Catfishing-- Have you ever booked a session through social media?

I recently messaged one of the fake profiles on instagram that was using My photos to catfish people. I was just curious to see if they would try to book a session with Me. And the answer was -- kind of? I acted like the typical newbie sub who asks too many questions and hasn't yet understood protocol, and they acted like a bossy Domme who didn't know what they were doing. They insisted I give Myself over to them and follow their every instruction. I keep pushing for an email address and they gave Me one, and then continued to ask I follow rules they wouldn't yet give. Pretty annoying interaction overall.

The game is to get these subs to send a "deposit" or money to show dedication.

This happens constantly in the ProDomme and SW world, and because we are using stage names its pretty difficult to prove that we are actually that person to someone moderating some of these social media sites.

This has always fascinated Me, they're putting in the work to make a full profile and use every photo I update from Twitter to make it believable, so they must be making a profit.

Are guys just really so inexperienced they don't know any better or are there actually people who have gotten a session this way?

Dommes, do you use social media to book sessions? If so, which ones?

subs, have you actually booked and sessioned with a ProDomme through social media only? Did you google the person? Find a website? What was the process?

+1

I wouldn't contact a prodomme through Instagram for a session. I would ask for a personal web site and go through that.

It sounds like an interesting/amusing conversation you had. :-)

I love that you did this, Mistress UV, because I have thought about doing it myself with some of the multitude of scammers on FetLife.

It's amazing that just some basic pushing revealed how little they understand about what they're trying to scam people about. They're literally just demanding money and expecting guys to send it. And clearly they're having some success or they wouldn't keep doing it.

The way that guys keep walking right into the trap is fascinating. Almost to the point where I wonder if they actually have a scam fetish. LOL! Even accounting for hormones, I can't understand how someone could just send some random stranger some money without taking even 5 minutes to make sure they're legit.



Never. All but phone play need to come through my website. Phone play can be requested through NiteFlirt.

In fact, I don't understand why pros would accept session requests in places like social media. Legal and privacy risks aside, it's easy to end up totally disorganized.

Hi Mistress UV,

I have. I would describe the experience as ok but not great. I did not get scammed, id like to think ive done this long enough to recognize red flags even before i reach out. But the domination was just ok. They werent as skilled or experienced as the pro dommes i was used to. Didnt have established dungeon, basic toys, or incall locations.

i never felt unsafe,but in many ways i had to talk them through some basics, safe words, safety zones where to hit, how to tie someone up, even how to use a strapon. We just went very slow.

I guess i went through a phase where after years of seeing established pro dommes i was looking for something different. And in many ways i actually enjoyed the experience

I will say that while the sessions were ok i found one really good personality match and we ended up sessioning a lot both vanilla and domination.

With that being said, i got the impression that i was not their typical client and that made me stand out. I probably wouldnt do it again though. Ill use social media for dating and go back to seeing established dommes for sessions.

I see fake ads or scammers on Eros all the time. I’ve found good Dommes in strange places - OF, SA, Twitter. NF and SP are two of my favorite places to find new (to me Dommes) and I suspect there is a lot of Catfishing/scamming there. So I guess to me it’s not really about the platform. Though 100% some platforms are really really bad with scams!

Typically, I look to make sure they are on multiple platforms and I know they are in fact who they claim to be (to the degree possible). The Domme I met on SA though at the time we met only had an SA and a Fetlife profile. She’s moved on to a web page, Tryst ads, an active Twitter, an OF page. I just bring that up because SA is like a scammers paradise with few if any legit Dommes. So anything’s possible . I’d add, we did a no charge Skype, then met for lunch at a restaurant before we ever had a session. Point being caution is your friend when crossing from social to real life.

I think there are often a lot of red flags on the scammer ads. Though sometimes us boys tend to ignore them even if something seems to good to be true. I expect the catfishers and scammers don’t need a very high success rate to make money which is why they do it.

With OF, SP, and Eros you have to provide an ID and an authentication photo to sign up and post anything, so catfishing/scamming there is a lot harder to do. I do know someone who had a photographer set up an OF with her photos and ID but that's rare and more than your average catfish wants to do I'd say.

Sounds like you did your due diligence with checking for that!

That’s interesting on the ID requirements. I guess I was using “catfishing”, “scamming”, and “sketchy” interchangeably. I definitely see some things, especially on Eros that make me scratch my head but didn’t realize they had been authenticated. Good to know!

This is super yikes to me. You never felt unsafe but they didn't understand safewords or safe zones on the body? Then what did they understand? Demanding money, it seems. LOL!

I don't think people like this have any business asking to be paid for for play.

