more than you can handle

I was browsing some websites and there is a domme and one of her expectations is for subs to not ask for more than you/they can handle.

in what situations have you been in, as a domme or a sub, in which the sub had asked for more than he could handle? Did you (or the domme, if you are a sub) let you out with what you could handle or less? If she continued anyway with more than you could handle, did it become a good experience or a bad experience? Was she reasonable or out of control, from your or her point of view?

I think this happens a lot in toilet sessions and in 'no mercy' sessions. Speaking for myself (in the context of a 'no-mercy' session), when I have a hard cock and I am thinking with the little head, I envision myself being able to take a lot more than I actually could handle.

I would never do a no mercy session with a new Mistress! My old Mistress and I were best friends, we always played with no safe words. I knew I could trust Her never to do any permanent damage or push my limits to fast and hard.

So, if you were hard and not thinking clearly or realizing what you were getting into . . . did you agree to things "for the next visit" or, "for the rest of the visit already started," if I may ask?

I guess what I meant to say is that there have been times when I had to use a safe word because I had, indeed, asked for more than I could handle.

I don't like using a safe word as I see it being a failure on my part.

From my experience, a lot of subs don't know what they can handle - especially if they are new. I've had newbies think caning looked like the most incredible thing on film and with the first fall of the rattan, they use a safe word.

Making someone push through something that is not what they expected is usually not a good idea. There have been a handful of times when I have not honored a safe word, but it has been with subs I knew REALLY well and knew they needed to be pushed. These situations have been generally amazing and their trust in me has gone up because of the experience, not down. Sometimes Dommy knows best.

Mistress, I agree. One long time domina I served for 6+ years, sadly retired, taught me that. She took me into a subspace so deep I asked Her a couple of times for a strap-on session. She declined saying, "You'll just get squirrelly on me," and She was probably right when I think about it now. Yet we did parts of sessions in public places, experienced GS twice and did a video with Her once. She expanded my horizons but knew what my limits were.

I love “dommy knows best” 😃😀

So do I! Usually if you know "dommy" for a while she knows you better than you know yourself. One longtime mistress said to me, "you love the danger of almost being caught" in being submissive in public. I denied it at the time but looking back.... She was right of course.

It has been my experience that over time giving oneself 110% to one's Mistress is in many ways partaking in a right of special passage.

Safe words become more for safety and less for session management.

i remember a recent session where a Mistress had taken me so far into subspace that i was, for all intents and purposes, speaking in tongues. Much of what i said and begged for was from deep inside my most secret and wanton sub/slut fantasy world. i later realized that i let a lot more of my deep, dark needs out of the bag than i might have wished.

A great Dominatrix will file those wanton confessions away and in future sessions utilize the ones She thinks will give Her the most pleasure and take Her into Domme Space. The sub has already told Her that he needs more She just needs to decide which more is better for Her.

gls I agree with your point, "A great Dominatrix will file those wanton confessions away and in future sessions utilize the ones She thinks will give Her the most pleasure and take Her into Domme Space."

That's how I experienced GS finally because she had to relieve herself during a session. She asked me, "Do you want to watch?" I nodded yes and she had me crawl into the bathroom. Months later in preparation for another session (she did not live in the same city) we discussed possible scenarios and activities. I mentioned it, but as usual she said, "Let's not get into specifics. Anticipation, pet." She worked it into the session so seamlessly it was practically a surprise.

The same happened several times with discrete public play where in a stairwell, a hotel lobby or parking lot I had to either worship or kiss her feet. I blurted out my desires in subspace and she came back with activities wrapped up like a Christmas present. What memories!