Stables

Are Mistresses still interested in building slave stables. I served a Louisville Mistress in the 90s who's training was intended to enslave-own me. Her stated goal was to add me to her growing slave stable. It's a term I never hear any longer. Has the concept gone out of vogue? Are Dommes not interested in creating slaves anymore?

I'm not a dominatrix and I don't play one on T.V., but I seen posts from prodommes over the years stating that it just isn't worth it to train slaves. Too much drama for too little work returned.

I know a few, but they have different motives. Sometimes, it's client hoarding with no real connection; sometimes, it's a social thing; sometimes, it's found best in poly relationships, but it's not presented as a stable.

I have regular clients who I also view as friends, but I don't forbid them to see anyone else. Personal slaves came from friends who liked serving me organically. Still, I never had a stable.

It's a lot of work. I have stuff to do. I love to play, but outside of that, I'm pretty dull, and I really value my alone time hobbies--like running alone, reading, and cooking. I think I am an independent and capable person who doesn't feel trading my private, alone time for tasks I can almost always do better myself is a good trade-off. Especially when slaves realize it is not as sexy as they had it in their minds and leave.

I think the fem domme discipline is dying out. What happened was baby boomer parents wouldn't whoop the crap out of their kids everyday as their parents had done to them.

Instead, following generations are into sex fluidity to the point of lopping off their junk.

"what's with it, with kids these days?"

I ended up building a stable somewhat unintentionally. I was brought up as a Domme with the classic view to keep slaves and train them to be MINE. This only works when you have good chemistry and both parties are equally dedicated.

I've gone through a lot of subs who believe they are meant to be slaves but really just fantasize about it without putting in the work, and that can be exhausting. There's also so many subs that think once they're collared or owned that they shouldn't have to pay for sessions or your time anymore, and that's kind of the point of being a ProDomme! The trick is to find the slave that realizes paying your hourly IS serving YOU and doesn't diminish the true connection of that D/s relationship. Rent doesn't get paid on good intentions.
It's one of the reasons I think it's not so popular anymore-- Its a lot of work and sorting through the bad to get to real connections.

This process is also a lot of work, time, and energy outside of doing regular sessions. I've had a lot of success with some of My slaves being in other cities; there's some separation and less time commitment on a regular basis. It's easier just to tell them to show up when I need them rather than have them constantly waiting for instructions in My own city, it sets a healthy boundary.

100% this! Although I do miss having a couple of handy boys I could call in a pinch for house repairs. My collared boys never exceeded 4 and now I am down to two. Having a stable isn't as glamorous as most people think. You nailed it, Domina M.

I personally never really connected with the idea of a "stable". I like horses but don't think of my clients like little horses I collect. I prefer something more like "devotees". But even that makes me twitch.

That said, nearly every single person who has called themselves a "slave" or said they want slave training is, in fact, not that and not interested in that. What they are interested in is the *fantasy* of those things, which is very different than what we consider a "slave" in BDSM culture. As a result, I don't attempt to cultivate a
"stable". I just give people some leeway to call themselves slave because it's hot for them. And me, too. And if I actually wait to use the term for a genuine slave I'll be waiting a very, very long time.

I train my submissives to be better at submitting. Because even that is something your average client is not especially good at and confused by, forget something even more heavy like "slavery".

The truth is that genuine M/s doesn't actually translate well in a professional context. You must transcend the psychology of provider/client in order for it to be successful.

^ cette

I think when it comes down to it, much of the idea of a "stable" is a male fantasy. Perhaps the rare female fantasy. Managing one man is more than enough. Managing multiple and I'd end up feeling like a babysitter. *shudder*

Like you, Domina, I don't want to train people to do something I can do much better and faster myself. And even if they did it as well as I do? They're still there afterward. Waiting. For me to say or do something. The whole idea is exhausting.

You sound like an unhappy person.

Refreshingly honest and realistic take on the question.

Personally, when I engage the services a Pro Domme I am engaging her professional skills (and equipment/studio) for a few hours in order to immerse myself in the atmosphere and sensations of whatever scenario we have negotiated. My interactions with her before and after the session are, I hope, polite, friendly and respectful but certainly not of a Mistress/slave nature.....nor would I want them to be.

In my younger days, which I will admit were many years ago. The concept of a "service top" was unheard of! In those bygone times Mistresses wore Leather, or in some rare cases Latex.

They didn't parade around the Dungeon topples and near naked. This phenomenon can be laid directly at the feet of Karin von Kroft a bizarre lady from Germany. She moved to Arizona in the late 90s or early 2000s bringing her naked style of domination with her!

I have evolved as the times have changed. I accept that most young Dommes have never heard of Ilsa Strix or Mistress Belle de Jour, let alone earned their Leather.

The facts, which are backed up by BDSM history are simple. Building Stables and training slaves is the way Dommes in both Europe and
America practiced their art, and forged their craft.

In todays world with computers, smart phones, 2500 channels on the idiot box, rallies, political debates, and tattoo appointments. Who has time to train a slave, much less build a Stable?

I do find that the European Dommes are more into stable building - but a lot of them that have these stables don't do a lot of in person sessions. I was really surprised by this, but it seems to work really well for them. In my opinion, being a heavy session Domme lends itself less to stable building than Dommes that primarily film.

