Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream?

Posted by: Spark

Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/15/21 04:57 PM

Almost every prodom i know has a full calendar

When i tell both men and women in my personal life about my interest in BDSM. Its met with a neutral response at worst but most often interest in how to get involved. And many people tell me they wish they could do something like that

It seems like so many people have become more comfortable sharing and being open about what society views as an “alternative” sex life. But femdom still seems to be in the shadows. If we are all into getting beat up by beautiful women I wonder why it isn't more mainstream in todays day and age?

It seems like we would all be happier that way

Posted by: The Thomas

Re: Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/15/21 08:46 PM

Wishing doesn't make it so. Learned that a long time ago.

While I have some problems with the idea of BDSM as a hardwired "orientation" I don't go to the opposite extreme and view it as a taste anyone can grow to appreciate.

"When i tell both men and women in my personal life about my interest in BDSM. Its met with a neutral response at worst but most often interest in how to get involved. And many people tell me they wish they could do something like that"

In my experience things are more complicated. I have noted in several threads that I am a switch. I have played from both sides over the years. One thing I have discovered is that among straight women there seem to 4 groups of roughly equal size:

1] Those who are either doing it already or constantly fantasizing about it. However 3/4 of this group are subs

2] Those willing to do it in order to indulge a lover

3] Those not willing to do it but are not judgmental. Sometimes they say things like, "that's cool but it's not for me".

4] Those who get upset when they learn that you are into it.

As for straight men there are a lot of what I like to call "weak tops" They indulge in some occasional maledom activities but only as a secondary adjunct to spice up vanilla sex acts never as a substitute. Men who are submissive are fewer in number but their kink is often as strong if not stronger than their vanilla desires.
Posted by: Spark

Re: Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/15/21 09:58 PM

Good points. I probably oversimplified to make a fast post.

I do think it is more widely practiced pr at least accepted than most realize. But because its rarely talked about is never normalized. As a result many of us feel some shame or isolation for our kinks. At least to a degree.

I will say that i pick and choose my spots on when to disclose my interests but i have been met with non judgement or accepting responses 100% of the time. Being able to be homest and candid has been freeing in these situations.

Posted by: The Thomas

Re: Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/16/21 09:04 PM

Hmm I have a very close friend who has made it clear that he considers all BDSM to be icky, evil or both. I have not told him of my experiences. Another friend is a good example of what I call a "weak top". He has several experiences as the dominant but is contemptuous of Femdom. I haven't told him either.
Posted by: Spark

Re: Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/16/21 09:20 PM

I believe that 20 years ago there were many people who had the same feeling about people in he LGBTQA community. As people realized that community including friends, neighbors, or family they became more accepting. Not everyone in that community choses to make heir sexuality public but many do and i believe the world is a better more accepting place because of it

I dont know if The BDSM community has an exact correlation but as i get older i start to care a lot less about what peoples negative viewpoints on BDSM are. I feel like the more i talk about the more normal it becomes. I believe many of us struggle because we have to hide this.

I will make comments like. “my gf and I participate in consensual female domination or bdsm”. I feel no shame in hiding it and if folks have a problem with it i dont care.
Posted by: MsRoseWoods

Re: Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/18/21 01:03 AM

I believe we should take to the streets. Defending the rights of Full Toilet slaves. Those poor misunderstood victims of discrimination. It's hard to keep a stiff upper lip, and a shit eating grin, with the whole world taking a dump on you! grin
Posted by: Komodo

Re: Why hasnt femdom gone mainstream? - 06/18/21 10:42 PM

I agree. I think the circles you move in make a big difference. I think most of my friends would be hostile. I think a second factor is ethnicity. Probably Americans are more exposed to changes of norms than people coming from other countries.