Deposit Lost from famous domme

Anyone encountered this?

It was a while back and a legit domme, with a strong online and video presence in Canada. I put in an application through her website and she responded confirming the dates, and asked for a $50 deposit by amazon giftcard.

Cut to the week itself, she cancelled abrutpy and offered a date which I would have left Canada by then. Despite several emails, I have not gotten the deposit back.

Anyone encountered this? I'm hesitant to name names, but it is a rather legit and well-known prodomme. This makes me now hesitant to place deposit except by Paypal because there is no recourse. Not only did I lose the deposit, the time I set aside was wasted (I could have seen someone else and that was the greater cost).

The experience you are describing is the major reason why so many subs don't want to pay deposits. I have heard, and read horror stories about abrupt cancellations with no refunds. The entire BDSM scene seems to be much sketchier with Twitter/X as it's main advertising platform.


Please publish her website URL. We need to know so she doesn't pull the same crap with other subs.

I had something similar happen a couple years ago. I posted about it here at the time. A legit, well known Domme from the West Coast was traveling to Florida. I booked a session for when she was her, gave a deposit (I think it was $100) and then about a day before the session she stopped responding. I know she was still in the area because she was posting about the trip on her Twitter feed.

I wrestled with posting her name here and calling her out about it on Twitter but ultimately did not. I emailed a couple times asking for my deposit back, got no response and decided to move on.

I will say, I have been sessioning many years and have given many deposits and this happened once. I still give deposits with no hesitation and have not had any other issues. It is extremely rare in my experience with established Dommes.

Sorry this happened to you.

This is the place to publish her website URL.

When was this? Vancouver?



There is a well known Canadian based Domme there who I had sessioned with before who didn't respond at all to a session request I sent both by email and then several days later via her contact forum on her website.(This was in the spring of 2022)

A little online sleuthing on a local review board turned up several complaints of her becoming a little erratic. A few reports of no response, last minute cancellations, taking a booking (and deposit) then going silent and even one report of a no show at a double domme session. At the same time there were glowing reviews still being posted.....and there have been positive reviews posted since so hard to know what to think. Maybe she was going through a bad period or got really busy and was overwhelmed with admin stuff? In any event it seemed out of character as the sessions I had with her were top notch and she seemed like a genuinely nice person.

One response to the bad reviews suggested it was more a case of her being very busy, poorly organized and a little flakey rather than actual malice.

Fortunately I've never had an issue with a deposit. The way I see it you are always taking a bit of a risk sending a deposit. You can reduce the risk to virtually zero by sessioning with an established and well known Domme but it will never be absolutely zero.

I am sorry this happened to you.

So far, this has never happened to me. I have only made good experiences with deposits - and I very much understand that a domina requests it.

But my point is a different one:
It is a common (and I agree polite) practice on this board that positive reviews are posted with the name of the domina, whereas negative reviews are anonymous.

I am not sure if this really is a service to the community. It somehow puts all dominas that fulfill the broader description under suspicion. (Speculation has already started on this thread).
What's the purpose of posting a negative event when not giving the community detailed enough information to avoid it?

I am so sorry that happened to you. I think a measured review in the appropriate section of this site is relevant. Dommes need deposits these days, or it would be a shit show. Clients need to know that we are safe when giving deposits.

Being a professional means being professional. Things come up, even at the last minute, but this means being able to make things right. If a domme was practicing unsafe or unethical practices, it's good for everyone to know.

Again, be measured in your post's words. State facts and perhaps your feelings. Insults or inflammatory language will backfire on you. This post tells me that you are capable of a calm presentation of the facts.

+1

Dommes who deceive for the purpose of theft are criminals. They need to be put on blast! It is a disservice to withhold their identities. It is also a disservice to legitimate Mistresses.

Agree in principle but in this case I don't know.......

What established and well known Domme is going to deliberately start scamming $50 Amazon cards? Seems pretty small potatoes. I wonder if it isn't a case of a Domme to busy and/or too lazy to return the deposit afterr the client declined the alternate date offered rather than an actual scam?.......or if the issue just got lost in her crazy full inbox

Soyez calmes mes chéris.

It doesn't sound like a scam. Something happened. We can discuss it, and perhaps the domme in question will make it right, or we can see how she responds. I doubt she will tank her reputation for fifty bucks.

Goodness knows I have had my share of "life blowing up, and now I can't meet my obligations" times. Most, not all, people have been graceful in allowing me to make it right. I don't like it either because I want trust when people make deposits (deposits are not going anywhere; they are here to stay). Fifty bucks is a poor business practice needing to be called out, not a witch hunt.

Agreed.

I can't see their being ill intent, not for a lousy $50. Probably just too disorganized resulting in an oversight in not getting the deposit back.

