Whats my role?

So over the last 2 years my interests have changed. Im really into pain whipped, kicked, slapped, punched almost to an extreme level.

But ive lost almost all interest in other aspects of femdom. So i dont think of myself as a submissive or a slave although i still enjoy being on the bottom.

But ive had a tough time defining my role in the bdsm community and maybe im wrong but it doesn’t seem like most have the same type of interest.

Im not exactly into titles but it would be nice to be able to explain in a word or two my preferences. Any thoughts?

You're a masochist.

When I put that description of myself in emails requesting a session I usually got a very enthusiastic positive reply, with the comment there aren't enough of those around.

It depends on what you mean by "extreme", because one person's extreme is actually kind of mild and for another it could get us thrown in jail for assault.

If it's about the pain for you, that you enjoy the feeling of it, then I agree with langerr that you could label yourself a masochist. But if there's something else going on instead or or in additional to being "beat up", then I might modify label that a bit.

Concur

Yes! Masochist is the word i was looking for. Thank you!

It’s an strange feeling i want someone to be nice to me while they are beating me. I am often laughing during a session and want them to laugh and smile with me. That doesnt tie into traditional femdom

It’s a pretty extreme level of beating, bruising and swelling, full force punches, kicks, slaps

Ive always had a very high pain tolerance when it comes to physical activity. Weight lifting, competitive marathon running etc. and i wonder if there is an overlap in my brain that enjoys the high.

I'm not sure there is a "traditional FemDom". If you mean the porn version of "FemDom", that depicts a particular fetishized version, which is sometimes not really about actual FemDom at all.

You wanting to laugh and have fun while being beat is not strange. It just means you're not an emotional masochist. You want the sadism to just be physical.

Thank you for saying that! Ive been feeling like i dont fit in to BDSM recently or what i felt like was a traditional role because ive been more into pain than submission. I just want the pain because i enjoy it. Not because i want to be punished or anything like that.

You are right that ive struggled because that is not how femdom is typically portrayed. In many ways i still consider it femdom. Just different than what you see sold online

If you want a label you found a good one. But it sounds that you might have had different interests before and maybe they will change again. This is an activity which requires a partner and I suspect that your interests might evolve depending on your partner and relation.

My two cents is do your own thing and don't worry too much what the rest of the world thinks about it.

I agree and my interests have definitely changed over time. one of the reasons i look for a label is that i have become fairly open about my sexuality and my bdsm interests both with my partners and in my personal life. I like the titles as a way to describe my interests without listing off specific activities

Spark... In reading posts here and MF over the years I used to wonder if I really was submissive, or just acting the part. To your point I didn't know, "What's my role?"

I've sessioned with strict dominas, many well-known, escorts who are dominant, masseuses into kink, female bodybuilders (with my Amazon role play, love them), etc. Most of my sessions have been sensual - really no real pain or marks for me. I have always respected the women and their boundaries (no matter their label) and all of them have respected my limits. More than a few have given me privileges in one way or another I never expected.

My kink, if you can call it that, is to be with a beautiful woman I never would have met otherwise and, being as polite (dare I say a "gentleman" as possible) enjoying being the center of their attentions in a very theatrical setting - costumes, roleplay, acting, etc. I describe my sessions as an adult Disney World.

Been doing this since the '70s, off and on. I don't care what my "role" is but I've had a hell of a lot of fun the past few decades. I hope to continue to for a little while more.

Junglebeast,

Thank you that makes a ton of sense. I too have sessioned with many of the people you mentioned and had many fun experiences.

I like the way you and others think of the role. I have struggled with the question of being submissive but still in enjoy the M part of bdsm.

Hopefully im always respectful and a gentleman and if thats my role im good with that. Plus maybe ill get my ass kicked along the way.

These and other posts have really been helpful.