This discussion has been interesting, but I would like to hear from the other side. Does someone have a story to tell about being in a stable for a mistress regularly, day in and day out, for, say, a year? What ideas did you have going in, and how did they evolve? What qualities and mentalities did you need/learn to be a slave in a stable? What about your mistress kept you going after it stopped being a diversion? What turned your diversion into your devotion? What happened to end this arrangement? Perhaps you are still involved?

I would really enjoy some first-hand accounts to flush out all sides of this discussion.

Great post.

I have not been in a stable situation - but, my domme and I have discussed this. For context, I have sessioned with my domme exclusively for the last 9 years. We have good energy exchange, dynamic sessions, and do extended sessions 4 times / year.

We both agree - a stable situation would not work well for us - the main reason being who we are, and our situations outside of sessions / play. OUr independence, so to speak. Also, we agree that the absence and time between play fuels the fire! Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, and we build up to our play - we are always primed and eager to go! We both feel that if we had more access to each other (daily or even weekly) or as a stable sub - our dynamic would not be as good and as special as it is.

Just wanted to share why a stable scenerio would not work well for us. And we are both happy and pleased with where we are today - 9 years later. Its been a nice journey with her as my domme.

Celeste

Sorry another response from someone who could never be in a stable or be a personal due to reality of vanilla life.

I just wanted to say great questions from Domina M and I hope there are some responses.

Just out of genuine curiousity, is she your prodomme or someone from the lifestyle scene?

She is a Pro-Domme, not lifestyle. And oh so good!

Celeste

I don't quite get this notion of a stable in a professional context as well.

How is it not just client hoarding?

If there's a real connection and fun on both sides, the client would naturally return. Why is there a need to define it?

I can understand it in a lifestyle context, it is basically a one-sided poly arrangement.

What you have sounds wonderful and logical at the same time. If there's a real connection and fun on both sides, there is no need to explore someone else new. Why is there a need to define it?

I can understand it in a lifestyle context, it is basically a one-sided poly arrangement.

what is this "stable" ?

is it doing mundane chores for a domme woman? that she could more efficiently do herself?

is it stocking her refrigerator just for the pleasure of breathing the same air as her?

is it auto maintenance? or just washing her car, something that she could get professionally done for $20

>>>>mostly seems more of PIA than it is worth for both.

A colleague collars every client she can and then complains about how needy they are. Effectively, the sub has to "break up" with his pro domme to move on. I feel this puts a bad taste in their mouths about seeing a pro domme in general and poisons the scene here. I am unhappy about this, but I have no idea what to do without stirring up drama.

My clients have jobs, families, and lives. I like that they are complete people and take a healthy approach to kink.

I keep seeing the title of this thread, and for a moment I think of the office supply store "Staples".

Makes perfect sense to me.....An inventive Domme could do a lot with binder clips, a stapler, a metal ruler, packing tape and bubble wrap.

That's me in a nutshell.



My being dominant doesn't stop outside of sessions but the fetish fantasy we mutually create in a scene does. Well, most of the time. Sometimes, with certain clients, we are playful about some things in our email or before we actually enter the dungeon.

Some people may have a "stable" but call it something else. Like a poly family. But, as I said, in a professional context it's difficult to enforce as you cannot make the same demands in a professional relationship that you can in one that is lifestyle.

This reminds me I've been meaning to check out "Seeking Bother Husband" to see if it's a FLR kind of thing.



Time is certainly as issue for me, but it's also that most men are actually not looking to be a slave (or even a sub!) What they are looking for is a fetishized experience of that thing.

So, if I were to invest the time and energy involved to create a "stable" that actually meets my interest and needs I would have to get paid a lot more than I charge right now.

It has been interesting to view the replies…I have a different view of the concept of a “stable” . Some may disagree but I think the term “stable” has evolved over time and seems to know be used in a more particular manner than it used to be. Stay with me for some old timey, “back in the day” stuff.
In the 80s and early 90s…really until the widespread use of the cellphone (more than even the internet) moving from seeing mistresses at session houses to independents was a laborious process. Even in a city the size of NY they were relatively rare and one had to scour the ads in places as varied as New York Magazine, the Village Voice, the “Hells Belles” section of Screw Magazine and Dominant Mystique, etc. to find independent Mistresses. You then might have sent a snail mail letter with a SASE, or maybe called an answering machine and listened for specific phone hours and hoped to get through at that time. At the end of all this you (hopefully) had an appointment and, if all went well, started to see that person on a regular basis.
And it is there, in my memory, that you became part of a “stable”. It was a bit of a euphemism for “regular”. The more modern usage seems to be focused towards those who have a deeper personal connection.
This is of course a personal memory, albeit one informed by almost 40 years of sessioning at this point, and other recollections may vary. Language is malleable and meanings and context change and in my “scene” experience this is only one (of many I can think of) example of it.

Yes, I can appreciate that. I certainly enjoy pre session exchanges that include some playful innuendo or double entendre about what's to come. Being given very blunt orders about preparation or what to do on arrival can be fun too. For me, anticipation is half the fun of the session and that type of interaction can certainly help to set the mood.

Thank you so much for sharing a more extended view of this. That makes sense in the context of BDSM and prodomination's evolution.

Swinburne- Being an 'old timey'-'Back in the day' Domme, I am on the same page as you defining Stable as regular clients. Currently, my clients are referred to as 'My Flock' as they are free to fly away at any time.

Lady Paradise
www.ladyparadise.net
Civilizing the world, one man at a time.

Oh yes I came across such a prodomme, who would attempt to enter into exclusive arrangements with as many local clients as possible, then fail to keep up with so many demands for her attention.