^this.

Forgive me if I’m a bit of a contrarian on this. My experience losing a deposit two years ago changed my perspective a bit.

I think well known doesn’t necessarily mean what it used to. In the internet age, well known can just mean very present online. I rely much more heavily these days on referrals and asking Dommes I know if they know so and so.

I also don’t know that illegitimately keeping someone’s deposit will tank a Domme’s reputation anymore. Especially in my case and the OP’s case where travel was involved. If a NYC Domme (as example) stole my deposit I would very likely pass that on to a number of awesome, amazing NYC Domme’s I know. When it’s someone on the West Coast, I don’t really have that option. I could post here, certainly. It’s a safe space, I think I have enough history here to be taken seriously but would that post tank her reputation. Probably not. I could tweet about it but most of my followers are bots lol and she would certainly block me. I suspect my tweet would quickly be lost to the sands of time/internet churn.

But what might she do? If I gave my real name (not uncommon these days) she could dox me in retaliation. Even if she didn’t do that, she very well may black list me. Do I have “receipts”, yes. Is anyone going to read my email history to confirm my story. Probably not. Would I win in small claims court, 100% yes. Will I win in an internet fight with an established Domme, no at least not in my opinion

I should also add I don’t think in either case the Domme was running a scam. I suspect both regularly take deposits, honor them, and have sessions. I just think in both cases it may have been more of a “oh well, shit happens, plans change, what are you gonna do about it” type attitude. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. That is at least my suspicion

I’m not anti deposit. Not at all. I’m just a bit more selective these days. The Dommes I play with are rock stars. I trust them completely. I’ve just learned that imo sexy chat on SP, a strong Twitter game and website doesn’t guarantee you’re ethical.

If a disreputable Domme with criminal intentions schedules 42 sessions for a fraudulent US tour. Then takes $50 to $100 dollars per deposit that's roughly $3100 dollars. High Profit for setting around the pool in LA, or Vancouver.

Not a very sustainable business model...

Yes, to clarify, I am quite confident in that it is not an intentional scam, ie that she did not set out with the intent of not honouring the session.

What most likely happened was that something came up, or she made plans to be not in town, she had to cancel, I would have left town by the time she was back and she couldn't be bothered to refund me my deposit.

Whether she does it regularly or it was just me I don't know, but I've asked for the refund thrice and didn't get it. And I gave up after three tries because it didn't seem likely anymore.

As someone from a smaller city I think it would be the last minute cancelation that would bother me the most. From the post it seems like it was unexplained as well. I get that life happens but I wonder if Dommes understand how disappointing something like this can be for the client. At the very least the client was owed an explanation.

I only get to session with established Dommes with a dedicated, well equipped dungeons when I travel. Sometimes I'm making a special trip or adding onto a trip specifically to see a Domme. Seeing as today's scene requires far more advanced planning rebooking with another Domme is often impossible at short notice. 30-40 years ago bookings were by phone and you could often get a booking sameday or within 24 hours but not today. Email exchanges alone often take days.

While I agree that it is highly unlikely this Domme deliberately decided to steal $50 she certainly ruined what I expect were much anticipated plans. I know if it happened to me I'd be like a 5 year old who got told on Dec 24 that Christmas was cancelled

I see the actual bad behaviour here as not expressing regret and giving an explanation and in not returning the deposit as soon as the client declined the alternate date. To just stop responding is very poor manners and very unprofessional.

Yes you are spot on in that, there is not a lot for us to gain despite being very well established subs (at least locally for me) to put my name out there and risk a showdown/mudslinging over $50 or even $100.

That's why I'm hesitant to post the Domme's name because she is reputable and legit.

She's definitely not a scam, but just couldn't be bothered with the process of refunding me.

Yes you're spot on.

That was the especially disappointing part as people from smaller places without established dommes look forward and make plans well in advance to see famous/world famous dommes.

And that means an opportunity cost to not see another equally well known or established domme.

When the plan is cancelled at the last minute, one loses not only the $50/100 deposit, but also end up sitting in the hotel room wasting the time, especially since another well establisehd domme would not accept a last minute booking on short notice.

I see what you are saying, but 42 sessions in one tour??? If a colleague of mine said she had more than 15 sessions in a tour, I wouldn't believe her, or I would be booking my flight that minute.

The session itself is the least work and most fun part of my job. I can't imagine putting all the work into setting up advertising, the constant emails and phone calls, and the hours of admin to leave money on the table for the part I actually like.

Well, you have to admit the admin side would get a whole lot easier if you had no intention of ever showing up lol. No need for screening, don’t have to worry about your schedule, no need to secure a space. Just put up the ad and collect deposits.

