Platforms

The “where have all the topics gone” post made me wonder where are folks spending their online time as it relates to kink/femdom and what are folks favorites?

For me, Twitter is still king. I like being able to follow 100 or so Dommes, dungeons, etc. I wish it was easier to have a private and personal account though. I also find it a very one-sided platform. It’s not really meant for dialogue imo. But I’ve found a lot of great content and met some great Dommes there. Also great way to get to know a Domme.

I like Reddit a lot as well. Love how specific the sub-Reddits can be. I do find there’s a lot of trolls and clowns though

I’ve really enjoyed SextPanther to get to know some Dommes. I’ve had some great sessions through here and some very awesome text exchanges. Have one scheduled in NYC in a few weeks with a Domme I met there. It can get expensive quick though and the conversations seem to often turn to “my day was good, how was your day”.

OnlyFans always teases me with its potential but never seems to deliver. I’ll follow a Domme for a month or two especially if I’m thinking of setting up a session but it always seems to get repetitive and not much dialogue.

Curious other’s experiences both from the Domme and sub perspective. Any good ones I’ve missed?

I would like to get more into Mastodon because I like that it's decentralized. I'm just feeling very dismayed about social media at this point.

For now. I'm putting more of my time into my blog. Which isn't a "platform" by most people's standard but it is *my* platform.



Yeah, I hear ya. I really liked Twitter.



Not sure what you mean by "private and personal" but you can lock your account, you know. That makes it a kind of "invite only" thing.



How so? I thought is was a great way to have exchanges with people. I especially liked that it made it feel like everyone was equally accessible (assuming their account wasn't locked). I could tweet to a celebrity or politician, for example. Whether they read it is another story...



I have a Reddit account but I haven't used it much. I thought about directing my energy there after Twitter but, again. don't want to do this if I end up banned because someone just decides they want to exercise their power. For fun.



I thought about joining the site but some of the TOS was too ambiguous or suspicious. I asked them about it and they never replied. I even tried sending them a message on Twitter, privately and publicly. Crickets. Took that to be a bad sign about what I suspected about their TOS.



I never joined here either. Shortly after it started a woman was telling people that her boyfriend stole the idea and the money she had to get it started. I can't say it if was true but the possibility that I'd be making money for some shitty dude didn't make me want to join. As time has gone on the periodic issues with the site had confirmed, in my mind, that the woman was probably telling the truth and that I don't want to have anything to do with it.



It seems difficult to find a platform that isn't run by or owned by unethical people. So you always feel like you're their pawn, making them dirty money, and always at their mercy.

Mastodon might be the best one out there right now. But someone still runs the instance you're on and can boot you at any time.

At least with my blog, I'm paying for the space on the server and it's in the best interest of my host to work things out before they kick me off.

Mistress Tissa,

Thanks! Great perspective as always. I need to check out Mastodon I set up an account but never really used it.

By private/personal, I really meant my “real life” account and my “kink” account. Reddit is just so much easier for multiple discrete accounts imo.

I get Twitter is 2 way dialogue, I guess I just feel like I’m screaming into the void sometimes, lol. As in no one hears.

SP seems pretty lackadaisical on their TOS. I get the terms are there, but nothing seems to get enforced. It does give me pause that they can monitor conversations, watch any videos, etc. it creates an illusion of private chat that’s not real. But fingers crossed I’ve had no issues as of yet.

OF is definitely sketch. I don’t know if the founder stories are true or not but it’s definitely not very kink friendly.

Things are so different now as compared to 20 years ago, if you go back and look at MF in its heyday. There was so much vibrant conversation there, the occasional trolling and flamewars aside. Today, I think a newer generation just isn't as into these longer-form online conversations. In terms of where I spend the most time, it's Twitter, although I mostly just read. My account there is private just for my own privacy reasons -- a couple of times I accidentally tweeted out stuff out from the wrong account and locking it down restricts that potential damage. I'll also look at IG and sometimes participate in domme's Q&As there. I hate OF. The platform is so clunky, and the conversations you wind up having are just chit chat or generic DS talk designed to keep you paying. (This has to do with the fact that you can't discuss in-person on OF, so nothing can lead to anything in the real world.)

