The “where have all the topics gone” post made me wonder where are folks spending their online time as it relates to kink/femdom and what are folks favorites?

For me, Twitter is still king. I like being able to follow 100 or so Dommes, dungeons, etc. I wish it was easier to have a private and personal account though. I also find it a very one-sided platform. It’s not really meant for dialogue imo. But I’ve found a lot of great content and met some great Dommes there. Also great way to get to know a Domme.

I like Reddit a lot as well. Love how specific the sub-Reddits can be. I do find there’s a lot of trolls and clowns though

I’ve really enjoyed SextPanther to get to know some Dommes. I’ve had some great sessions through here and some very awesome text exchanges. Have one scheduled in NYC in a few weeks with a Domme I met there. It can get expensive quick though and the conversations seem to often turn to “my day was good, how was your day”.

OnlyFans always teases me with its potential but never seems to deliver. I’ll follow a Domme for a month or two especially if I’m thinking of setting up a session but it always seems to get repetitive and not much dialogue.

Curious other’s experiences both from the Domme and sub perspective. Any good ones I’ve missed?

I would like to get more into Mastodon because I like that it's decentralized. I'm just feeling very dismayed about social media at this point.

For now. I'm putting more of my time into my blog. Which isn't a "platform" by most people's standard but it is *my* platform.



Yeah, I hear ya. I really liked Twitter.



Not sure what you mean by "private and personal" but you can lock your account, you know. That makes it a kind of "invite only" thing.



How so? I thought is was a great way to have exchanges with people. I especially liked that it made it feel like everyone was equally accessible (assuming their account wasn't locked). I could tweet to a celebrity or politician, for example. Whether they read it is another story...



I have a Reddit account but I haven't used it much. I thought about directing my energy there after Twitter but, again. don't want to do this if I end up banned because someone just decides they want to exercise their power. For fun.



I thought about joining the site but some of the TOS was too ambiguous or suspicious. I asked them about it and they never replied. I even tried sending them a message on Twitter, privately and publicly. Crickets. Took that to be a bad sign about what I suspected about their TOS.



I never joined here either. Shortly after it started a woman was telling people that her boyfriend stole the idea and the money she had to get it started. I can't say it if was true but the possibility that I'd be making money for some shitty dude didn't make me want to join. As time has gone on the periodic issues with the site had confirmed, in my mind, that the woman was probably telling the truth and that I don't want to have anything to do with it.



It seems difficult to find a platform that isn't run by or owned by unethical people. So you always feel like you're their pawn, making them dirty money, and always at their mercy.

Mastodon might be the best one out there right now. But someone still runs the instance you're on and can boot you at any time.

At least with my blog, I'm paying for the space on the server and it's in the best interest of my host to work things out before they kick me off.

Mistress Tissa,

Thanks! Great perspective as always. I need to check out Mastodon I set up an account but never really used it.

By private/personal, I really meant my “real life” account and my “kink” account. Reddit is just so much easier for multiple discrete accounts imo.

I get Twitter is 2 way dialogue, I guess I just feel like I’m screaming into the void sometimes, lol. As in no one hears.

SP seems pretty lackadaisical on their TOS. I get the terms are there, but nothing seems to get enforced. It does give me pause that they can monitor conversations, watch any videos, etc. it creates an illusion of private chat that’s not real. But fingers crossed I’ve had no issues as of yet.

OF is definitely sketch. I don’t know if the founder stories are true or not but it’s definitely not very kink friendly.

Things are so different now as compared to 20 years ago, if you go back and look at MF in its heyday. There was so much vibrant conversation there, the occasional trolling and flamewars aside. Today, I think a newer generation just isn't as into these longer-form online conversations. In terms of where I spend the most time, it's Twitter, although I mostly just read. My account there is private just for my own privacy reasons -- a couple of times I accidentally tweeted out stuff out from the wrong account and locking it down restricts that potential damage. I'll also look at IG and sometimes participate in domme's Q&As there. I hate OF. The platform is so clunky, and the conversations you wind up having are just chit chat or generic DS talk designed to keep you paying. (This has to do with the fact that you can't discuss in-person on OF, so nothing can lead to anything in the real world.)

I have a personal Reddit account but not a kink one. Would be interested in the subreddits you like.

I haven't tried SP but maybe should. I'll also use NF from time to time. The main domme I talk to there has turned into a bit more of a personal thing as most of our conversations/play now occur off that platform or via text.

One platform I would add is podcasts. In terms of time, I probably spend more time listening to kink podcasts than anything else, although, obviously, that is entirely one-way and not a conversation. But there's the Masocast (dormant much of the time but now Axe says he's recording more interviews), What Women and Other Wonderful Humans Want (terrible name but good guests and good questions if you can deal with the host's style), Damiana Chi has an occasional podcast. Erin Pimm has the Bedpost podcast. There was an interesting podcast last year called Good Pain, where two mostly vanilla, kink-curious people had some interesting guests on, including several dommes.

Also, speaking of Instagram, Mistresses Shayla Lange and Lola Jean do their online tutorials Seven Days of Domination, and even if you don't sign up there are hour-long conversations with each guest after.

I'd be interested in any good kink-centered Mastodon instances you come across. I have a regular account there but hardly use it.

Pssst...kink IS real life.



Then maybe you're in too big of a room.



I mean, I didn't expect they were actually monitoring every conversations (though, like you, aware of and not really comfortable with their ability to do that at any time). I really don't like when I reach out to a company who will be taking a chunk of the money I'm earning them and they never reply to me. It's not a good start to a "relationship". Like, is this what you'll be like any time I have to contact you about a concern? Will you suspend me for something and not reply to me if I am trying to get to worked out? Will the money be worth a potential headache down the line? These are the things I think about. Also, I'm pretty professional and I approach my work seriously. I like to do business with others who have a similar mindset. Ignoring potential money makers is not a good look.



Not kink friendly? Boring. Bye.

While I do think our culture has nurtured people into having short attention spans, I don't think that newer generations are less interested in more in-depth, meaningful conversation. I think it's that they aren't coming to archaic places like this to have it.



I don't use IG because it's owned by the creepy uncle of the internet: Facebook. And because too many adult entertainers have been kicked off, making it, in my opinion, not a good use of energy.



I don't use NF much. I hear "Mistress, you're never on!" It's because I get impatient waiting for calls.



OK, I'm one of these people who never clicked with the term "podcast". I find it slightly unsettling. Kind of alienating (pun intended).

It's just people recording themselves talking? Like an internet radio show, right? Why "podcast"? Is this leftover from the days where people would subscribe to them and get the recordings downloaded onto their devices or something? Am I remembering this correctly?

I would, too. heh.

I looked for some and found one but it explicitly says that professionals can't be there. Which means that it's going to feel like you're at an online munch. Weeee.

I really only post about Kink on this board. I like the fact that the technology is a little outdated. I also just like the people here. The conversation seems more intelligent than most sites.

My twitter account has fallen dormant i do use it to occasionally to view a dommes account I am interested in.

My sessions have slowed down but if i were to pick it back up i would probably use seeking. Ive had great success there finding kinky partners even if its not what the site is advertised as. I also found a lot of fun to chat on that site.

Ive also met a few dominant women on Instagram. Although mostly for “non-professional” dating.

For professional encounters, either femdom or vanilla, Tryst has been good to me

I’ve had similar experience on Tryst. Have found some great Dommes on there. I’ve also found some great play partners on there that advertised as escorts, not Dommes but have been kinky af and great fun to see.