Might work once or twice but I'm not seeing it as a repeatable business model. There are review boards social media etc and I suspect the word would get out fairly quickly.

Maybe I have been doing it wrong for all these years. . . .



Nah. I'm okay with my ways. Too old to change them now.

That's why I think it's okay to (gently, reasonably) call her out and let her make some changes.

Repeat/regular clients are the only way to survive this business. FemDom is too niche to take clients for granted.

My original intent wasn't to focus on a single domme, to change her, or to get anything back, but to discuss the issue of how sub-clients can protect their own interests.

Dommes safeguard their time from timewasters through deposits, but sub-clients are putting their deposit, and in some cases like mine, travel plans at risk when we generally are unknown entities and don't have much recourse.

Nevertheless, given the strong encouragement here, I shall share that it is https://mistressdamazonia.com

Another sub whom messaged me guessed correctly, so I guess I wasn't an isolated incident.

He also felt that I should point out that I wasn't informed of the cancellation, but found out by chance from a twitter post that she was planning to be away.

My first reply in this thread was referring to this Domme as well. My experience was back about 2 years ago.

In the US, my young doms friends are booked nearly every waking moment when touring. 42, one hour sessions, on a tour I can see that if the session was at least 7 days long. When I traveled for session, years back, the demand was to more than I could humanly do. It was like that at home dungeons, at times, too. But, it can be so different geographically and just different times in our world...maybe the alignment of the stars. I just couldn't do it on a frequent basis emotionally. Playtime is fun. I agree that it is the most enjoyable part of the job. Too much of it could mess up my head where I needed a take a break to get back to reality. It is probably different for everyone.

To the OP.....I must admit I'm a little surprised there has been no reaction to your disclosing the name of the Domme in question. Perhaps because it's buried in the middle of the thread it wasn't noticed?

I don't think this issue is a huge or egregious offense on her part but it does seem to display a certain lack of respect for her clientele. Especially as you say you made 3 requests to have the deposit refunded after she cancelled the booking.

I would think the more high profile a Domme is the more likely she has subs travelling especially to see her. Last minute cancelations on her part part (unless absolutely unavoidable) seem poor behaviour and quite disrespectful.

+1

If a Domme rips a sub off... we need to know who she is.

Posting a URL does not violate the rules on this site.

It dosen't matter how many sessions, if none are real.

These Twitter/X ripoff queens are a PLAUGE on pro BDSM!

Really? That sure is a lot. When I had a fully functional house of domination with a receptionist in Midtown Manhattan, I maxed out at 25-27 sessions weekly. This was working 11 hours a day, seven days a week. To be perfectly honest, the quality of my sessions suffered. I only have so much to give. Maybe I'm not as strong as these young dommes, but 42 in a week sounds impossible.

These days, I know I have 10-12 hours to give to sessions a week, but it is usually less. By keeping this boundary, I can maintain the quality and connection required for good playtime.

Respectfully, 42 sessions does not compute for me as an achievable number. I know you have more experience than me, but in 27 years of being a domina, I've never come close to that number.

I've always been interested in the business aspects of pro domination. When you talk "sessions" per week are you assuming hour long sessions?

I've always wondered about just how many paid hours a full time Domme would do in an average week. Also about how many hours of admin, promotion, session preparation or cleanup are needed to support each of those active "in session" hours.

It's easy to see session rates of 300-400+ per hour and think "wow! she's making a mint" but when you stop and think about overhead like gear and studio costs as well as unpaid hours spent supporting the business that calculation changes a lot.

Tracking my time invested in all the work surrounding sessions for years--it was 5-6 hours for every session hour. Working 10-12 hours of paid sessions seems like nothing until you realize it's a 60-hour work week.

Deposits (back to the original post topic) have cut this to about 3 hours. My income has not changed, but I have a life now. It's glorious. The quality of my sessions has also improved because I can be present and prepared for each appointment. I wouldn't want to do more than 15 a week, though that is very rare. The amount of emotional labor I put into my sessions, which makes them a good experience for everyone, is limited.

Perhaps someone is doing 42 sessions a week. Me, I am not a fetish dispensing machine. Thinking about 42 sessions in one week makes me want to take a nap.

That's a huge reduction in unpaid hours. I never would have guessed it would be that much. ...all from having a deposit policy? I assume it's due to weeding out time wasters faster and earlier in the process?

Knowing that it makes that much of a difference it's hard to begrudge a Domme requiring a deposit.

My booking form is directly on my calendar. Clients can book directly, block out their appointment, and make the deposit all in one go—and even change it on their own. This saves me an amazing amount of time.

In the three years I have used this system, I have only had one unacceptable booking, so I immediately canceled it and refunded the deposit.

