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#12213 - 11/02/20 06:51 PM Re: References make no sense [Re: John_Bolton]
Luke Cage Offline
Occasional

Registered: 01/26/16
Posts: 45
Loc: PA
When you say "Let's get rid of this references bs", who is this "us" you're implying? I mean, you can just as well see a domme who, for whatever reason doesn't require one.

And those who require references, and those willing to provide them, will gather, and those who don't & won't - won't.

It's a free market, right?
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#12215 - 11/02/20 06:59 PM Re: References make no sense [Re: Luke Cage]
John_Bolton Offline
Regular

Registered: 06/22/20
Posts: 195
Relax Luke, no need to get worked up. I was only pointing out that it makes sense to get rid of the reference requirement on session applications in order for women to stay dominant. If they don't actually check the "references" I list, then I may think less of their application process.

As I said, only 15% actually verify references. So, I can simply put down a couple references, list their email address, numbers, say I saw them back in February and April, and then two days later, a domme I request a session with will tell me I'm approved. She never checked the references. Since they're rarely checked, only those who actually verify should continue asking for them.


Edited by John_Bolton (11/02/20 07:01 PM)

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#12253 - 11/05/20 09:18 PM Re: References make no sense [Re: John_Bolton]
Luke Cage Offline
Occasional

Registered: 01/26/16
Posts: 45
Loc: PA
I’m totally relaxed. Just asking basic questions, like “How did you get ‘15%’?”
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#12258 - 11/06/20 08:15 AM Re: References make no sense [Re: Luke Cage]
Lady Bellatrix Online   content

Addict

Registered: 11/03/15
Posts: 478
Loc: Paris, France
Personally, I have stopped using the referencing system about 5 years ago.

If you're on tour, there is no time to be checking references. But even so, I have had no call/no shows on tour off the back of more than one reference. I have also had a slave in San Diego give me a Domme's details for a reference, and when I called her to confirm she flipped out.

Also, in the past, I had a client who was very reliable, he was always on time like clockwork. I was out of town and referred him to a friend. He ended up screwing her around and didn't follow through. I found it surprising that someone who'd always been so reliable with me messed up so badly with a colleague. I've also had the reverse of this. A colleague referred one of her long standing clients to me and he cancelled at the very last minute (claiming he was nervous).

And one Domme's standards of what makes a client good may differ from someone else's.

Now, I take deposits 100% of the time (even from regulars I've seen for 7 years and they have no problem with this). So in my professional opinion, I think overall, references are pretty much redundant now days. But to each their own.


Edited by Lady Bellatrix (11/06/20 08:17 AM)
Edit Reason: typo
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#12263 - 11/06/20 08:30 PM Re: References make no sense [Re: Lady Bellatrix]
MayaMidnight Online   content

Artisan

Registered: 06/23/19
Posts: 83
I once got screwed around by a client with three GLOWING references from highly reputable Mistresses. I've also had clients who were lovely with me be actively terrifying with other dommes.

I do not rely solely on references. I get a deposit from all new clients and reserve the right to a require a deposit every time if they mess up. I don't require references, but I still ask for them and I always check them when they are presented to me.

They definitely have their place, esp when LE is a concern. It's also true that many clients are reluctant to give a deposit to a less established domme and Mistresess new to the industry may feel that they cannot require deposits without losing too much business but can get references with relative ease.

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#12269 - 11/07/20 10:08 AM Re: Why are you on this board? [Re: Mistress Tissa]
Soapy Online   happy
Addict

Registered: 10/10/15
Posts: 537
+1

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#12275 - 11/07/20 01:18 PM Re: References make no sense [Re: MayaMidnight]
Lady Bellatrix Online   content

Addict

Registered: 11/03/15
Posts: 478
Loc: Paris, France
Yes Maya, you seem to have had very similar experiences to me with with the referencing system.

However, as I was based predominantly in the UK for many years but toured US and Canada, I think it is a lot more common there. In the UK, Dommes rarely ask for references in lieu of a deposit (if they take one at all).

But for me, the best reference a new client can provide is a non refundable deposit wink
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