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#12946 - 01/20/21 01:22 PM How has Your role as a Mistress or sub evolved?
Spark Online   content
Artisan

Registered: 08/15/19
Posts: 50
I remember my first session in 1999. As a new submissive i didnt know what to do or how to handle it. Would i like it? Would reality align with fantasy? Was i supposed to tip? Was i supposed to hug her goodbye?

I remember ber that session going through my lists of kinks and fetishes. Loving every minute but being nervous. Not saying much just going through the session.

Fast forward 20 years and how things have changed. My sessions are highly interactive and despite the fact im a sub i like to think i give as good as i get. In a recent session with strap on play when she asked if i was ready i told my domina she couldnt handle my ass. (She did) But i think she was expecting a “yes mistress” and nearly fell over laughing.

I even switch a little now. Although im not that good at it.

I love the interactions particularly the stuff in between sessions. Im not a hand my tribute over and walk out the door type of sub. Im more in the camp of lets do a 4 hour session and then go grab an incredible dinner. Lets joke via text message during the week. Lets talk about life and business.

I dont think i would have been as successful in vanilla life without these types of interactions.

Thats been a change that has come about as a result of 20 years of great interactions with dominant women. Hopefully ive changed them for the better in some small way as well.

My question is how has your role as a domme or a sub changed for the better over time?

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#12967 - 01/21/21 02:00 PM Re: How has Your role as a Mistress or sub evolved? [Re: Spark]
DommeLynx Online   content

Artisan

Registered: 07/09/19
Posts: 73
Loc: Jersey City, NJ
Love the story, Spark. Love interactive subs smile

I knew I was dominant really early on, but was very ashamed to act on it. I had pretty extreme CNC fantasies, among other "taboo" things I liked and thought something was wrong with me. Am I a bad person? Do I need to see a therapist? All these thoughts kept my kinky side in a corner. I was lucky to find someone who didn't shame me at the time, and had complimentary interests. My confidence skyrocketed.

I tried to find out more of my interests through porn, bad idea. I was not the whip-and-chain brutal Dominatrix that porn told me to be. It took me a while to realize I could be dominant AND sensual. I could be loving, intimate, caring, and still have men tremble under my control. Domming now for me is so much more cathartic and fulfilling.
_________________________
Mistress Erika Lynx
Playful, Creative, and Sensual Female Domination.
NJ. NYC. MA

www.GoddessLynx.com
www.Onlyfans.com/dommelynx
NEW TWITTER: www.Twitter.com/DominaLynx

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#12968 - 01/21/21 02:15 PM Re: How has Your role as a Mistress or sub evolved? [Re: Spark]
wllwrk4spankings Online   content
Occasional

Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 25
Loc: Southern U.S.
Your first session was in 1999? Wow...mine too! (August 1999...specifically).

My own experience as a submissive has seen its fair share of ebbs and flows, and I'd like to think that I've gotten better and have figured out my "place" in the Scene.

When I first got involved in FemDom, I dived off the deep end. After only three sessions with a particular Mistress, she broached the topic of collaring and personal service along with the other "lifestyle" trappings (e.g. play parties, etc). I burned out very quickly and ended up not actively participating for at least a year.

Since that time, I've gone from periods of active participation to rather dormant years. A few years ago, I ended up seeing one Mistress exclusively and that likewise evolved toward a personal, "collared" situation. Again, I burned out and had to "take a knee," so to speak.

So, looking at all that has transpired for me, I've reached some conclusions that serve as "guideposts" for my life as a submissive.

1) The whole "lifestyle" D/s relationship paradigm (e.g. slave contract, collar, chastity device, FetLife profile, etc) is not meant for everyone. Some men, based on their personality, experience in D/s and life situation simply aren't suited for this...and I'm one of those not suited.

And it shouldn't matter. It doesn't make me any less authentically submissive or respectful of Mistresses if I choose *not* to go down this road. Professional sessions give me the opportunity to express service to a Domme, and I prefer to keep it at that level.