Bless you, Spark, for giving it a go. It sounds like they should have paid you for your tutelage. Hopefully, you didn't actually teach a scammer how to better scam.

I think it's common they're from impoverished countries, and getting even one guy to send 50 USD could cover an entire month's expenses or more.

If you were desperate for resources and realized how malleable men are when they're horny you just might do it, too.

I honestly kind of enjoyed pretending to be a prospective sub-- I just imitated the most annoying of timewasters that message me all the time. I put that scammer through the ringer! Although retrospectively I realized I probably shouldn't provoke someone with enough time and energy to do internet scams. Once I came clean about who I really was I just tried to relate as another person trying to make a living, so I could get the answers I really wanted.

I think people who are tricked by this just want to believe in a fantasy, that this Domme really is who they say they are and that by sending money they can start some sort of relationship or personal interaction with them.

Pretty eye opening on a few levels.

Sounds about what I would expect, can I ask which social media platform you were using?

I hear you! I don’t think anyone i met with was trying to scam but there was a lot of inexperience. One told me she wanted to try SW and felt like being a dominatrix was a safer way for her to do it. She also expressed that she was very nervous about the whole thing. Im also paraphrasing the interaction to some extent as we talked online, over the phone, texted etc. none of the interactions were bad they just weren’t what i would describe as a true professional domme experience. In many ways i found what i was looking for, someone to date me and dominate with NSA. There was a good mix of vanilla and domination. I think we both benefited and enjoyed it. Personality wise it worked out really well but the domination went very slowly and was basic but i was ok with that.

I used a combination of instagram, twitter, and seeking.com

If i were to do it again, i would almost certainly just use seeking.com. Ive had success finding a dominatrix there even if that isnt what the site is advertised as. There was a really good thread on it here a while back. I found a lot of cross marketing between the 3 platforms and many would change the personality and services offered between to match the clientele on the different platforms.

For example a dominatrix on twitter would advertise a vanilla sex onlyfans on IG and a sugar baby expereince on seeking.com

This is exactly what drove me to explore some of the alternative sites like SA. The mix of Domination and vanilla can be a lot of fun!

Couldn’t agree more. From other posts it sounds like your experiences are similar to mine.

I do think there are a high percentage of scammers both men and women on that site but also genuine people as well. Id like to think i was good at spotting red flags and moving on quickly.

I always try to be open and honest about what i am looking for and my intentions. The women that i met were honest about their experience level and didnt hold themselves out as someone who had a lot of experience. Grace and understanding, and respecting boundaries led to some great times But it takes work and maturity from both parties

This makes perfect sense. Except you don't start asking for money until you have some skills under your belt.

Before I went pro I did lifestyle play for about 7 years. Whether it was pick-up play at a party or inviting people over for fun, I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a pro until I felt like one. About 4 years into lifestyle play I was contemplating going pro and Coral Korrupt suggested I start and just charge less I decided that it just didn't feel right.



I respect that it worked for you, Spark. I just can't help but cringe at the idea of someone asking people for money and not really knowing something as basic as safewords. That's about as far away from a professional experience as I can imagine. It irritates me, to be honest, because this is sometimes people's introduction to kink and then they think this is how it works. It can make it harder for actual pros.




What do you mean by "vanilla" in this context?

I occasionally begin the conversation to schedule Sessions through social media, but the actual scheduling always eventually moves to My website at My insistence.

I've had the most luck with Twitter where potential subs found My profile and inquired through DM. The legit inquiries are usually more than willing to move to another form of communication right away. Those messages often read to Me like the sub having a knee jerk reaction to a post and spur of the moment "I want some!" impulses. Sometimes, the sub seems to be checking ME out to make sure I'm real or providing their profile for My reference. If the message is polite and respectful and they follow directions, starting on Twitter isn't so bad.

I've also had a few successes with inquiries through FL, but not many and none since they started the commercial profile nonsense.

More often than not, Twitter is full of scammers trying to get free chat or haggle Tribute. And usually, the FL guys are looking for a date or hookup, not a Session. I've never had anyone from IG actually book anything, but several have found Me on other media of followed Me after meeting. Overwhelmingly, the interactions lead to nothing... if I even bother to answer them in the first place. Just often enough I get a legit and often repeat sub to make keeping those profiles a valid form of business.

I think messaging a Pro on Social media just seems like the path of least resistance. It's easy, it's fast, and it's less intrusive than text messages. Everyone has the apps on their phones so the accessibility is really the key. It's not ideal but I know I for one don't want to dismiss any avenue that eventually leads a good sub to Me!