I still have to maintain my dungeon--keeping it cleaned and stocked, answering questions from some emails, doing photoshoots, putting up ads, and posting on damned social media, but fielding multiple time wasters each hour is not my problem.

I've always thought NYC and LA as being their own world in relation to ProDom. In Columbus, Ohio where I started out, it was slamming busy. There was not enough hours in the day for all of the session requests. When I started to travel, it because I was getting bored with my own dungeon. Chicago, Raleigh, Detroit...I can't think of a place that wasn't crazy busy. But, different day, different time, I guess. Kink is mainstreamed now, so that could be a factor.

"If a disreputable Domme with criminal intentions schedules 42 sessions for a fraudulent US tour. Then takes $50 to $100 dollars per deposit that's roughly $3100 dollars. High Profit for setting around the pool in LA, or Vancouver."

Respectfully, I didn't say 42 per week. I said 42 per a fraudulent US tour. If you are not doing the sessions, just stealing deposits you could schedule 500, or 1500.

I sessioned with you at your Midtown location in the Murray Hill area. Super nice Dungeon with custom made equipment. I think you said Sonny Black made it. You were beautiful, talented, and the session quality was excellent.

Aww, thank you for sharing that. It warms my heart. I'm glad to hear you had a good experience. I know there was a time when I got incredibly burnt out, and the quality of my sessions suffered. Fortunately, that was not our case.



I appreciate your candor in allowing me to respectfully flush this out with you. None of us are immune from knee-jerk reactions. Thankfully, this is not Twitter; we can take time to have some thought-out discussions longer than micro-blogging.

What I am trying to say to you is that the scenario you laid out is entirely plausible but not at all probable. Someone could set up a presence and tours with no intention of fulfilling the sessions, but it would have to be a lot of work to do so deceitfully. I mean, FinDom is a thing; they could do that, and it would be at least more honest and sustainable. I've met a lot of dominas worldwide, and I have heard a lot of, quite frankly, dumb business plans/ideas, but never something like scamming deposits. The most significant indicator of whether a real-time domme will succeed is if she respects her subs. I can tell you fetish clients are pretty savvy. A business model based on clients being "stupid" or "broken losers" will fail.

I think a much more likely scenario is poor time management and setting up expectations that can't be followed through. When I looked at the domme in question, she appeared real, invested in her business, and did a lot to promote herself well. The only red flag I saw was that she really had a lot going on. It is so difficult to juggle travel, content creation, and real-time sessions. My guess (and I don't know, maybe she will join the discussion with her side) is that there was so much going on that she did not prioritize the sessions for which she had deposits. Not respecting deposits will lead to people not booking, and maybe she will stay with content creation.

I've said this before, but I think ProDomination is fracturing into niches. Being a FinDom or content creator can be counterproductive to real-time sessions. I don't begrudge those who have the Uber-Bitch, "I'm going to ruin you and your family," Queen of Mean" parasocial presence, but I wonder how they expect to get deposits that normally include sensitive information with this persona.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.



Her own protocol aside, deposits by Amazon gift card are not ideal because, aside from the risk with a TOS violation, they are not refundable.



If you have attempted to reach her several times, hopefully in different places, like her email and social media, and she has not replied, then I personally believe you have a right to post a review in which you mention what happened. I would keep it matter-of-fact and leave as much emotion or speculation out of it as possible.

I think we all need to give each other the benefit of the doubt in these kinds of circumstances, as it could be a misunderstanding, but when someone contacts a Domme multiple times and receives no reply it starts to look deliberate.

It will be zero with the the most professional of us.

I agree with everything Domina M said.

I think so, too, but it's also possible that there are some Dommes who might take advantage of their notoriety, assuming that no one will say anything -- and if they do no one will believe them.



Yes, agreed.

It could be disorganization or it could be her protocol. Does she say she doesn't offer refunds under any circumstances? That may be the explanation, though she should have at least replied to one of the messages to reiterate this.

I think when it comes to any difficulty we encounter with a Domme, or anyone, really, is to see if it's a singular incident or a pattern. This is why it's helpful to make note of something so others can know that their experience wasn't unique.

42 sessions in a week is 6 sessions a day.

Only if you're dreaming.

I'm surprised that 6 hours of session time in a day is unthinkable for anyone. My young dom friends are easily getting that many while on tour. I did as when I was active, whether at my home base or traveling. 6 hours doesn't sound excessive at all to me as far as demand. Being certain to take time off to replenish energy and have time for your personal life is the challenge. But, I a mentioned earlier, there are other factors to take into account. To the OT, I don't find the person's claim far fetched at all.

It is extremely disappointing and it’s no surprise to me that the discussion has just gone off the rails into how many hours is feasible for a prodomme per week.

Honestly I expected there to be very little appetite to hold an established prodomme to account for her actions.

