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#16039 - 10/16/21 11:15 PM Re: Seeking femdom in sugarland [Re: Spark]
Swordfish Online   content
Regular

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 127
Loc: California
That is AWESOME! I am glad someone else is discovering the joys of the femdom arrangement!

On the initial platonic meet (the "meet and greet"), if what you're doing is working for you, that's great. My advice not to offer payment in advance has nothing to do with affordability. Rather, it's that so many SDs find the quality of the potential SBs go up when they don't promise a payment for it, and my experiences are VERY solidly in this group. There are just too many scammers and other types you really don't want to waste your time, who will come to a M&G with you just for the payment.

My M&G best practices: 1. Tell her you will cover her transportation expenses, 2. When she shows up to the M&G, consider giving her an extra gift (a hundred or two) -- the critical thing being, it's not promised in advance, she's not making the decision on whether to come to dinner with you based on being paid for it, she's doing it because she likes you and she thinks you're compatible. Then you give her some cash anyway.

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#16043 - 10/19/21 07:31 AM Re: Seeking femdom in sugarland [Re: Swordfish]
Chi61 Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/22/16
Posts: 147
I follow a similar approach to Swordfish on this. Covering expenses and/or a gift is the way to go imo. I’ve had bad experiences whenever I’ve agreed to paid meet & greets and/or paid platonic dates. Including one who took the agreed on $, and literally ran away with it. Lol. That said, the sugar bowl is a strange place. What works for one person in one city, may not work for another elsewhere. Go with whatever works for you and enjoy.

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#16047 - 10/19/21 11:31 PM Re: Seeking femdom in sugarland [Re: Chi61]
Spark Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/15/19
Posts: 247
Good insight guys!

I actually am probably more aligned with your approach then i led you to believe. Ive been asked a few times for money for a meet and greet. Ive always turned it down. However when ive done the meet and greet i’ve typically offered a token amount about $100-$200. Sometime during the date with a comment along the lines of “I am really enjoying getting to know you and just wanted to provide a small gift to show i an sincere. I hope it makes your day a little better”.

I believe the standard is not to pay on an initial meet and it is generally not expected but appreciated.

Also just to bring this thread back to femdom all of my dates didnt have femdom experience. All described themselves as vanilla. But all were very interested, accepting and open to exploring further. It just is a nice reminder for me that if we share the things we enjoy many people will accept you. Not something i realized 20 years ago.

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#16048 - 10/20/21 03:45 PM Re: Seeking femdom in sugarland [Re: Spark]
Swordfish Online   content
Regular

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 127
Loc: California
Originally Posted By Spark
Good insight guys!
Sometime during the date with a comment along the lines of “I am really enjoying getting to know you and just wanted to provide a small gift to show i an sincere. I hope it makes your day a little better”.

I believe the standard is not to pay on an initial meet and it is generally not expected but appreciated.


Yes, classy and fair way to go, IMO, and the way I do it.

Quote:


Also just to bring this thread back to femdom all of my dates didnt have femdom experience. All described themselves as vanilla. But all were very interested, accepting and open to exploring further. It just is a nice reminder for me that if we share the things we enjoy many people will accept you. Not something i realized 20 years ago.



Right, that is a much more key insight that many realize. I've seen many times that someone will come onto a sugar-oriented forum, and say "I'm an SD looking for sugar and femdom together". There's always a chorus of "Sugarbabies are all submissive, almost none of them advertise as dominant, you're better off on fetlife".

I always respond that the fact that few SBs are dominant is both true, and irrelevant. Yes, it's true, very few mention being dominant on their profile, and the majority have absolutely no femdom experience. But it's also irrelevant, because if approached respectful, a huge number of SBs are open to femdom, sometimes extremely enthusiastically open ("OMG I've always wanted to try it but never got a chance!") etc. Now if you want an SB who is experienced in femdom, that I agree is a challenge. But if you're happy working with an enthusiastic novice, once you nail down the proper approach, it's a target-rich environment

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