Meeting a domme in the outside world?

Say you are kinkster, out or not, who sees pro dommes, and you meet, either (vanilla) socially or through business, a pro domme you recognize from the scene. When, if ever, would it be appropriate to mention your own scene participation?

It's happened to me a couple of times and I haven't said anything. Those were both brief meetings. I also got to know over time one woman who revealed to me once that she was a very successful pro domme in her youth. Again, I didn't mention anything for a couple of reasons, one of which being that she has clearly moved on to other things in her life. I'm curious what others think, particularly pro dommes, for whom this must happen sometimes.

Pretty much never. People’s lives outside the scene must be respected.

That's been my approach and belief so far.

This happened to me once. I'm sure I told this story before but it bears repeating.

It was in the mid-1980s and I worked in Manhattan on the West Side around West 18th or 19th Streets off of Sixth or Seventh Avenue. I saw this very attractive, gorgeous (and busty) woman in her early 40s or so walking towards me during lunch hour on a sunny warm day in the fall. Knee high black leather boots, matching slacks, jacket and sunglasses. My first look was "Wow!" The second was that it was probably the Mistress I had two or three sessions with in the past year, but I wasn't sure. She was based in the Village. After work I called her to ask if she was in the area.

It was. This was her advice - command. "If you ever see me in the street again, do not say hello and never acknowledge my presence. If you do I will NEVER see you again." She added that, while she didn't recognize me, she never says hello to subs she saw in the street. I think that is pretty damned good advice.

I ran into a few of my clients in the outside world over the years. It was always the same, a casual smile that no one would think anything of and unspoken respect for discretion.

Why be such a pansy ass? In such a situation, drop to all fours and crawl on over as fast as you can. It will go over big time.

Ive never been in this situation but discretion would seem to be the rule here. A smile or a nod or just nothing would all make sense.

I did have a situation slightly different where i was dating a girl much younger than me. We were at a bar on vacation and someone else who had been over-served made a comment “she must be his sugar baby”. Which was true. I didn't miss a beat and said “actually she’s my dominatrix” also true. No one was expecting that. That was a fun time.

Don't ever do this. Ever. You will come off as a gigantic weirdo. If you see us minding our business, let us mind our business. We also want to live discreet lives.

Just as most subs wouldn't want to be "outed" in public, most Dommes wouldn't either. I had a guy approach Me and keep asking if I "was Mistress Ultra Violet?" in front of My sister (before I came clean to My family!!)... We were out to lunch and I simply denied it and told him to get lost. So fucking RUDE.

I've seen subs out in public with their partners and I would never think to go up to them and say, "hey, weren't you the one licking My piss off My boots last week?"

The only time I found it acceptable I was not with anyone and not around anyone who could hear Me... a sub I'd seen a couple days before just kindly said hello while we were at the same concert. No names were exchanged, just some 'non-verbal acknowledgement' of knowing exactly who each other was.

So in My opinion, even if you have a rapport with the Domme you see out, unless otherwise stated... keep it to yourself!

+1

Concur

Hes a troll, just ignore him.

Mistress, you just reminded me of a story. On Labor Day weekend a few years ago I was at a bakery in my neighborhood, happened to glance out the window, and saw a Mistress I knew well walking her dog across the street. Luckily I was able to get my package quickly and walked down the block, crossed the street so I could walk towards her to make sure I was correct. (I also checked around to see if anyone I knew was nearby.)

It was her. We made eye contact, she smiled and said hello. I bent down to say hello to her dog, who I met at her dungeon. She asked, "What are you doing here?" I said it was my neighborhood and asked what she was doing there. She said apartment sitting. We wished each other well and said goodbye. I called a few days later and she playfully, but seriously, said, "I should've told you to get on your knees and kiss my shoes." If you know each other and the time, location is right, you can say hello. Most times I agree. Forget that urge.