Resistance Ins't Futile... It's The Purpose

I recently had an amazing session that made me think of this topic but just haven't had time to post it until now. Although I am very much a switch, that is not something that most Dommes see because when I choose to kneel I am very submissive. That translates into a focus on being disciplined during play and doing my best to not resist anything that the Domme wishes to do (unless it is over a limit of course).

However, in this session, the Domme decided that she wanted to torture me with taking me to the edge of orgasm and then requiring that I say "mercy" rather than being forced to cum. I hate begging or having to ask for mercy because I consider it failure to be disciplined enough to take whatever she is doing and topping from the bottom to a certain extent. In this case something very interesting happened and instead of what I normally do (which is to totally give into what the Domme wishes) I focused on completely resisting all of the pleasure she was driving into me so I wouldn't have to say "mercy".

This led to an epic battle between the two of us where I was no longer my normal good subbie self but instead was a completely resistant brat sub, albeit one without the commentary and taunting (yea... I know... but I swear I am different in session and we all know that self-delusion isn't just a river in Egypt). Although I couldn't actually "resist" anything she was doing since my arms were bound and I was in a sex swing with my legs spread wide open with ankles cuffed to the chains holding up the swing, I still fought against having to say "mercy" as soon as she gave me the instruction.

Our eyes locked a lot and I know that she knew I was doing this by the look in my eyes as well as my groans and grunts when I would bear down. It definitely became a battle of wills while I was in the swing, with her using all kinds of tricks to torture me with pleasure to get me to fail and say the word. However, unlike with pain, where I have no problem using a safe word when it becomes too much there was no way I was going to say it. I was either going to win or completely and spectacularly going to fail.

This isn't the first time I have been put in that position (well, figuratively speaking... it was literally the first time I have been put in that physical position and it helped make it the toughest "battle" that I have ever had). I am sure my attitude of resistance comes from having actually had challenges from Dommes in this way before, although those were all based on conversations that led to the "orgasm battle". These are battles that I always love and have never failed at (although, now that I say it, I think I am the biggest dumbass in the world for believing that not having an orgasm is considered a victory) but they are the only time I can think of within sessions that my attitude goes from "Yes Mistress" to "Fuck you, you will not defeat me".

My question to the subs on the board is whether you have ever had this type of battle of wills that had you adopting a resistant attitude and if so, what type of play brings it on for you? How has the Domme reacted when you did resist?

For the Dommes, how do you react to it when a sub changes from just taking what you are doing to obviously resisting it in some way? Do you enjoy this battle of wills and does it drive something in you or do you get genuinely upset? Afterwards, does the overcoming or failure to overcome the sub's resistance effect your overall enjoyment of the session?

Don't keep us in suspense, Man! Who won?

I don't recall ever becoming defiant in the middle of the session like you describe. What I have done on quite a few occasions is what I described in my response to Dannysub's thread about consensual non-consent. Using X to make me do Y. Sometimes when I play that game I make it clear at the beginning I cannot escape doing Y by using a safeword. However all of those scenes X was painful. Very painful. The whole idea is to have the pain break your will.

I do what a story about fighting the urge to orgasm. In another thread I mentioned Switch C a stripper who did some BDSM things with me inside the club and a broader menu outside the club. We developed a certain game that became more complicated over time. Whoever "lost" the game suffered certain penalties. One of them was to go without an orgasm for a certain period of time.

When I lost the game I would sometimes go to the club towards the end of my denial period and let her do a lengthy set of lap dances. Normally in clubs like this the dancers want to keep the guy aroused but they do not want the client to cum. However in this case Switch C definitely did want it to happen because there were additional penalties if I came during this period.

One of those was that she would then immediately take me to the champagne room and thrash my ass with my belt. CP administered immediately after an orgasm hurt considerably more. She liked that fact. She is not the only one. In addition to her there have been 4 Dommes that have admitted to me they find it very hot and have done that to me. One of them used a Venus Pump on me. I tried to resist that device but it forced me to cum thrice which made the subsequent CP even worse than just once.

So in addition to ego I had an extra incentive not to cum (there were some other penalties as well). Nevertheless she sometimes succeeded in forcing me (not always!). That made her very happy.

