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#11707 - 09/06/20 03:27 PM Is submission weak or strong?
Spark Online   content
Occasional

Registered: 08/15/19
Posts: 32
Was having this discussion the other night with a Domme ive sessioned with for a while and i think i caught her off guard.

Over my 20 years in bdsm ive always heard that submissive men are weak and lack confidence. I get that soemtimes people want humiliation. Sometimes i do too.

But ive always thought submission is an act of strength. To be able to confidently express that you want to kneel before a Domme and give up control takes a ton of confidence. To be able to put your needs and desires aside to please and serve takes strength not weakness.

When i walk out of a session i feel like i can take on the world. That to me doesn't seem weak?

What does everyone else think is submission an act of weakness or strength or can it be both?

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#11708 - 09/06/20 04:25 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: Spark]
Cheyenne Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 1341
Great topic. I've always viewed submission as a sign of self confidence and strength. It takes both to dig in and enjoy your fantasies and fetishes without being insecure.

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#11709 - 09/06/20 05:12 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: Spark]
DommeLynx Online   content

Artisan

Registered: 07/09/19
Posts: 62
Loc: Jersey City, NJ
Originally Posted By Spark


What does everyone else think is submission an act of weakness or strength or can it be both?


I can't speak as a submissive, but as a kinkster I can confidently say different people get different things out of Kink. With this in mind my assumption would be that it can be both smile
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#11710 - 09/06/20 05:26 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: DommeLynx]
junglebeast Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 06/15/19
Posts: 253
Loc: Native New Yorker
Not because I'm a sub overwhelmingly in session, but I agree with Cheyenne and Spark on the subject. I was actually thinking about this a couple of weeks ago, when I was reminiscing about my past "adventures."

For me I have the confidence to be a sub. Over the decades I've had sessions they have been with traditional Dominas, female bodybuilders and what best can be called "kinky escorts" for want of a better phrase. All were in control and all were dominant. (In a couple of very rare cases I became as switch as a natural part of the session with ladies I knew well.)

In analyzing my alter ego and my kinks in session, I like being an exhibitionist for one Mistress, if that makes sense. With two Dominas I know very well we did limited public play on the waterfront, parking garages, hotel stairways. In the past decade or so I put myself in the frame of mind as I go to a sessions that the dominant woman who I will me has hired me as HER entertainment.

So I think you have to be strong and confident to be a submissive, and willing to be open to new possibilities.

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#11712 - 09/07/20 01:10 AM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: Spark]
John_Bolton Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/22/20
Posts: 195
It depends. I think if you are submissive and view women as superior in all facets of life, then sure, you're weak. For some, it may be a fetish. I definitely wouldn't say it is a strength, but I don't necessarily think sessioning and fetishizing women is weak. I mean, after all, I am technically hiring/renting a woman for an hour to dress up and perform several activities I like. Generally, their tits are slightly exposed and I cum. I don't see that as being weak.

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#11715 - 09/07/20 10:38 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: Spark]
nysubjack Online   content
Artisan

Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 86
I think the strength of the male submissive lies in recognizing, accepting and acting upon the desire (need?) to submit to a dominant woman. That goes against so much of what we are taught as young boys and into young manhood.

But once accepted and acted upon, that moment is tremendously liberating. But it takes a lot of strength to accept it, and even more to act upon it for that very first time.

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#11716 - 09/07/20 10:49 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: nysubjack]
junglebeast Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 06/15/19
Posts: 253
Loc: Native New Yorker
I agree

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#11718 - 09/08/20 12:03 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: Spark]
gimp Online   content
Regular

Registered: 07/25/19
Posts: 105
Loc: NJ, USA
In our kinky world most would view it as a strength. As for the regular vanilla people probably see submission as a weakness.

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#11719 - 09/08/20 01:13 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: gimp]
Cheyenne Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 1341
Originally Posted By gimp
In our kinky world most would view it as a strength. As for the regular vanilla people probably see submission as a weakness.


For a man to put on a ballerina outfit or bend over for a strap on, to be considered weak, is beyond me. That is a sign of self assurance and someone who just wants to have fun, without worrying what anyone else would think.

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#11720 - 09/08/20 04:30 PM Re: Is submission weak or strong? [Re: Cheyenne]
junglebeast Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 06/15/19
Posts: 253
Loc: Native New Yorker
Originally Posted By Cheyenne
Originally Posted By gimp
In our kinky world most would view it as a strength. As for the regular vanilla people probably see submission as a weakness.


For a man to put on a ballerina outfit or bend over for a strap on, to be considered weak, is beyond me. That is a sign of self assurance and someone who just wants to have fun, without worrying what anyone else would think.


How can I put this politely and not graphically? I got into the scene as a horny 20 yr old seeing a grainy B&W pic of a hot late 40s woman in leather. I went there not knowing a damned thing but willing to experiment to be with her. I was respectful. It was extremely hot. Wonderful. My Mom raised me as a gentleman. I think that’s the reason I took chances and followed instruction, with limits, in the decades since. I feel privileged to have met, known and enjoyed so many creative, strong women. Many pushed my limits as they got to know me. In my last sessions last year I did things that my 20 yr old self would have said, “What?” I was brave enough to take a chance and Dominas gave me the confidence to try. Mistresses are brave and, thanks to them, so are subs. Mistresses provide confidence... and safety if they are real pros. In my case my Mistresses objectified by masculinity to be of service and entertainment to them. I learned and I’m very thankful.

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