For travelers, the $50 deposit is just the tip of the iceberg, the extra hotel stay, the fees in changing flight etc can be a few times that.

Legit dommes are not going to set out to scam $50, that I absolutely agree that it makes no sense.

But consider this scenario, a prodomme accepted a booking for a month away by a traveler. That is usually further than the time frame that locals book (usually within the week), but she accepts it because why not?

A couple of weeks later, she makes agrees to travel with her friends or to attend an event in another city, or makes some other travel plans. Work (pro domming) is the last thing on her mind right now and she completely forgets about checking her schedule.

Nearer to date, just before she sets off on her travel, she announces that she would not be available during those days. The traveler sees the announcement and checks in with her. Oppsie daisies, but she doesn’t care. The guy is an unknown traveler who wouldn’t represent much lost future business anyway.

Traveler asks for deposit back, she doesn’t care. Why take the effort and money to purchase an Amazon card back for him when she can conveniently click on the delete email button instead?

What can he do to her? Post a thread ? Accost her on her twitter?

Would you consider that intentional malice? I don’t know, and I agree she didn’t set out to scam, but the lack of consideration was truly disappointing. I not only lost the deposit but incurred the cost of hotel and flight change for nothing.

It was her cancellation and not mine so I don’t think her protocol comes into play here. When I first confirmed that she forgot our appointment she did reply that she would refund, but she ignored subsequent emails (2-3).

Like others have said, it is unfortunate that this happened to you, especially since it was so easily avoidable. I agree with you and others others that this was not a preplanned rip off, but once you made her aware of it, and she failed to keep her commitment to refund your deposit, then in my opinion it did become a rip off even if only for $50. She took, and then kept your money despite telling you she would refund it. What else should it be called once she promised and then refused to refund tour money ?

Fortunately, the vast majority of ProDommes are as honest and trustworthy as the expect their clients to be. I know this from personal experience.

I think you are correct that she doesn't feel that there will be any consequences for this, and she is probably right about that. Maybe she has more clients and sessions than she can possibly handle, but I would like to think that at least one potential client who was considering sessioning with her has read this thread and decided otherwise.

I hate that you were not treated properly when you went through the protocol most of us who value our subs and slaves put in place to not be scammed only to end up being scammed. As other wonderful ladies have posted, most of us who are reputable, would not ruin our reputations over a deposit.

As for the scenario you gave, everyone is different HOWEVER, Dommes of a high caliber will not re-scehdule appointments in order to go "hang out" when sessions have been booked in advance. Many of us actually respect our clients, subs, and slaves. In my experience, one of the key determining factors of a good session is to build trust and rapport, two things that only come from actually being about one's word and creating an experience where you do not have to question My integrity so that you show up to My session, trust in hand, knees ready to kneel, and mind ready to serve.

As for your expenses, sometimes we face these from our side when people do the same thing that was done to you unfortunately and I understand, it sucks. All in all, do your research and don't let this experience hamper future ones, check deposit terms before booking and communicate with the Domme you want to session with.

Don't lose sight of the forest over one tree.


____________________________
GiaPeccato.com

Well said. It is a poor reflection on the industry when a well known dom does something this. At that point, even doing one's homework didn't help. A long time client and close friend of mine booked an extended session with a highly thought of dom, who I always knew to be a cool person. Never in 100 years would have thought that she'd cancel the session and keep his $600. deposit. She had good reason to cancel but $600? I never invited her to shoot with ClubDom again. It did have a silver lining though. Between my being retired and my former client's first time booking with someone else, he started dating women who were interested in kink. It took a few years but he has a long time live in girlfriend who adores him and enjoys most of the aspects of fetish that he does. They are both tremendously happy. It doesn't replace an actual session but, in other ways, it is better for him.

This being said, it is extremely rare an established and respected dom would keep a deposit. But, it does happy. She lost a great client over it. He would have been a frequent and reliable who isn't on a budget....over scamming him out of $600.

I am just wondering for context. Did you travel to Vancouver for the sole purpose to see this Domme?

Maybe it started going to her spam folder, or was lost in a deluge of email, maybe contact another Domme that works with her in Vancouver, and see if she can pass on the message. Word the message like you feel that maybe your emails are not reaching her.

I have had sessions with her (multiple Domme Sessions), and have had no issues.

po

WOW! I am shocked that someone would do that, canceling is one thing, but to keep a deposit when it's the Domme that cancelled... ehm... that's a bad look. I'm glad your friend found a partner who shares his interests. As for the Domme that did that to your friend, she definitely missed out on a great client. I truly don't understand why someone would do that, long term subs are awesome, the relationships that flourish and the way sessions evolve are truly priceless.