As for begging that was something I sometimes did while role-playing back in the 20th Century but very rarely do anymore.

Sort of hard to say... I definitely was able to resist while on the swing (and believe me, it was ridiculously tough) but we got finished with that and she had me lay on the ground to give me a golden shower while she had me stroke myself (which I knew was no longer part of the resistance game so I was no longer fighting it). Of course the first stream was strong and hot and literally hit me right at the base of my balls, which made me scream "mercy". To which she replied very incredulously "THAT is what did it?!?"



I do think that is the same thing because I am talking about the attitude and not the act. I also totally understand what you mean about trying to resist and the rush that must come when she does break your will like that. However, I won't play that way because I always turn over my will at the beginning and my focus is always on pleasing the Domme by taking as much as I can without resisting. Anything else just feels wrong at some basic level to me (I know that this is just my own thing because what you do and your reactions in those situations is much more normal in the sub world).



Although not in the context of a session, I do think that is also the same thing that I am talking about where battling is the purpose. I have also told the story here about how one of my Dommes bet one of her escort friends that she couldn't make me cum within an hour and that I would have to double the cost of the session if I did (as well as losing her $250 in session fees because the escort would have gotten all of the money, but more importantly she would have lost face in front of a friend, so I am sure the penalties would have gone WAY beyond just monetary or just a little CP). I "won" that time as well and basically got to enjoy giving this woman multiple orgasms (female orgam is my biggest fetish) as well as totally pleasing my Domme (which is a close second) so the outcome was better than any orgasm could be.

As I said, I am undefeated in this and I am willing to challenge all Dommes who wish to take me on!!! (I can be all blustery and shit because none of them are gonna give me free play just to try to take the title belt to my ass after I lose).

It really depends on the situation and the "spirit" of the defiance. I think I would find the encounter you described fun. I also love interrogation scenes where resistance is part of the plan. I honestly can't recall a session where a sub genuinely resisted - I am sure it has to have happened, but evidently, it wasn't memorable.

On another topic . . . your and My idea of topping from the bottom is very different. I don't consider begging to be topping from the bottom. In many ways, it's a sign that I have been effective in getting a sub to a weakened state. In the scene you describe, when you said "mercy", that was spontaneous and would have excited Me greatly. That being said, I would rather a sub err on the side of reticence to prevent topping from the bottom - which is truly a pet peeve of most Dommes.

Mistress Ayn,

I actually didn't consider the use of the term "mercy" when I did it to be topping from the bottom. I definitely said it as communication to the Domme because I knew she wouldn't have expected that what she had done would have put me so close since it certainly wasn't the first time I had been under her like that (and based on her reaction I was right), but the stream just hit the exact right spot in the exact right way at the exact right moment.

I am also not sure our actual definitions of Topping from the bottom are so very different. But, I am not talking about what that generic definition is, rather I am talking about what is going on in my headspace during a session and that may not be outwardly apparent to the Domme since my approach is not standard for most clients.

In that headspace, any action that I take that may in some way affect the activities of the Domme is down that path and that path leads to my Dom side entering the equation (which I want nothing to do with when I am submitting). Begging for mercy as part of the activity to stop or effect an action by the Domme falls into that category for me (although as twisted as it sounds, REALLY begging based on something I desire so badly that I can't help it, really doesn't). Even, telling a Domme whether I enjoy or hate an activity as it is going on completely falls into that category.

For a long time, my very radical view of it actually effected my ability to communicate when I was in distress based on something that was obviously unintended by the Domme I was playing with. I have been trained out of that by Dommes bitching at me in the past so I no longer am as bad, but I still feel guilty when I have to use the term "yellow" (I never have guilt over saying "red" though as that is never about getting close to failure, but rather about protecting myself). I even still have guilt when responding to a Domme's question about pain levels of an activity, even though I know she needs this information to gauge what she is doing.

I know this makes me different and hypersensitive but it is just my innate way of submitting that is the flip side of TPE for me.

