This is good to look out from anyone, Domme or sub. I have dealt with a some clients, and some would-be clients, who have indications of a personality disorder. Sometimes it seems mildly expressed, but there have been maybe 4 or 5 people I've encountered who have displayed red flag behavior. Knowing how to weed those people out is important for your safety.
Narcissists, like other psychopaths, can be hard to detect...at first. They can be witty, personable, and charming. They will draw people in this way to fulfill their Narcissistic "supply". If someone disrupts that, you will see them display more destructive and abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting. Here are some of them:
* Lack of concern or empathy. They may have no interest in another's thoughts and feelings or the ways in which they hurt others. They may say you're wrong for feeling that way or mock your feelings or pain. They may even try to act like you have hurt them for expressing the way they have hurt you or another, often dramatizing it. (
https://youtu.be/XzDDTOYrnm8?si=PqXC307pdGGNHXn9&t=123)
* A "revisionist" approach to events. They like to rewrite history and say you did things you did not do -- even in the face of clear evidence -- and declare that any fault lies with you and never them.
* Try to claim authority about what you think or believe, or your motivations. This is to disorient and disrupt your sense of identity.
* They may say you're lying, cheating, stealing, out of your mind/out of control, insane and other dramatic things to try distress you and make you doubt your own sanity. These are often "psychological projections".
An interesting thing is that people with NPD tend to attract people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with NPD have an exaggerated, to the point of it being imagined, sense of self which appeals to the person with BPD, who often lacks a core identity.
Those with NPD like to have people around to provide them with the attention and adoration they need for their "supply" which the BPD will provide as an attempt to "pull" the NPD person to them in order to avoid their pathological fear of abandonment. (A person with BPD does not handle real or imagined abandonment well. They may retaliate and exhibit behaviors that are grossly disproportionate to the offense or relationship.)
The Narcissist's attempt to assign thoughts, feelings, and motivations works well with the lack of those things that the Borderline person suffers from (you might see someone with BPD look like they're copying someone's appearance, language, interests, beliefs, etc), which is one reason why they tend to have a magnetic attraction to one another.
It's also important to know that people can have traits of a personality disorder but do not fit the clinical criteria for a diagnosis. Having one or two is relatively common in the general population; it's when there are multiple, and often certain key traits, that determines the disorder. You have to pay attention to more than one example or event and look at patterns over time.
Just be careful you don't get entangled with any PDs with PDs! lol