We did “normal” dating type stuff. Went out for sushi. Traveled some for vacation, went to the gym together, went to concerts etc. i was looking more for a relationship And companionship with some domination and this fit that need.

Oh, okay. I get confused when people use "vanilla" because it creates a dichotomy where one does not exist in my mind.

It sounds like you just wanted something more like a kinky companion. Glad it worked out for you!

I initially started booking Lilith Kat on Twitter to hash out the details, but she sent me thorough her website for final booking

Doms/subs, do you think this is a real profile? - Amistress138Mis

Photos look real but there is no name or website.

Fun new game, real or fake Twitter profile. Lol

Fwiw, I think she is real person, seems like based in Poland who is looking for some online subs to pay her.

I think she’s going by Miss Tress. But I may be reading way to much into the underscore placement.

Im going to say fake or at best someone looking for a quick dollar. There’s no website alternate social media, only fans etc , no verification. The entire TL is almost all pictures no words which seems strange. The “likes” section of her time includes a fair amount of hardcore vanilla porn i dont see that from Dommes or just SW who cater to kink for that matter.

Id tread carefully. There are so many well reviewed real mistresses. It wouldnt be worth the risk to me.

I'm gonna say 100% fake, There's no way to contact her, the username also brings up red flags for Me. Most fakes have numbers in the username because they didn't care enough to get a more specific one they just used the Twitter suggestion. However, I didn't find the pictures through the reverse image look up, but she's only been posting since May 2022, so I think they're stealing from a real profile somewhere.

Two biggest red flags:

-The photos also are a little too professional looking to not have a watermark and some are cut off at just the right spot to have had a watermark.

-The photos she's taking are in a professional Dungeon so she'd have to have a professional site or link to the Dungeon pages she's working out of.

Good point on the pictures. I concede the argument. For some odd reason, I didn’t notice the backgrounds lol.

I think I just stumbled across the real person, Her @ on Twitter is @Lisha_Lamour_

https://twitter.com/Lisha_Lamour_

Thanks algorithm!

About 15 years ago when I started looking for a pro Domme, there was very little in the way of social media so it was necessary to resort to websites like Eros and others. I saw many ads that were interesting and had photos of beautiful women that promised a lot. I guess that being new in this lifestyle made me overly cautious so I spent a lot of time trying to decide who was a good fit for me. I visited with five or six Dommes over the next 2-3 years. Some I saw only once, others a couple of times. About 12 years ago I tired of "playing the field" and visited with a Mistress that I had only read about but was very much interested in. We each asked and answered questions truthfully and I decided to schedule a session with Her. The rest is history as they say. Was I just lucky that W/we hit it off so well right away. I don't think so. It was partly because W/we both knew what we wanted in a relationship such as this. How many men know what they want in this lifestyle? I suspect not a lot. Happily collared for several years and looking forward to many more serving MY Mistress. I call her MY Mistress because when W/we are in session all of my attention is focused on Her and Her alone.

Very good find!

Not gonna lie Reading a list of kinks in German just hits different

Thanks for checking guys. Mistress UV, thanks for finding the real profile.

GREAT subject and question. As a Sub, My 1st session with you was from initial Social Media contacts, and ditto to Mistress Blaze. That said, I did EXTENSIVE validation checks, looking for website info, reviewing profiles, etc, to ensure my safety financially, and personally, as who knows what these creeps have in mind.

I need to request, and hope you allow a session, as I haven't been in your service since Covid-19 and miss torture, which leads to "dream" sessions with Miss Blaze. OK, a SUB can beg, and be denied, right?

Respectfully, this stuff is sad and scary, as it creates a mess for persons that have done SO MUCH to build your incredible PROFILES, and to have trash use that to take advantage of you and subs is sad.

Hopefully you'll allow a session in near future, and torture me with little mercy,

Fake. The silly user name aside, look at how many people they're following. This is a big sign of a fake. They follow lots and lots of people to try to increase the chances they can get someone to send them some cash.

These are the kinds of things you guys need to think of every time you're trying to determine if someone is legit.

The number one thing: does she have a website? Scammers very rarely do.



Some guys seem to have a fetish for this risk because it doesn't make sense otherwise!

I only reach out to folks I find on Fetlife who insist contact be made via KIK, surely they’re not scammers. ????

Yeah that seems like scammers... I hope you're kidding. Do they ask you to send money through bitcoin and paypal too?

Definitely kidding. It seems like there are more and more scammers these days.

I only book through Email & Phone. I've been doing that way for 25 years, and don't plan on changing. The only way I enjoy Catfish is Southern fried with lemon & Tatar Sause