I have a personal Reddit account but not a kink one. Would be interested in the subreddits you like.

I haven't tried SP but maybe should. I'll also use NF from time to time. The main domme I talk to there has turned into a bit more of a personal thing as most of our conversations/play now occur off that platform or via text.

One platform I would add is podcasts. In terms of time, I probably spend more time listening to kink podcasts than anything else, although, obviously, that is entirely one-way and not a conversation. But there's the Masocast (dormant much of the time but now Axe says he's recording more interviews), What Women and Other Wonderful Humans Want (terrible name but good guests and good questions if you can deal with the host's style), Damiana Chi has an occasional podcast. Erin Pimm has the Bedpost podcast. There was an interesting podcast last year called Good Pain, where two mostly vanilla, kink-curious people had some interesting guests on, including several dommes.

Also, speaking of Instagram, Mistresses Shayla Lange and Lola Jean do their online tutorials Seven Days of Domination, and even if you don't sign up there are hour-long conversations with each guest after.

I'd be interested in any good kink-centered Mastodon instances you come across. I have a regular account there but hardly use it.

Pssst...kink IS real life.



Then maybe you're in too big of a room.



I mean, I didn't expect they were actually monitoring every conversations (though, like you, aware of and not really comfortable with their ability to do that at any time). I really don't like when I reach out to a company who will be taking a chunk of the money I'm earning them and they never reply to me. It's not a good start to a "relationship". Like, is this what you'll be like any time I have to contact you about a concern? Will you suspend me for something and not reply to me if I am trying to get to worked out? Will the money be worth a potential headache down the line? These are the things I think about. Also, I'm pretty professional and I approach my work seriously. I like to do business with others who have a similar mindset. Ignoring potential money makers is not a good look.



Not kink friendly? Boring. Bye.

While I do think our culture has nurtured people into having short attention spans, I don't think that newer generations are less interested in more in-depth, meaningful conversation. I think it's that they aren't coming to archaic places like this to have it.



I don't use IG because it's owned by the creepy uncle of the internet: Facebook. And because too many adult entertainers have been kicked off, making it, in my opinion, not a good use of energy.



I don't use NF much. I hear "Mistress, you're never on!" It's because I get impatient waiting for calls.



OK, I'm one of these people who never clicked with the term "podcast". I find it slightly unsettling. Kind of alienating (pun intended).

It's just people recording themselves talking? Like an internet radio show, right? Why "podcast"? Is this leftover from the days where people would subscribe to them and get the recordings downloaded onto their devices or something? Am I remembering this correctly?

I would, too. heh.

I looked for some and found one but it explicitly says that professionals can't be there. Which means that it's going to feel like you're at an online munch. Weeee.

I really only post about Kink on this board. I like the fact that the technology is a little outdated. I also just like the people here. The conversation seems more intelligent than most sites.

My twitter account has fallen dormant i do use it to occasionally to view a dommes account I am interested in.

My sessions have slowed down but if i were to pick it back up i would probably use seeking. Ive had great success there finding kinky partners even if its not what the site is advertised as. I also found a lot of fun to chat on that site.

Ive also met a few dominant women on Instagram. Although mostly for “non-professional” dating.

For professional encounters, either femdom or vanilla, Tryst has been good to me

I’ve had similar experience on Tryst. Have found some great Dommes on there. I’ve also found some great play partners on there that advertised as escorts, not Dommes but have been kinky af and great fun to see.

I do occasionally see an escort who I did some pro domming in the past and is pretty good with kink. But I’m just curious how you were able to find kinky escorts on Tryst?

Buffalo,

Sometimes it’s just luck. I ask upfront a lot. Most are willing to at least try. I also will use the Tryst search engine, deselect BDSM so no professional Dommes show up in results, then use key words like “kink”, “dom”, “bdsm”. That works best in major cities. But my overall experience has been that most escorts will entertain reasonable requests, as long as you ask up front.

It also helps that my main kinks are ballbusting and tease/denial. Asking an escort to kick you in the nuts and tease/edge you until you’re begging is not a big ask. Many of the ones I’ve met genuinely seem to find it hot. I suspect there are other kink activities that may have a lower rate of acceptance among escorts.