______________________
GiaPeccato.com

There are a lot of scam Dommes out there! Just look at Tryst sometime. Open pandering, pay me for existing, buy me this, buy me that! These bitches are buzzards feeding of the corpse of BDSM! I earned my leather, every inch of it! Most of these Twitter/X "Mayven's" don't even know what that means!

The worst part is it effects the entire scene. When the base element is exalted, the top has nowhere to go except down!

All I can say is, be very careful, and think with the right head!

A Domme with a "what are you gonna do about it" attitude took $1,200 off me, and concern about doxing was why I never tried to tell anyone about it. She also had a strong strong online and video presence, occasionally posted on the old maxfisch boards, once or twice attended the Order Of Indomitus event, in all ways a legitimate upstanding member of the kink community, etc. She's still in business 7 years later. Just goes to show you never can tell.

I couldn't imagine doing that. I would hope there was a miscommunication, but obviously not if she is ignoring your messages.

My Mother fell and fractured her hip this last December. I refunded three deposits while she was having hip replacement surgery. I've worked hard to gain the trust of my submissives, The last thing I would do is throw that all away by cancelling and taking the deposit.

Please Post her URL. The only way to stop this outrageous behavior is to make it public. $1200 is a lot of money! Don't let her get away with it. If she is still offering sessions other subs have a right to know who she is.

Yes she's still offering sessions (seems quite busy), yes $1,200 is a lot of money, yes it would be good for other subs to know, but she has my name and details, and I still don't want to get doxxed and outed. I got over losing $1,200 faster than I think I'll get over being doxxed!

If she has your details, is the money you lost worth risking being doxxed and outed in retaliation?

Yes, if someone conned me out of 1200 dollars, I would move Heaven & Earth to fuck them up!

Cheyenne, aren't you involved in the Order of Indomitus. Perhaps you can shed some light on the subject?

No, I'm not involved in the Order of Indomitus. Michelle Lacy and I are close friends. I let her use my space for her events before she bought her own. We've always done favors for each other, personal and professional. But, I don't know anything about the events, except my late husband, who attended a few of them thought they were a blast. I know Michelle to be an outstanding and honest person of integrity. But, she can't be accountable for what someone who worked at one of her events did on their own time. I will reach out to Michelle and ask her to check this thread out. She stays pretty busy but, hopefully, she'll pop in here.

Please don't bother Mistress Michelle Lacy, it's not her responsibility it's nothing to do with her, she's in no way involved! I only mentioned it as a sign it wasn't just some random "fuck you, pay me" twitter Domme without even their own website, it was someone properly plugged into the BDSM scene, who has attended respectable events with proper OG Dommes.

I don't really desire any negative outcomes for her.

It was just personally disappointing because I incurred not only the deposit, but other costs to set aside time to session with her.

Like others have pointed out, an amazon giftcard isn't the best way to go about a deposit, but it saves Paypal fees, and I wrongly thought things couldn't go wrong with an established domme like her.

It's just a lesson learnt for me that even with a famous or established domme, things can go wrong.

No I didn't, but I paid for a day of hotel stay and a fee for changing my flight for that.

Thanks for your encouragement.

It's a lesson of sorts, as this is the first and only time I've lost a deposit.

In my initial years, I have encountered less than professional dommes (ie not skilled or "strippers with ships"), so have learnt how to screen out legit and professional dommes, but how I've also learnt that I can't blindly trust based on reputation. It still has to be built up slowly.

I would totally understand if an emergency came up and got my deposit back. Life happens sometimes and there are things more important than work or sessions.

What was disappointing in my case was not only (1) the deposit not being refunded, but (2) that I was not informed, and only found out through an announcement that she would not be around.

Sorry for any confusion, I just meant even people who attend respectable events with proper OG Dommes, can themselves be a little bit dodgy. It's nothing to do with Mistress Lacy or Indomitus itself.

I’m not trying to mitigate her behavior in this. I was just wondering and I empathise with you.

It's rotten that this happened to you. Any Domme I've invited to Indomitus has been pretty darn amazing with an incredible reputation and I only had 1 dud and didn't invite them back after 2015 (my first few events).

I can only remember 1 LA domme and she takes 50-100% deposits, not $100, that seems like a total scammer amount, but I'm not saying this didn't happen.

This person is really into being professional and having a good reputation so I'm not sure if they did this on purpose or if something got lost. Again, this is also classic scammer behavior.

I personally have a stellar reputation but have had session emails start going to spam and thought people were completely flaking.
I had to learn to check everywhere, all the time, with the amount this happens. I've also given people my booking line and they've entered it wrong and were calling the wrong person for the confirmation and address. They NEVER even bothered to look that they dialed it wrong. Blasted me all over the place. Then figured out what they did and apologized.

