Demi sexualism and Femdom

I just learned with this term means and i feel like its a good description of how I approach femdom.

In my younger days when hormones were running wild i could schedule a session with anyone and get wild on a moments notice.

As ive aged ive found it tougher To take that approach. I now need that emotional connection and that takes time to build. It makes it tough to do a pro session at a moment’s notice. But i have had success with a few people building a long term transactional relationship with a real emotional connection. I have also found it in my personal life on occassion

The benefits of this is that Once i have that emotional connection i can go deeper in a session than ever before. It just takes time to build up.

I guess what im saying is i cant have meaningless sex anymore but the meaningful sex or femdom is really good.

Does anyone else have this same feeling?

No not me. While I definitely believe the best bdsm is with a Domme who you develop chemistry and a relationship with over time as you grow trust in each other and she learns how she can push you further I don’t need an emotional relationship with someone to enjoy the session. Probably about a year ago I was able to see Michelle Lacy who I never thought I would get the opportunity to see and the session was fantastic. I will probably never get a chance to see her again but I will never forget that session.

I realize you're probably not asking how a pro feels about this, Spark, as our job is to "show up" for everyone we see. But I do have some thoughts on this and so will contribute.

I do understand that a greater feeling of familiarity can open up the channels of trust for some people; and that by doing so it allows for another level of play that is otherwise difficult for them to achieve.

I will say that the longer I play with someone, and the more I get to know them, the more the interaction feels like a friend than a client. (I still maintain nearly all of the same boundaries, however.)

But developing a familiarity before I play with someone is not needed for me at all. (I do prefer to speak to someone, but I don't have to.) I think you can make a conscious a decision to *allow* the connection to occur. It requires trust and being present.

How do you define "emotional connection"? And why do you think you need one?

Hmm I have been moving a step or two in that direction but don't see myself as being completely there. Demisexuality is part of the Asexuality spectrum and my libido has definitely declined in the last 3-4 years so that could be the cause.