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#13887 - 03/27/21 03:49 PM Re: Sub drop [Re: AynsToy]
AynsToy Offline
Artisan

Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 70
I think another factor that figures in to the equation for me is that I simply miss my Mistress.
The article I referenced makes mention of the emotional side of the equation and how one can suddenly feel abandoned, depressed or unloved. For me, I feel such a strong connection with Her when we're in session that when it's over and I'm back home and hours away from her, I feel alone.

Bottom line is that it's a pretty crappy feeling but knowing and understanding what it is and that it's normal for some can help one muddle through it.
_________________________
Fear, anxiety, arousal & pain; all are emotions & sensations. Feel them, experience them, surrender to them & learn to accept them.

~AynsToy

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#13888 - 03/27/21 06:58 PM Re: Sub drop [Re: AynsToy]
ScoobyBelfast Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 12/12/20
Posts: 288
What you describe makes perfect sense. I get it now. My live in girlfriend is my sole play partner. We've only had one professional session so far. It was together, with her topping along with the Mistress. I understand why being left to your own having experienced such an emotional high would be lonely. That sucks, dude, such a double edged sword.

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#13889 - 03/27/21 08:00 PM Re: Sub drop [Re: ScoobyBelfast]
AynsToy Offline
Artisan

Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 70
Originally Posted By ScoobyBelfast
I understand why being left to your own having experienced such an emotional high would be lonely. That sucks, dude, such a double edged sword.


You're absolutely right, it is a double-edged sword, but it is so totally worth it!! smile
_________________________
Fear, anxiety, arousal & pain; all are emotions & sensations. Feel them, experience them, surrender to them & learn to accept them.

~AynsToy

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#14082 - 04/07/21 06:10 AM Re: Sub drop [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Tristan Offline
Artisan

Registered: 03/31/21
Posts: 76
Sub drop (and Dom drop since I am a switch) can be a horrible, horrible thing.

The worst I ever had it was one time, after a multi day session. It was an utterly fantastic session and I was in my car driving home. It was about an hour after the session ended.

I totally lost my shit and sobbed like a baby for a good 20 minutes. It was a complete, uncontrollable emotional response.

Rationally, I was ok. I didn't have dangerous thoughts or anything. I knew I was experiencing sub drop.

It was just... uuhhhg...

BUT! It goes away. After it subsided, I was back to normal. And actually pretty happy because really, it was an awesome session.


Edited by Tristan (04/07/21 06:11 AM)

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#14083 - 04/07/21 07:02 AM Re: Sub drop [Re: Tristan]
AynsToy Offline
Artisan

Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 70
Originally Posted By Tristan
I totally lost my shit and sobbed like a baby for a good 20 minutes. It was a complete, uncontrollable emotional response.


I can so totally relate, except for me it was a day or two later. It does help realizing that it’s sub drop and that you’re not losing it, but yeah ... it’s definitely uuhhg!

Thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Fear, anxiety, arousal & pain; all are emotions & sensations. Feel them, experience them, surrender to them & learn to accept them.

~AynsToy

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#14096 - 04/07/21 01:36 PM Re: Sub drop [Re: AynsToy]
Tristan Offline
Artisan

Registered: 03/31/21
Posts: 76
Ah yes. I've had it hit me a day or two later.

Like a hangover, ya just gotta ride it out. And, is it worth it? Oh hells yes. Its worth it.

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#15029 - 06/22/21 01:10 PM Re: Sub drop [Re: Mistress Ayn]
AynsToy Offline
Artisan

Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 70
Dusting this topic off as I've been doing more research and reading on sub drop.

Almost all online blogs and articles on the subject of sub drop refer to the chemical and hormonal changes that take place within our bodies and these changes are widely believed to be what's occurring when sub drop is experienced. That's all well and good and I do believe that may be precisely what's happening when the drop is experienced shortly after an intense scene in the session, but it really doesn't hold up too well when the drop is experienced one or more days after the session has ended. Some articles attempt to explain that these chemical and hormonal changes could extend for a few days, but for me that just never really *felt* right.

For me personally, the worst of it always hits anywhere from 1-4 days after the session and it just never made sense to me that this could still be due to chemical/hormonal fluctuations in my body. A few days after getting back to my everyday work and home life, I feel the loneliness and emptiness starting to creep in and at times it becomes overwhelming. I find it difficult to concentrate and I generally lack interest in the things that typically bring me satisfaction. I've continued to read and research the subject in an effort to gain a better understanding of what's happening and why it hits me so hard in the hopes of maybe coming up with a way to counteract it.

Earlier this week I came across a research paper by Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D. from California State University and Anna Randall, MSW, MPH, DHS from The Alternative Sexual Health Research Alliance. The theory behind this paper was very intriguing to me because it is the first article that I have come across that attempts to give a different explanation to what's happening with the sub drop that occurs days later. Basically, they theorize that the "days later" drop is not a biochemical reaction but is instead a reaction to loss and is a process of grief and bereavement.

I won't go into the details of their theory here ... I've posted the link below if you're interested in reading it. But I do have to admit that I find this theory much more plausible and believable than an extended biochemical reaction.

Black and Blues: Sub Drop, Top Drop, Event Drop and Scene Drop
_________________________
Fear, anxiety, arousal & pain; all are emotions & sensations. Feel them, experience them, surrender to them & learn to accept them.

~AynsToy

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#15035 - 06/22/21 10:30 PM Re: Sub drop [Re: AynsToy]
The Thomas Online   content
Addict

Registered: 10/20/15
Posts: 432
Thanks for posting this link. I personally don't experience sub-drop (nor top-drop as I am a switch) but I accept that there are others that do. I naively assumed that the onset was fairly quick and therefore subscribed to the psychochemical theory. However those have serious problems when there is a lengthy delay.

I would note that the article proposes two separate theories. The first involves guilt/grief/regret (arguably multiple theories) The second theory which is even more speculative involves identity. You appear to see the first theory as applicable to your situation.

Hopefully some others will share their experiences

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#15046 - 06/23/21 11:26 AM Re: Sub drop [Re: The Thomas]
AynsToy Offline
Artisan

Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 70
Originally Posted By The Thomas
I would note that the article proposes two separate theories. The first involves guilt/grief/regret (arguably multiple theories) The second theory which is even more speculative involves identity. You appear to see the first theory as applicable to your situation.



Yes, I believe the first theory of grief/loss applies more to what and how I begin to feel a day or more after the session. I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed or even exhausted and I certainly don't feel a loss of identity.

I've just come away from this highly anticipated, very real, very raw and yes, even very intimate connection with my Mistress and now I'm back in my everyday existence and I find myself feeling lost, disconnected, unmotivated, depressed and sad.
_________________________
Fear, anxiety, arousal & pain; all are emotions & sensations. Feel them, experience them, surrender to them & learn to accept them.

~AynsToy

Top
#15047 - 06/23/21 11:39 AM Re: Sub drop [Re: AynsToy]
furfan Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 01/20/21
Posts: 346
I agree. The feeling after a great session is always a little bit like the way I feel the day after Christmas. smile

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