I have similar kinks and Thats been my experience as well. I normally just send a short text that says “id like to combine your companionship services with some kinky femdom activities such as…. “. I include screening info and Ive had a lot of positive responses.

Ive found many open to it even if they don’t list it as in interest.

Even better i think many have downright enjoyed taking their aggression out on me :-)!

That’s great. Pretty simple really. Just ask although I’m never sure when or how to ask.

Thanks for the suggestion to use key words in Tryst search engine. I played around with it and definitely got results. I like the escort I see immensely but unfortunately she’s got limited availability and coupled with ny limited availability it’s hard to match up.

That’s interesting about the ballbusting. The escort I see has told me she refrains from cbt and other pain stuff down there because she thinks it will impact performance in other areas. I don’t think it would because it’s a turn on to me. Maybe I will bring it up again next time I see her.

That’s a good way to word it.

Maybe this comment should be a separate thread. You tell me.
Over the past decade or so there has been a transition in BDSM. Some Mistresses have become female bodybuilders and, these massive female athletes becoming Mistresses. For more than a few years starting in the early 2000s until the mid-2010s I sessioned with such ladies. (I used to say to many of them, "You don't need equipment. YOU are the equipment.)

Podcasts are just on-demand audio, delivered in the form of a file that can be downloaded, yes, or streamed. It may be a leftover term, but it's still very much a thing -- big business, actually. Podcasts can be internet radio shows, slickly told crime stories, New York Times productions like The Daily, or just a two people bantering. There are podcasts that costs hundreds of thousands to produce, or I could create one right now on my phone and upload it and it'd be on Apple's podcast directory shortly and people all over the world can download it.

There are a number of kinky podcasts, several hosted by dommes (including one by Eva Oh), and some of the kind of revelations about DS that I'd use to have after reading MF I more often have listening to an interview or conversation on one of these podcasts. I recommend you check one or two of them out. If you want to listen to just one episode, try Yin Q's from the Masocast, a podcast hosted by a submissive guy married to a well known former pro domme. It's from over a decade ago, but I remember it being a really good one. And if you like that conversation, the host, Axe, is looking for people to interview for his next round of episodes.

I don't find many platforms anymore where we can engage and actually write back and forth in a group discussion, which is why I like this board. Its really such a shame that most open to the public platforms are just bombarded with trolls. I love to hear other points of view and have open discussions, but algorithms now on social media are set up so we only see opinions and people similar to our own, which has created this hatred and division between opposing views that is hostile.
Max Fisch is horrible. Its lack of moderation has let trolls go wild and I've even seen some thinly veiled threats towards Dommes. If I weren't a seasoned Domme reading that board I would be too paranoid to even be in the Dungeon. I want to believe My submissives are actually that and don't have these nasty opinions about their Domme like these exploitative misogynists that post on Max.

Twitter only allows a certain number of letters in a response its very difficult to get a point across, and it stops Me from engaging half the time, but I do use Twitter very regularly because of how easy it is to use and navigate and push information quickly. If only I wasn't shadowbanned!

I also use SextPanther alllll day, its a really great way to communicate with My subs individually, monitor chastity, and get to know new subs. I constantly have to tell subs not to break TOS on there but I agree that it seems like its not being monitored.

I have LoyalFans and OnlyFans. I really like LoyalFans as a clipstore, for posting photos, and I've started to write a bit on there like a blog. I'm really unclear about all the TOS of these sites so I'm really cautious about posting, esp on OF, I mainly just use that for photos. I have little to no engagement on those two fan sites, I get messages every once in a while but its rare.

I became a Domme to do in person sessions, not to be on the internet all day... and now look what I've had to do just to keep up!

Mistress UV, it is always a pleasure to read your posts.

What I like about this site is that it is rather civilized and the give and take here is actually healthy. It has become rather unique. Since you do live sessions I don’t know how you can keep up with all the online sites, but in any business during the past decade or so, it is a necessity.

MF has become rather civilized if, you being an experienced Mistress and guys like me, being the same on the sub side, you avoid any toxicity there. I’m no longer on Twitter but have checked it out as a non member for a variety of topics in the past couple of months. I haven’t been on the other sites you mention, but I might check it out based on your post. Thanks again.