Things happen.

I'm sorry it happened to you but it may have been innocent. I would write to the domme and as long as you are very kind about it, but disappointed, and hoping she might explain, I'm sure you're ok. I've never had anyone in my OOI circle be the type who would ever harm or dox anyone, not ever. In fact, not a single one of them would dare tarnish their rep over $100 or even $10,000. These women are usually successful and absolute gems. But they are mimicked by scammers CONSTANTLY and sadly, VERY realistically.

Just contact the 1 LA domme. As thought, she remembered the 2 people who contacted her but didn't send deposit bc she told them the timing wouldn't work. She didn't have sessions lined up. She only takes as confirmed, 50% or more deposits for at least 6+ years now.

Her and I can't even think of any LA dommes who went other than her. She is looking and concerned as a professional, but has 0 record of anyone sending her $100 for a session deposit, the $100 amount is really weird to her (and to me) as is, her taking it and running and ruining a potential relationship and her own rep.

Hiya -- is this message referring to me? I believe I'm the only OOI Priestess from LA. I would love some clarification on this as I didn't have any outside sessions booked when I came to Florida for both trips. I also stopped taking $100 deposits in 2017. Did you book through my website? I have a lot of impersonators.

Either way, please do let me know as I'm not really in the business of stealing a $100 deposit here and there and would rather not be associated with that.

Off topic, but welcome to The Buzz!

Not a LA Domme. West coast was referring to west coast of Canada. (Vancouver). Elsewhere in this thread the OP later identified the Domme as Mistress Damazonia. This took place a couple of year’s ago.

West coast was referring to Vancouver, not LA

OP posted Domme’s identity later in this thread on 04/18

Thank you but I actually wasn't replying to the main post I was replying to somebody who answered the thread saying that a West Coast domme went to OOI in FL and scammed him out of $100.

I am confused because you are saying you lost a deposit 2 years ago I have not had a person at an event of mine from Los Angeles in the past 2 years.
I was alerted about this thread because supposedly somebody came to an event of mine from the West Coast and may have scammed you out of $100 but nobody from there has been there. Are you thinking of a different year?

An Li last came in 2021, who chimed in hoping to help in the chance she had an accidental oversight and would have wanted to make it right, even though she doesn't take 100 dollar deposits.

I will say and many will verify, An Li is the most impersonated dominatrix I have ever seen by a landslide. If one famous dominatrix has 10 scammers a year she has 200. The amount of social media accounts that are created with her likeness is absolute insanity. Many scammers will tell you "sure yes I'm going to that event yes yes of course yes." They will go along with whatever you present to them. Not all of them ask for big money some of them just ask for small potatoes.

Actually that seems high to you but that is extremely small potatoes to women that probably make $350 to $450,000 a year bc they DONT scam people...$ they'd never see if they did this. Use that noggin. They'd quickly be called out. By dozens or hundreds of people.

Ah, now that I look again more closely that's clear. Sorry about that. I find it difficult to keep everything straight sometimes when a discussion has a lot of responses to earlier responses

Really nice to see you posting here. I've been a fan (and a follower on Twitter) for some time.

I have done 7 and 8 appointments per day for several days on tour. These are 1 to 2hrs with maybe 1 that's 3hrs. Some touring dommes do. Not all. You have to really have the high energy for it and the multitasking thing down. Very low anxiety. How I work and play as calmly as I do gives my friends anxiety.

It's very hard. The method of sanitation and bringing extra toys and many sport sheets etc was a whole operation in itself as well as organization. Normally most in a day if not all are regulars so that is what makes it even possible. You're calmer knowing them you've seen them 50 times.

42 is a high # and exhausting but it's possible, I refuse to take a very high amount any longer. I was burning myself out hard.
That was @ 2017-2019. I could see 4 or 6 now but not 7 or 8, with some 2 to 3 session days and (gasp) a day off.

No worries! I was just trying to clarify!

Someone had alerted me to this thread and said someone came to OOI from the West Coast and ripped someone off for 100 bucks.

After reading the whole thread I now see there's 2 different posts in this thread being confused.

One is someone ripped off 100 bucks by a west coast domme traveling to FL.


Another is you being ripped off by an attending OOI Mistress. Please refer to all of my replies here as they are likely intended for you and not the original person I replied to.

Some OOI Mistresses are some of the catfished/scammer targeted accounts to be faked that I've ever seen, one person posed as Isobel and snagged 1k from someone once and the person scammed showed up at Isobels other job threatening her. So this stuff is no joke.

If I can help or even lend an ear confidentiality me know. I'd rather not have someone back if they did something like this. I'd also like to help figure out if it was them in the first place. I won't even discuss it with them.

