Question for Dommes

Have you ever felt like another Domme told one of her clients to come session with you so that she could "spy" on you?

Yes. I've even had subs 'fess up' after the fact about it. Its a weird thing, I don't really stress about it because I'm confident in My skills as a Domme and there's nothing new they'll learn from that interaction, I'm still getting paid. Did you have someone sneaky recently?

Yikes I wonder if it's the same crazy I've dealt with. People are weird.

Over the years, maybe a half dozen times, I was used as a "training sub" with the Mistress teaching a newbie how to do a session. I remember one time the vibe was strange since the wanna-be domina seemed to get jealous.

The only time I was told to go to other Mistresses was with the legendar Mistress Ava Taurel in NYC. She said, "If you want to see busty dominant Amazons you must see xxx and xxx." Well, I did, and each lady was independent and more dominant kinky escorts that traditional Mistresses, but I had a great time with each. Both asked me about how I met Ava. They then told me that she got a cut of their tributes, which I guess was the beginning of her dungeon or "consulting" service.

But I never was a "spy" which, is pretty weird to say the least.

I had something similar. The sub mentioned the Domme and her questions about various details. In this case, I think it was opportunistic on the Domme's part. In the other cases, I think a client has been sent.



It bothers me because I'm a private person and I'm extending trust to the people I invite into my space. I don't want to feel like I can't trust my clients. I don't want to feel like some Dommes are trying to get info on me or whatever. Gross.

Some clients are big mouths. I know I had a sub tell a Domme where I'm located because that Domme later mentioned it. I had never told her. You may think it's harmless...until a crazy Domme (or client) gets your location and starts stalking you or sending the cops to your place. This didn't happen to me; it happened to another Domme here in Philly.

I don't think people realize that privacy isn't just something our clients are concerned about. We Dommes have privacy issues as well. And I would argue they may be more serious that those of our clients.



I believe so. He didn't come out and say it but there are other clues there which leads me to believe he was a "plant".

Hm. I wonder to which "crazy" you're referring

As a sub, my favorite domme would ask if I sessioned with such and such, and how did it go?

She also told me to session with Ms Avalon, when I asked does she really look that good in person, as her pictures.

She was doing market research, or scoping out the competition. I call that "SMART" ! !

That's not what I'm talking about.

I've had subs tell me they saw a Domme and it was or wasn't good because it comes up when you're talking about playing together. If they disclose this I may inquire about why it wasn't good as it helps me understand them better. But I don't ask for lots of details about the session, like what she said and did, or where the Domme is located. For one, it's none of my business; two, it's a violation of that Domme's privacy; and three, I don't need to because I can come up with my own ideas.

I think some Dommes are just not very good at this and they have to do things like plagiarize other Dommes or even go so far as to ask a sub to go to a Domme so they can do recon on them, I guess. It's hard to believe because it's really gross and unethical but, hey, some people are really gross and unethical.

I really didn't want to chime in since you did specifically direct your questions to fellow dommes like yourself but part of me wants to chime in on this topic. I had primarily seen Miss Tegan up in Philly. With me living in the Baltimore area it wasn't always the most convenient to head 2 hours every so often to session. As she was becoming less and less active due to her vanilla work schedule, we agreed I could see other dommes in Philly but also I asked specifically what I thought about a well known domme who had just relocated to the DC metro area that had a place previously in Philly. She agreed we'd probably hit it off well and even encouraged me to reach out to her and that she would also reach out on my behalf to let her know more about me and the things we've done and what she knew I didn't enjoy as much but wanted to continue training in. We basically hit it off like we've known each other for years as a result. I told her specifically on some things we did that I honestly didn't really enjoy as much as I made it out to be, she gave me the option if I ever wanted to try those things again to do it slowly and to approach it like a novice so I can experience it at a different level than previous.

Yes, I was asking Dommes. Though I'm also interested if subs have ever been asked by a Domme to go session with someone and then asked for information about that Domme, such as specifics about her space, how she works, or where she's located.

Smiley, though I appreciate you sharing your experience, what you describe here is not what I'm talking about.

In your case there is an attempt to help a client connect with another Domme who is closer to you, which has good intentions. In the case I'm speaking about the Domme is sending one of her clients to go session with another Domme to spy and do recon on her, which does not have good intentions.

While I’ve never been asked outright to spy per se. I will say when I lived and sessioned in Tampa, everyone knew each other as it was a pretty small market. I would get a lot of detailed questions on who else I saw, what their rates were, locations, activities, etc. some of it was idle chit chat, but other times I believe there was more behind it.

Very tangential, but this feels like it could be an awesome scene. You session with Domme 1, she sends you to spy on Domme 2, you report back to Domme 1 and Domme 2 emerges from behind a curtain and together they punish you for being a snitch. Totally not the point of this thread, but my mind wanders…..

Tangentially, That would be an amazing mindfuck, I've participated in a few things like that within My Dungeon with My Domme Sisters.

I've also had new Dommes pretend to be subs or send their boyfriends in for sessions to see what My place was like and try and get training in the most backhanded way. Funny to see those women advertising later on knowing they weren't trained at all.

Philly has had a long history of weirdness between ProDommes that I hope is in the past, so I don't doubt Mistress Tissa has experienced some sort of 'espionage'.

It can be difficult to navigate relationships with other ProDommes in the same city fighting for the same submissives. I believe respect for other Professionals, even through competition, is what keeps us safe--- but that's definitely not a mainstream point of view!

Hi, Mistress Tissa-

Wow, I've never heard of this before. Someone would have to be pretty insecure, petty, and juvenile to have a client do something like that.

Regards
-MRB

+1

Holy shit. I have also had this. In the most recent case, the Domme's boyfriend initiated a couples session with me. I cannot say with certainly the intention was for her to get "training" through the scene, but when I asked if she was still an active professional they dropped all communication.




Funny thing is that in most (but not all) of the times I've suspected a Domme has sent someone to do recon on me they were from other states!




I have the same point of view you do. I always believe in professionalism first and foremost. Some people talk the talk but don't walk the walk. So lots of professed "pro" Dommes but when it comes down to it aren't really professional at all. Some are very reckless and unethical. They think that being a professional just means that you get paid.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mistress UV!

You know, I understand *why* someone might want to do it, but that's different than actually going through with it.

Clearly, to send a client or significant other to do recon or get "training" by proxy, it means they know they aren't very good, need help, or are just sleazy. I just wish that if they needed help they would do what a lot of us have done: ask for it. Go to a class or workshop. Pay a Domme for training. This sending someone to gather intel for you? Knock it off, you creep.

If I can confirm -- or maybe even strongly suspect -- that a Domme is engaging in this type of activity how do you think that will affect my feelings about her? I'll tell you: I won't trust her. And depending on what I can confirm, I may warn others about her.

Some Dommes really need to think more carefully about their behavior because as soon as you start doing shady shit, someone will figure it out and you will develop a reputation as a shady individual. This will will hurt your career. Not to mention your karma.