy a demanding Domme who has become very aroused as a result of torturing me. The emotional turn-on to that is the idea of being used as well as abused.

On the advice of counsel I will decline to discuss whether this has ever happened.

I do have a fantasy about this Mistress Ayn. It's about the power dynamic for me. I enjoy female domination and being submissive. Being completely vulnerable to my Mistress is what makes this a fantasy for me!

The Male Rape Fantasy is i think as unique in the mind of every male as every other fantasy. It can also be in the Domme's mind but the difference is that what the male sub views as a fantasy is for the Domme a very serious step in the way the future D/s relationship evolves. If the sub is truly taken by the Domme 100% on Her terms for Her psychological pleasure and power then it is the ultimate game changer in many cases.

Rape in this situation is not criminal rape, it is not fantasy rape, it is the setting of the final boundaries of the D/s relationship and rape is likely the wrong word. What is meant is i think the act of the Woman taking the man how and where She sees fit.

This type of "rape" can be with Her strap-on, the strap-on of a female submissive or a male cock or it may just be a mental rape.


Experience 1

Years ago i sessioned with a Mistress who once in session said "One time when you come to see Me I will rape you."

Of course the tension that that created every time i went to see Her was now always there.

As part of my pre-session preparation She had begun long before that statement having me cleanse myself and then wear a reasonably large butt plug to the session. This was part of the routine that i followed.

Then when i arrived for session She began greeting me wearing Her strap-on and having me strip once i was inside the door rather than in the dungeon.

She had a large sofa in Her living room and the dungeon was downstairs.

One day when i arrived She cuffed me and then roughly pushed me over the sofa, pulled out my plug and took me there hard and fast.

Her language was abusively sexy and She made it clear that for Her this was a game changer. It was and eventually i had to stop sessioning with Her for many reasons

Experience 2

Another Mistress had me tied to a horse and had me spit roasted in a fairly exotic fashion with Her and another individual. Looking back this was a pretty heady thing to experience and at the time it was too much for me to manage. i needed a lot of immediate aftercare from Her to re-balance myself.

The Mistress was fantastic in re-grounding me and of course this particular session took me though a big barrier psychologically and physically as a result of that session. It changed Our/our relationship and enriched both of us. Play became far more intense and rewarding afterwards and in many ways We/we formed and have kept an amazing bond as a result of that session.

As men we have all heard man say to other men when describing a woman that all she needs is a damn hard fucking to straighten her out. I don't agree with this , however this is may be one of the reasons that woman may want to live out their rape fantasy , where they rape a man.

i think in some cases in a Domme/sub relationship the same thing applies because it sets the stage as to who is the Boss and resets the rule book going forward.

Dominance is Power and a Domme taking someone how She wants, when she wants and by who She wants, just because She can, represents the ultimate Power Exchange .

In this case the Mistress has in effect claimed ownership of me in every way and i have willingly accepted that that has occurred

Yes, I was focusing on penetration (strap on play) because it is the closest equivalent and when a male sub asks Me for a rape scene, he is specifically asking for strap on. I suppose "coerced sex" could be included here. That is a much more common request in session. "Mistress, I want you to seduce me (or blackmail me or whatever) and make me agree to take your strap on."

Interestingly enough, I doubt men would consider that a rape scene. A woman might . . .

Thanks for the link. I spent a few minutes on there already.

Thanks for this well thought out contribution. My gut answer to My own question was that men who fantasize about this see it as the ultimate in TPE. I think humiliation plays a bigger part in it for men too. When women describe their rape fantasies that element is not present or not mentioned as a whole.

Mistress Ayn,

Glad you enjoyed the link.

A few more thoughts. Strap on is in a way a sexual act even though penetrator and penetratee are reversed (uh oh, counsel doesn't like that I said that) There is an intimacy which is lacking with mere manual dildo insertion. Now words are often very important in role play. There were two Dommes that would use the word "fuck" a great deal during strap on. They would say things like, "I am going to fuck your brains out". I believe that there were doing this to accentuate the sexual overtones and to a degree it worked.

Now the word "rape" is an even more emotionally charged word than "fuck", so I can see how with some subs hearing it several times can further raise their sexual energy level.

It's funny that you ask this because I began writing an article for my blog which talks about men who want rape play in the larger issue of how I think there is commonly some unconscious misogyny involved.



I sometimes wonder if men aren't always honest about this fantasy. Because I've had some men ask me for rape play straight out, but others have said things which could be hinting at it like, "I want you to take me and do whatever you want," or "I want you to restrain me and force me to do whatever you want." I sometimes wonder if they are afraid to say the R word, maybe thinking I might be offended.

One time, during a kidnap roleplay, where rape play was not discussed, the person I was sessioning with suddenly blurted out "rape me!" and I went right into it. Afterward he commented about how surprised he was that I was so receptive. He was obviously delighted by it.



I have noticed a trend that concerns me somewhat: that men who want to be raped, they usually want to do it when dressed en femme. And it's not just rape play. It's other types of humiliation.

Why? I hate to say it, but it's seems that it's clear that because misogyny is so pervasive in our cultural narrative, that the way that men relate to erotic violence is that it is a female/feminine/femme thing. So if they eroticize certain types of violence, they feel compelled to inhabit a "female" mindset.

There's a lot more I could say here, but I should just finish my article !

Thankfully I haven't seen this as a trend in sessions - yet. I have a ton of sissy clients and most of them want to feel pretty and desirable and don't want any kind of pain, rough treatment, etc. For the most part they are truly trying to access their feminine side. I think playing au femme is their way of letting go of male ego and just enjoying. There are exceptions to this of course.

My "rape" requests tend to be more male centric: "I'm a big powerful guy, but you are going to tie me up and do what you want with me anyway." Sometimes the theme is about being punished for misogyny or some other "crime" against women. Like you, I think I would find it disturbing if the sub wanted to experience rape in a female garb or a female persona. You have stirred my curiosity though and I am going to watch this more closely.

Actually, it is my most prevalent fantasy--to be physically overpowered by a stronger woman who proceeds to use my sexually any way she wants, and in a rough even violent manner.

I have been fortunate to come close to living this out in session with a lady who comes from an affiliated field of femdom. She is taller, much stronger and heavier than me. My ability to physically resist her is token at best. I won't go into details, but I will say she is I in complete control and has a great time. I walk out utterly exhausted, used, and requiring a week to recover. They have been and are some of the best experiences of my life.

The first time it happened, it was sort of spontaneous and evolved from what we were doing. We talked afterwards. She was actually a bit concerned about what we did, but I assured her that I had the time of my life and it has become the central feature of what we do every time we meet!