I only brought An Li into this thread bc originally thought it was a West Coast domme and I've known her for yrs to be a pro on a level which should be an example and the standard and I know she'd have tried to help if it was (what we thought was $100) oversight) and she'd never harm/dox anyone and only try to help. Obviously it's not her as she confirmed she never had FL scenes lined up.

Apologies to the thread readers I should have read the whole thread before replying. I got a few replies down and saw West Coast domme to FL and thought I found the victim of an OOI Mistress.

Forgive the researcher in me for wanting to summarize this thread:

1) OP (Dominions) lost a $50 deposit to a Vancouver Domme on a trip he was making there. He later identified this Domme as Mistress Damazonia

2) I lost a $100 deposit to a Los Angeles Domme who was traveling to the Ft Lauderdale area

3) Moth to a Flame lost a $1,200 deposit to a Domme who had in the past attended OOI events once or twice

Just wanted to clarify as my incident had no relation to Mistress Michelle or OOI, it just happened to be in FL. And from what MTAF posted, his had nothing to do with Mistress Michelle or OOI either other than being with a Domme who had attended OOI in the past

On a side note, this is now the most replied to topic on this board! So much for it being dead around here!!!

Firstly, just to clarify again to anyone reading, my issue had nothing to do with Mistress Lacy or Indomitus, I was only pointing out that just because someone is deeply embedded in the professional scene and attends very respectable, super prestigious events, doesn't necessarily mean they won't ever do anything problematic. Though I suppose that goes for subs just as much as Dommes.


Thank you very much for the kind offer, but it was long enough ago that it doesn't matter anymore, I only posted to commiserate and because it felt good to finally say something after so long, even if I didn't give the full details. I didn't say anything for years, because who wants to tell everyone they got played? And I won't give details because who wants to deal with doxxing? If I had the choice of getting 10X the money back + drama, or no money and peace, I'd choose peace every time.


I understand, but I'm not angry or hateful enough to want to fuck with her career. If it was a one off, maybe she's feels regret and won't do it again, it's been long enough for her to become a different, better person? And if not, and she's still doing it, well these things have a way of catching up with you eventually, sooner or later she'll scam the wrong person and we'll all read about it in the papers!

It absolutely was her, I wasn't catfished, I'd previously sessioned with her IRL. I don't think it was intended as a scam, just not wanting to follow through on the commitment after making it and not wanting to give the money back either. I believe Pro-domming work is very feast or famine, and perhaps she was just going through a tight spot due to life events?
Or maybe she didn't want to session with me for whatever reason, but needed the money? Still, my assumption is that if you can't accept the client, it's probably better not to take and keep the money.

I understand and I'm sorry for the confusion to everybody here as I definitely became mixed up with so many things going on in the thread.

I wouldn't have personally said something to the mistress I would have just avoided having her back in the future and telling her that the event was filled up. It usually is anyway.

It's beyond kind of you as a human being to Let It Go because you don't want to hurt her career. On one hand I'm happy you were not scammed but on the other hand I'm just beyond sorry that this even happened to you. A huge deposit like that is not some kind of oversight.

I will say that unfortunately even well-known well-connected people with beautiful websites all the right photos and all of the many years of experience can still turn out to be people who end up taking your money and that's something that makes me feel really bad.

Occasionally people exist for decades in this industry who have a lot of issues hidden under those beautiful photos. Even on our side of things we are fooled by that and we ask people to work events we team up with people who we think are fabulous people in the industry and we slowly or quickly learn that they are kind of not great. Sometimes it's a bipolar thing and they are off medication. So it's something that doesn't come out all the time where they can actually have a career that lasts a while and you would never experience it but then someone does and then a few people do but then there's 100 more appointments that go perfect after that....


I will say that I do try my best to associate myself with upstanding professional people and usually if someone starts slowly showing me a different side to them I will slowly distance myself from working with them and associating with them.

As I said, if you have reached out to the Domme multiple times and she is not responding, and you can give a factual account of the incident, then post it in the reviews section.

Just present all the facts and remove speculation. Such as: how you contacted her, what website you did it through, if the email and phone was definitely hers, did you actually spoke with her, etc.

We want to be sure that the deposit you sent didn't actually go to Deepak in India.

$1200 is a lot to try to get away with if you're a reputable Domme.

Are you absolutely sure it was her?

Welcome, Mistress Michelle!



I think he just said West Coast and not LA in particular.

The OOI Domme was $1200 from Moth To a Flame.

I'd previously sessioned with her in real life and I wasn't using any new contact methods and I have other "receipts", so yes, I'm absolutely 100% sure.

Did she give me much, if any, reason as to why or how she justified keeping the $1200?

And, the $1200 was deposit for a multiple hour long session?

+1