Great lines or funny moments

I have been very fortunate over the years to play with some extremely talented and bright women both in pro and private settings. I recall the well known Boston area Domme Janet Spencer had a tag line on her main page that read "correction with wit and style". I've always been attracted to Dommes that exemplify this and have a sense of humour.

That being said what are some of the great lines or funny/fun moments you have experienced in session over the years?

A couple that stand out to me are.....

A domme that responded to my Oh God! It hurts too much" with "Silly boy.....it's supposed to hurt!" Granted, I've seen similar lines in a cpouple of BDSM novels so maybe she was ripping it off but it was very hot in the moment.

Another was during an extended session where i was in pretty strict/challenging bondage and about to be left for awhile. The line was "before I go let's see if we can't make you a just little more uncomfortable"

The funniest experience was when I was secured on my back on a bondage table with my wrists at my sides. She was busy attaching Erostek blue bands to my cock and sticky pads to my balls when all of a sudden I felt a blinding flash of electrical pain. I yelled and did an almost involuntary situp to a bolt upright position.. She let out a startled "Oh!" followed by OH MY GOD! I'm SO sorry. Are you alright?" I think it was turned on." Turns out she had inadvertantly nudged one dial one position over from "off" to one of the modes. The intensity knob was at max so when she plugged the first set of leads in I got my first ever full power shock from the Erostek 212......no warmup, just BLAM!

The pain was fleeting and after I said I was OK she started to giggle and I soon followed. Within a few seconds we were both laughing pretty much uncontrollably. After a bit we got ourselves under control and the session continued successfully.
I'll always rememebr how close I felt to her sharing that "real" moment.

First let me say that it is awesome you had the opportunity to play with the one and only Janet Spencer. But, funny lines and moments, here are a few of mine:

In my early days as a Dom, there was a weekly Friday client that I had a great connection with. We are still close friends to this day. One Friday I wanted to surprise him with a new pair of six inch, spiky heel boots. He was on his knees, waiting for me in the basement dungeon. As I walked down the stairs, I tripped and landed in front of him Carol Burnett style. What could I say? "Tado!"

Another time, I had rented a cabin about an hour out of Chicago in a beautiful wooded area. One of my clients came to see me and was bound to a chair, blindfolded. A few minutes into the session, a woman in an orange vest was in the woods around the cabin. She turned out to be someone marking utility lines for a new build. But, like a goofball, I said the first thing that came to mind, "Is that your wife?" This is not a good thing to say in such a session. We ended up having a great time but not the best way to start.

Great story! he must have been pretty surprised to see his Mistress throw herself at his feet. I love the skill and comfort level of a Domme who can have a wardrobe malfunction or equipment failure in a session and laugh it off while keeping things moving forward.

I sometimes think people get to serious and formal in session. Formality, strictness or high protocol can be hot but we should never forget that in the end it is supposed to be fun!

In my brief stint as a hooded video slave, a Mistress once put a pair of very hot nipple clamps on me. This was a place of high protocol. It took everything I could not to scream. Instead I said, "Excuse me, Mistress. Have these recently been on fire?" Of the intern Doms had just sterilized them without letting them cool down. I remember it fondly. We all laughed. But, damn, it hurt like hell.

I may have posted this already on another thread, so if you heard it before please forgive the repetition. The legendary Mistress Belle de Jour was my first Mistress back in the early 70s when I was a 20 yr old and she was, probably around 50. Old New York sassy, authoritative and for a naive college kid, damned exotic, sexy and a complete turn on. Saw her a few times then left the scene.

I returned in the mid-'80s, her dungeon and live shows were at their height, and I called her. She remembered and, while I had one session with her, she recommended some wonderful ladies. I left the scene again and returned in the mid-'90s and called a new dungeon late one Saturday morning I read about, no mention of Belle. She answered the phone (found out later she was part owner) and I got excited right away. I introduced myself and she said, "I know who you are. You're still doin' this shit?" And we both broke out laughing. I began to frantically negotiate with her to do a session with me. She said no, wasn't dressed for it, just doing the phones, etc. and I said I'd come over right away.

About an hour later I got to the dungeon. She's 70 at this point, dressed in street clothes but still showing off her curves, cleavage in black slacks and top. I gave it the hard sell to session with her and she pointed at a door in the dungeon. "Get the hell inside," smiling. So I'm ready with my "jungle" loincloth and she opens the door looking as sexy as hell, and circles me and eyeing me up. She slaps my rear end, grins and says, "You still have a good ass." We both crack up. We had a great session, my last with her, a wonderful visit with an longtime friend.