On the topic of begging I have another story about Switch C. It has a long version and a short version. I will go with the short version. One night while she was perched on my lap at the club she told me that she had dreamt about me recently. In her dream she had beaten my behind harder than usual and I begged her to stop. It should be noted that she and I were very open and frank with each so to this day I believe she really did have this dream.

I had never begged with her before. This was after the period when I did a lot of role-playing some of which involved begging. Anyway Switch C clearly wanted this dream to come true.

And it did. Sometimes begging is purely histrionic. Sometimes it is partially real. This time it was the latter. As I begged she kissed me twice on the cheek and thanked me.

I think that's awesome Thomas.

I get it. Begging or commenting on how something feels because you are what we call a "do me" sub is most definitely topping from the bottom, which I will sometimes tolerate and sometimes not - depending on the subs general attitude, My mood at the moment and if it fits My overall agenda. Begging or commenting because you have lost control, reason, etc. is a completely different situation. Those moments when a sub loses control is what I think we all live for.

I think we have discussed communication in session before. I love genuine responses that don't have an agenda. Groans, moans and even the occasional "fuck" are all good in the moment.

Oh.. I totally do all of that. I let myself go rather than being self-conscious so even though I generally lose the ability to talk when I go into subspace... However, groans, moans, lots of shaking and the occasional "fuck" are things I definitely don't hold back on and are not consciously done.

I do admit that I will even beg or reach rather than staying disciplined when I get totally crazed for something (and this does not make me feel guilty), so it is in the form you are talking about.

I tend to want to crack jokes and lighten moods. The few times I have reverted to that habit, I've been corrected, and the smile has been wiped off of my face quite quickly and effectively.

One time (in dealing with a wrestling/fighting domme), she threatened to punch me in the face. She seemed serious enough that I froze.

All this is to say that I'm fairly compliant these days. ROTFL!!

Luke... you are much braver than I am.

That kind of resistance is just asking for massive pain and I hate pain. I have one scary-ass and really sadistic Domme that I used to disrespect and taunt on Twitter (even using the hash tags #Domme #Taunting in some messages). In some cases it would literally get to the point that her friends would DM her and question why she let me get away with that while other subs would jump in to encourage her to "get me" since they knew they couldn't get away with the same thing.

Of course, she knew I was almost role-playing to allow her to threaten me with the nastiest punishments imaginable (which got her hot as well as actually attracting clients who wanted the incredibly creative and painful tortures that she was threatening me with). In session though (or even in the last 72 hours before a session), I would not say shit (other than actively pointing out the 72 hour rule as the reason I was suddenly so sweet and compliant when she messaged me).

LOL! Seriously!? You're FAR more man than I am! I would never even jokingly taunt a domme, lest she jokingly eff me up

"Luke...Luke...are you still laughing...isn't this funny, Luke? Where's all the jovial banter, Luke?"

ROFTLMAO!

I have a reputation for my wit but I almost always power down my sense of humor along with my cellphone at the beginning of a session.

Luke,

I was brave as fuck when I was several hundred miles away and I knew I wouldn't see her for a while. Of course, I was never like that when I was in arms reach because I like my balls and she had literally performed a castration on a sub once (although, to be fair, that was after a really long negotiation and him proving that it was truly something that he "needed" to have done as part of his life).

Of course, that didn't stop her from choking my ass out in front of a room full of people at a video shoot when I did give her some direction that involved a smart-ass comment, so I can't say I was always perfect in my judgment. However, she also knows how I feel about her and it was always both of us fooling around and having fun so I always got away with it. Plus, she was always gonna do whatever evil-ass thing crossed her mind at any given moment, so my behavior had very little effect of what I would have to endure when we got together. Such as the time her and another Domme had me tied up and blindfolded (among other things) in a hotel bathtub and were force feeding me fruit that had gotten frozen because the fridge was set to be too cold, then out of nowhere she decided to gut punch me as hard as she could because she wanted to see a rainbow of fruit come flying from my mouth as the air was expelled (this is another in the long list of in-session surprises that could have been included in your other thread).

Asp

Yea... In any decent session, I actually lose the ability to think, let alone talk or crack a joke. I have no comment about the cellphone thing though.

AspX, One very important question who is this "incredibly creative Domme."

I need to see her!