2) It's okay to take breaks. I'm trying to constantly remind myself that I *don't* have to session each and every time I visit this-or-that city that just happens to host a particular Mistress I've seen in the past. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and taking time away can help avoid burnout while making fewer sessions that more special.

3) It's okay to set boundaries and reconsider your hard limit list. It's okay to try things that I previously considered "no go" activities. And, it's also okay to cease certain activities that I may very well have indulged earlier in my "sub journey."

Your limits are *your* limits, and you don't owe anyone a damn explanation why this-or-that activity is on your limit list.

4) Along with boundaries...focus on your vanilla life first. Examine your satisifaction with your career, vanilla hobbies, lifestyle. Focus on enhancing and improving these areas first. Then, once that's in place, slowly integrate BDSM into your life. Don't fall into the trap of thinking D/s should drive your life.

5) Don't fall into the "taxonomy" game. There are a lot of people in the Scene, unfortunately, who want to put every participant in a box and evaluate them as such. Are you a slave or a submissive? Are you a masochist or a sissy? Are you a bottom or a fetishist? Are you a CPA or a NICU nurse?

FFS...you're...well...*YOU.* Don't worry about where you fall on the continuum. As long as you're conducting yourself in an atmosphere of respect and consent...you're okay.

Anyway...that's my 0.02 cents. I am interested in seeing more responses to your post.
_________________________


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#12970 - 01/21/21 03:51 PM Re: How has Your role as a Mistress or sub evolved? [Re: DommeLynx]
junglebeast Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 06/15/19
Posts: 272
Loc: Native New Yorker
"I could be dominant AND sensual." That's experience, part of the journey.

It reminds me of a session with Goddess Severa where I was very fragile due to tons of stress. This was my third session with her and we knew each other pretty well. I had to see her since she was only to be in town for a few days and travels once a year. The Goddess is 6' 5" barefoot and if you go on her site she is tremendously imposing. I'm 6' 1" and feel short next to her. We exchanged emails, with me requesting a strap on. My first time.

She met me in her hotel lobby, we got in her room - a suite and living room. She went into the bedroom to get ready and I panicked, got even more depressed than I was before. She came into the living, dressed in black leather and boots. I got on my knees, apologized, said I didn't want the strap on and intimated I should go. She sweetly said stay, saying she would change her outfit.

She came back out dressed like our normal "Amazon" role play, a two-piece thong bathing suit. She was barefoot too. Severa sat back in a large lounge chair and ottoman, smiled and said, "What is wrong with my 'jungle'? Come over here and worship my feet." I did her feet, she ordered me to massage her long legs, and all the while she was talking to me - in charge of course and giving instructions in the "Amazon" character to find out what was wrong. She eventually had me kneel, almost sit at the end of her chair with her arm around me, holding me close to her breast. I began to talk in character too, saying 'jungle' thought he was in trouble and the Goddess would never see him again. She said something like I've always been a good pet, never disrespectful, and hugged me saying everything was alright.

It was cathartic. Tears came to my eyes. I was clearly in deep subspace. At the end we both changed, she came out of the bedroom, I thanked her. She gave me big hug, hoped I felt better and complimented me. Going home that day I felt wonderful, complimented and stressed out. For me that's being "dominant AND sensual," and probably a little bit more.

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#12971 - 01/21/21 05:23 PM Re: How has Your role as a Mistress or sub evolved? [Re: DommeLynx]
buffalo Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 158
Loc: USA
It’s great to read a post like that coming from a Domme. My experience growing up was very similar to yours but coming from the submissive side. I was definitely ashamed and thought something was wrong with me. It took me a long time to realize others had the same desires as I did and even longer to realize Dommes really had the opposite sadistic feelings.
_________________________
And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo

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#12972 - 01/21/21 05:26 PM Re: How has Your role as a Mistress or sub evolved? [Re: junglebeast]
buffalo Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 158
Loc: USA
Goddess Severa is the best. An amazing woman. Truly dominant and sadistic with as kind of a heart you will ever find.
_________________________
And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo

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